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I'm pissed of angry and down right tired of family that try to come in and out my life. On that note I'm happy I know I'm angry at the situation. It's hard being numb.
I am doing well considering I have a major surgery ahead of me on the 13th. I am not loving the idea, but it is my best chance for a cure for esophageal cancer. I am trying just to focus on the things that I can control and leave the operation in the hands of my Creator and the surgeon.
I am tired but ridiculous amount of effort needed today to say goodbye. Got it done though, happy about that. I guess I feel unforgiving or maybe just the trust blew up. Can't override that with not even an apology though. Guess that's what they wanted, no apology necessary in their mind. Such is life.
ETA, I did try to keep an open mind about it, as I had to give up something I've practiced for years every month along with it, means a lot to me. Or meant, I should say. But I weighed it and what i felt was self-disclosure after that- no way, never again. Simply not an option I can choose.
I'm so angry right now that I would like to punch someone.
I feel weak because I allowed myself to cry in front of the person that hurt me.
Mad at myself because I could not control my emotions.
I'm tried of not being ok.
I'm hopeful and anxious about @Lionheart 's surgery.
I'm grateful and happy product is indeed available for pick up, woohoo. Relieved. Now just to get there.
I am a bit disappointed somewhere I went had cancelled, free and anonymous but hoped to go 9 days in a row. Used to and it was very helpful. Glad if nothing else this would have been only day 1 lol.
Curious if doing what I used to will help me feel better and stronger, and grounded or more peace--filled? It did then.