What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Grace11]

Like ME again, with a bit more empathy, less judgment and more patience.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Hugs)))

 

[KP the nut]

Slightly embarrased to say - I feel a bit drunk.
Aim for this week - to cut back on alcohol

 

[justwannabeme]

Over lifed
Underwhelmed

 

[Marie E.]

Slightly embarrased to say - I feel a bit drunk.
Aim for this week - to cut back on alcohol:rolleyes:

HAHA!! It will be ok KP (((Big Hugs)))

 

[thewayout]

I feel: scared, abandoned, unloved, uncared for, hopeless, worthless, devastated, neglected, impatient, tired, abused, alone, ashamed, like I was born only to be an example of what not to be................

 

[anni]

Shattered, figuring out why. Know I have to deal with this since it's probably at the heart of so much, even why I married the *sswipe who got the PTSD ball rolling. Saw this this morning. My son, grandson and dam ex strolling along a Wier in Somerset where I used to live. That's Hurlestone Point in the background, the Bristol Channel there.I used to see it from my bedroom window. My wedding ring is around 20 feet to the right somewhere under water- good place for it.Threw it there after showing up at the pub one night to see the ex with one of his birds well before he was the ex-I was pregnant at the time. I never meant to leave there, you see. I came over here for a wedding 30 years ago, for a visit. The ex was being spiteful and sent word he'd had the lease to my flat his parents owned revoked. Me and 2 babies, 2 suitcases, that's it-never got to say goodbye to 5 years, all the friends, the life- all of it. Couldn't go back-lost everything-down to my pillowcases. The grandfather you see strolling idylically with son and grandson? Was threatened with jail before paying a cent towards his children's upkeep, years later. So my son is there, my grandson- that man. The other son had been born dead-touch and go in the Brit NICU for a long time. That man wasn't there then either. I'm not whining- so lucky and blessed in so many ways. SO know this. This just shattered me-the whys so deep.

 

[KP the nut]

Shattered, figuring out why. Know I have to deal with this since it's probably at the heart of so much, even why I married the *sswipe who got the PTSD ball rolling. Saw this this morning. My son, grandson and dam ex strolling along a Wier in Somerset where I used to live.

(((Anni)))
It is hard to see your past life like this. It is no wonder you are feeling shattered.

Be kind to yourself, remember to use your breathing and other exercises. You are not alone.

Linking arms
KP

 

[KP the nut]

Calm and at peace. I think, it is so long since I've felt either. Just got home after taking the dogs to the park along with coffee and a late lunch.

Also took cookies into local garage, suprising people is nice.

 

[Brontie]

(((Anni)))


Thankfully, I think I’m feeling better than I have done for some time.

 

[intothelight]

Just plain old beaten down.

Annie

Ready to sit on the porch, cry, share a bottle of wine, and then give all the shit in life a flush?

Deb

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear anni,

It's very hard to see something or someone portrayed in an idealic light without recognition of the 'realities' behind it- your ex's past behaviour or current character being one aspect conveniently left out. It feels unjust, inaccurate, and just plain wrong.

But 'pictures' are not reality, as much as they might (try to) convey or portray a 'peace' or 'hope' or 'idealism' which simply does not exist. You know- and I know you know- that your life now with a wonderful and gentle man, your relationships with your children and grandchildren, your friends and health and safety now, are real. They may not be in a 'picture' for all the world to see, but then again you are living the reality- honestly, without lies, without harmful behaviour to others, with integrity, compassion and care and love for others, given and received.

The scenery may be beautiful, but the past memories and realities very sad indeed. Your current 'scenery' may be less picturesque, but the true landscape- of your heart and relationships, that doesn't have to 'proven' to anyone because it is real- - is very beautiful (as are you :sneaky:).
((((anni))))