What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[goingonhope]

I am feeling wiped out for the day, but not in a ill way. Rather I feel kinda unusually great physically, as well as, mentally and emotionally, however a bit too sleepy-brain-slow.

I'm feeling quite tired and yet eager, ambitious, eager, ambitious for tommorrow and yet disappointed at this hr. as well because it's nearing the end of the day. As I said, I'm excited about tommorrow, up for the challenges and fingers crossed that I might enjoy a bit longer of a pleasant yet hard-working sail, before getting depressed-angry-hurt-scared shitless-physically wrecked-sick again.

I wish to rely upon getting sick happening sometime again and not become confused and get caught by total surprise; I'm learning to prefer counting on it happening and suspecting that life will work better for me while totally aware of this being the case.

 

[Iam]

I feel exhausted, but proud of myself.

I DID IT ....I went and confronted my T regarding how I felt about his last statement to me! :D God was that hard....in fact I think it was one of my hardest sessions yet. Came so close to crying. I've not cried in front of him since starting with him over 2 years ago. It was very hard for me to set another appt with him though. Took us a half our past our session to get me to the point where I agreed to. Then we ended up setting 3 appts for this month.

I'm also pissed and frustrated that I am symptomatic again. At least it's not as bad as it's been in the past though. I am handling all the crap that's happened in the last week much better than I ever would have before.

 

[LawPhotos]

proud of myself. I DID IT ....I went and confronted my T regarding how I felt about his last statement to me! :D God was that hard....in fact I think it was one of my hardest sessions yet. quote]

:tup:Way to go and well done, Iam!! How brave! You should be extremely proud of yourself! I, too, am terrified of confrontation. I don't think I could ever confront my T. I am scared that if I did I'd lose the one person on the face of the earth that actually might care what happens to me. It is a horribly unhealthy view, I'm sure, but I'd much rather endure whatever she did/said than risk having to deal with the abandonment/rejection I would feel if the confrontation didn't go well.

 

[LawPhotos]

Overwhelmed.

{{{{{Nie}}}}} I feel completely overwhelmed so often, too. Walking beside you in silence in a safe, calm place right now.

 

[LawPhotos]

tired, frustrated, stupid, worthless, unloved, alone and fearful of the future

 

[Iam]

It is a horribly unhealthy view, I'm sure, but I'd much rather endure whatever she did/said than risk having to deal with the abandonment/rejection I would feel if the confrontation didn't go well.

I understand how you feel Law. This is the first time I have ever confronted Dale and I've been going to him for 26 months now. In fact this is the only time that we have gone more than 2 weeks between sessions. There have been many times that I have wanted to confront him on some comment I've read into and have not had the courage to do it. It is huge progress that I was able to. Especially considering that I just wanted to cut and run. After working intensely for these last 2 years though I decided it was in my best interest to stick with it. That my reaction was something that needed to be processed. Part of me knew that Dale would handle it well or I guess I wouldn't have said anything. Maybe we need time, a lot of time, in a safe relationship for us to re-learn that we can trust "safe people" not to hurt us.

Funny, I said "sorry" as I was leaving. He stopped me and asked me why I was sorry. He told me that I did a good job. That I was not aggressive or passive, but assertive and that was good.

The thing is....our T's are trained to handle things situations like this. No good therapist would reject or abandon us for telling them how we feel. That is in fact part of why we are there isn't it? To learn to work through our traumas, as well as how to express and regulate our emotions? I think your T would take it like mine, help you work thru it and she would be proud of you for doing it.

PS...I LOVE your photos! I have just recently taken up photography and am loving it ;o)

 

[AngelaMarie]

I am feeling irritable! The cold symptoms came back last night and I had to sit up half the night because I couldn't catch my breath. Grrrr! Not fun at all. Now today I am so tired and feel horrible!:(

 

[intothelight]

AngelaMarie, I hope you feel better today.

Feeling a little apprehensive about today. Had two really rough (stressful) situations at work yesterday and even though I handled them, the anxiety levels were through the roof for most of the day. Really noticed the adrenaline pumping after being without it for an extended period. Handled things by working out, but I know this is an area that I really, really need to work on. Stress is a reality of life and I can't spend my life in a bubble. Not at all pleased with myself and frustrated that I don't have better control of my responses.

 

[Srain]

Grateful for understanding and the strong women role models that are now in my life.

I grew up with bitter, so called-independent- women, who really turned out to be men hating angry, lonely, resentful, hateful broads that picked at me for believing I was not like them- with one exception...my Great Grandma..she was lovely but we rarely saw her. They called me "weak" for refusing to give up on trying and not settling. I feel my strength in that today and I feel the courage of those women in my life today that recognize that in me today.

There is nothing wrong with women living and being on their own, My lovely Grandma showed me that, I have done it for years at a time and so enjoyed it ...I am not against that. However, always, in my heart, I always saw myself strong with a love in my life and learning how to love that person as a companion. I see that as MY WIN. I see my role models as strong and supportive and I am grateful today. It gives me strength to continue to move forward on this difficult path.

 

[The Albatross]

I feel calm.
I feel rested.
I feel acceptable.
I feel peaceful.
I feel present.
I feel kinda pretty good, even with a cold.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Feeling a bit better today. Just need to relax and breathe and take one step. Just one step. Need to allow myself time to adjust to new everything. I can do this. And I have a great support system. I am not alone.

 

[The Albatross]

(((PH))) Right... you are not alone... you have a bleacher filled with people who care and are supporting you... praying for you and/or lobbing positive vibes and well wishes for your triumph and success!