I feel hopeless and stupid. Feel like I have never learnt how to be, all I learnt was wrong and even when I try to do the right thing, my thinking is still wrong.
I thought I was calming down, but even my idea of calm is wrong.
Don't know how to assert myself without raising my voice, a raised voice isn't shouting to me, but that is not calm enough for my kids. My kids have been hurt by my shouting and now even when I try and not to shout I still can't get it right. I feel I need to raise my voice to assert, but that is wrong, I don't get how to be assertive, either I am a mouse or whatever I do is too agressive.
Just feel my whole self is just so wrong.