I feel a whole mixed bag of emotions today:
- Happy and a bit overwhelmed it's Easter. Thankful and grateful. For what it means, and for so much.
-Very very grateful. :inlove:
And (but) on a 'ptsd note', can recall when making it to Easter itself was miraculous. Because of SI and such. So thankful and a bit in awe. And also ashamed.
-Thankful for family but in trepidation for when they will arrive. And a bit of fear for what tonight will hold.
-Anxious and wound up but exhausted.
-Disappointed in what I didn't accomplish. :(
-Dreading not smoking but trying to be optimistic.
-Hating everything about PTSD. Wishing I were 'something' else, or 'someone' else- stronger, kinder, less-selfish, more 'normal'. Hate how it affects your body, mind, heart and soul.
-Wanting to isolate but knowing it's wrong.
-Vulnerable and at the mercy of ptsd. Wishing I didn't end up the way I 'am'. But also tired of 'who' or how I am.
-Recognizing much is fear, lack of self-acceptance or self-worth, 'flight' tendency. Or, at least trying to convince myself that is some of the basis for feeling stripped.
-Grateful and happy, happier for others. In a word, happy and sad- go figure. :confused:
Still wishing I could isolate!
-Evidently long-winded (-Sorry! :( ) as I can't find the words, lol.