Feeling so much heart ache right now. I'm worried that I won't be able to keep it together tomorrow, or that my grief will pour out when I'm trying to make a good impression at work. It's my first day, so I'm a little nervous. I'm tired, but just feeling grievy right now, and miss her so much.It seems to be hitting me hard today, which is bad timing. I had the last three weeks to grieve, but it's been in dribbles. Today it feels more intense, and the memories are coming to me more. I just feel quite fragile, and not sure how I'm going to pull this off tomorrow and appear all happy for work. I hate putting on the happy face.