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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Saw in the paper that someone I knew had died, so went by the funeral home to sign the guestbook. I didn't expect to see his two daughters there, preparing pictures for the service later. They recognized me from going with their family on a ski trip many years ago. This all took me by surprise as I just wanted to go in and leave.

I then stopped to talk to the directors about something I keep putting off. My talking with them surfaced so many feelings about my life and not having had a family. Lots of anger came up too about my sister, so will need to address that. It was just too much to face so am feeling pretty down about myself!
 
I can't think of a word for it. I didn't sleep so my anxiety levels are up, and I keep getting startled by the sounds of a windy day outside. I'm being very mean to me about jumping out of my skin over such a silly thing. Maybe it's disappointment for not learning how to manage these things yet? All I can see is a pile of symptoms, I don't know where to pull to get myself out of the tidal waves of black goo.
 
I'm feeling relaxed and happy. I have done all week. I was proud of myself for taking care of myself when I had a cold and turned down a night out. It was the best thing to do me me, plus I was able to say no without feeling guilty.

I'm looking forward to going away for tomorrow night. Hubby and I are going to see our daughter and the band she is in. We have their CD but haven't seen them play live. The B & B is booked and the dog watcher is organised.
 

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