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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel proud that I tackled my first intimate encounter with my husband (not sexual) today (stopped sexual intimacy with him when I was diagnosed with ptsd a month ago so I can start my healing from childhood sexual trauma
I feel disassociated from everyone and this makes me feel sad and
I feel emotionally exhausted from my encounter today (though I was proud I stayed relaxed and present predominately)
I feel anxious about what kind of sleep I will have tonight (it's often very bad and draining ATM)
I feel numb- not functional
I feel scared of many things ATM
 
Feeling a little excited. Have to get out for my doctor appointment and, since I am already out, I'm going to venture to the pet store for some special food for my cat. He seems to like it, and he is way too skinny, so I'll pay a little more. Been a bit emotional as of late. Not sure I'm liking that. Especially the tears.
 
Really. really upset, triggered and angry.

I've only been home for 1 day and my eldest son has just laid into myself and my husband over doing the dishes after we had had our evening meal He said we should just leave them and not rush to do them and that we were 'obsessed with tidiness.'

I said i wasn't bothered weather he did dishes or not, the we never pressurise him to do them but that he cannot tell us what we can and can't do in our own home.

He can be so selfish and inconsiderate, he isn't bothered how another person feels and he just laid into us and reduced me to tears so much that I wish I had never come home, never come back, stayed at KP's and I just want to run away but there is no where for me to go.

Dreading tomorrow.

:cry::cry::cry:
 
What am I feeling today? :cautious:

First off, sick. I have another bleep-ed-bleep-bleep cold! :mad: The coincidence of it all really pisses me off. I get to where I want to be, doing what I feel needs to be done... and no matter how I try to pass that hurdle, something always interferes. If nothing else will stop me from doing well... I come down with a cold, whether it's winter or summer! It's frustrating. :meh: It just seems impossible to get out of the same patterns that have replayed my whole life. Exhausting. :unsure:

I hate that I've fallen off track again. :confused:

I'm feeling a lot of hate and anger. Which makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Okay, understatement. It makes me feel suicidal, in a way. Like I don't deserve to exist because I'm angry. :hungover: (I'm not really suicidal... it's just the same ol' feelings popping up. I think I was told too many times by my parents how much they wanted me dead. There's an inner part of me that still thinks if I was just dead, I would finally be doing something right and that would make my parents happy with me. It's nuts.)

I'm feeling very trapped. There's a lot there that is seeping through the cracks. There's nowhere for this stuff to go. There's no solution that works. :sour:

I'm extremely frustrated with what's going on with therapy and such. It's such a tangle. :shifty:
 
Here's a quote for everybody from author Anne Lamott. If you haven't read her stuff, it's well worth it. She posted on facebook: My pastor always ends her benediction, "God bless you real good," and this is my hope for you all today. THIS is the day You-Know-Who has made, let us rejoice and be glad and goofy in it. Get in a walk, and practice radical silliness. If you want to have loving feelings today, do loving things: Flirt with everyone, especially old people and yourself. Pick up some litter in your neighborhood, even though there will be more by Sunday. Get your work done, one inadequate sentence and paragraph at a time...Left foot, right foot, left foot, breathe.....Those are the things I am going to do today.
 
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