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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

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Ugh sick to my stomach. Never heard about update from sister & must have gotten up 10 times. Found out she will likely have to wait anywhere from now to 48 hours for swelling to go down & a bed before she is transferred & surgery. They always do this though, in the way of telling something then not getting back. Miraculous they were this quick. My other sister saw one sign in to FB & msg'ed her or we'd still be wondering. I didn't know til the morning though.

I think I love/ worry/ care for them more than they feel about me. Not that that matters, though apart from not responding (I don't base it entirely on that, though that is included) I think that is so.
 
Feeling overwhelmed and depressed.

How will I know when I'm emotionally and mentally ready to actually go through with filing for divorce when I know he won't take it well (who does) and he may be very angry and very vindictive? It seems like a huge uphill battle and I wish it were over already. When will I know I'm ready? Will I just "know"? Just like I "knew" when I was ready to heal and move on with my life? It just seems so overwhelming dealing with my therapy, trying to heal, trying to deal with him (putting up boundaries and being on guard for verbal attacks) and children and work. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward through it all because I'm certain it won't be easy and will take a lot of energy which I don't have much of these days.
 

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