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What Are You Grateful For Today?

Feeling better today.

Feeling like I have hope.

Well I realised in therapy that I have been stuck in a trauma state for awhile. So that is why I have been so stuck. I feel like I might start to get on top of things now.

I don't know how to explain it too well but I will give it my best shot. I have been going over and over a childhood trauma being stuck in the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. My psychiatrist explained it better yesterday.

I have kept getting stuck in that state a fair bit so now I have an understanding of it - not that I am explaining it too clearly - but now I understand that a bit more I will have to do some hard yards and hard work to move on, b ut it is at least possible now.

I don't want to be too graphic but there were a series of traumas as a small child that left me flattened and hoping for rescue or some help from a responsible adult. I kept slipping into that child influenced state or perspective.

So I am grateful for having some hope.
 
I'm grateful that my therapist agrees with me when I say I've really grown and learned a lot over the last year since my trauma.

I'm grateful for the foresight that when I get home I'm going to turn up the dancing music and dance around with the dog. I'm sure she will try to jump up onto my lap like she always does.

I'm grateful that I can have cathartic cries when I need them and not judge myself for having those moments.
 
I am grateful that I was able to tell a friend about my trauma for the first time. And that she understood, took me seriously and gave me a big hug.
I am grateful to have great friends like her.
I am grateful that she has helped me overcome my fear to tell more friends about it, so that I will no longer have to fight PTSD alone.
 

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