Grateful for whatever strengths/qualities that I have that allowed me to step up and manage some business for my mother and myself this morning, and for the Grace underwriting all that I am able to do, despite being horribly triggered by it all.
I am grateful that I was able to go back through old materials of my own and to read through a couple of threads out here having to do with controversial emotional/mental health issues related to what I have going on without totally spiraling as buttons were being pressed right and left. Instead, what I found was that I had a thoughtful, albeit edgy/worried, response to what I read. Yes, I ruminated a bit, but am grateful that I was able to allow myself to take in the information instead of running from it, to think about it and feel about it, to reflect upon it in context with my life experiences and experiences in therapy, and to use it to help myself instead of instantly miring myself in the emotional weeds of fear as so often happens. It was important for me to stand in the truths that I see now instead of where I was then and not to judge myself for "then". If just for today, I am thankful that I believe I have turned a corner in being able to reflect without falling into the insanity acted out in the past. For that, I am thankful to Grace which enables me to do all that I can do today.
As you all know, but just to repeat, I am also very grateful for the Forum and the people who come into these rooms to share, connect, support, and heal. VB