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What are your ACE/PCE scores?

I struggle with these questionnaires because they both are really limiting and don’t reflect the reasons why I have complex PTSD & OSDD.

Same. I can answer that yes my mother hit me as an infant/toddler but I was never afraid of her and it isn't why I'm traumatized. It's why I have RAD potentially SZPD, but not PTSD.

We have worked a ton of that stuff out. Post-partum psychosis is no joke. Hers lasted about six or seven years. I have no anger or resentment to her and she's worked hard to totally change her behavior.

So I can answer some of these ACE questions and it seems like my home life must have been truly awful but it actually wasn't. After age 6 it was very ordinary. Even V was fine at home. It wasn't supremely positive but it also wasn't very negative either.

That's kind of what's so f*cked up about it. I went to school and went home and life was normal and then I went to F's and entered this upside down bizarro world. By just looking at how I answer those questions you really don't get a clear view of what happened.
 
That's kind of what's so f*cked up about it. I went to school and went home and life was normal and then I went to F's and entered this upside down bizarro world. By just looking at how I answer those questions you really don't get a clear view of what happened.
Yes! I feel exactly the same…on one hand my life was normal and the other it was bizarro. Thanks for sharing.
 
ACE:6
PCE:4

I mean, interesting, I guess? Although my mother was mine and my Dad’s abuser so if the “was your mother ever hit?” Was actually “was one parent abused by the other?” Then my ACE is 7. Meh. As we’ve all concluded, it’s a very narrow score sheet.

And age matters too I guess. All the ACES (ha! Sorry I just find it funny) occurred from 0-10 years old and all the PCE’s were a result of being taken into my Grandparents’ custody (even that was complicated/part time, then full time) from age 8. So I think that has a big impact on the, well, impact.
 
There are so many scenarios which the ACE questions just don't quite capture... so depending on how you read into some of the questions the score can be very different..I think it's very hard to capture and reflect the level of adversity like this... but I do appreciate someone out there is trying to do this almost impossible task!

Depending on how you read into it, my ACE score is anywhere between 3-6 ...

I haven't done the other one.. don't even know what it is!

Those are your encounters. For others it’s different. The age difference does not matter if abuse is happening. I was abused/assaulted/raped, mostly by adults but also by a child who was my age. it does matter.
This is such an important point about the ACE and funnily enough not long ago I wrote this in feedback to the researchers after taking the test online because it prompts you to write any feedback at the end...

Where the hell they got 5 years or more from for that question I really don't know. It feels like they just plucked it out the air during a conference meeting...'What do you think, shall we say 3 or 5 years?' Clearly people who aren't in the know about these issues came up with that. I sincerely doubt it's from any research and as those of us with COCSA experience know, that is rubbish....

I do think age does matter and is a defining factor for SOME people's abuse ... but not everyone's story... obvious case is a 17 year old molesting a 4 year old.... there are obvious power differentials there in the age gap which will likely be very impactful. But that scenario doesn't take away from the experience of a 9 year old being abused by an 8 year old.... or a 10 year old abusing an 8 year old or an 11 year old abusing another 11 year old... it's absurd to think it would be dismissed on age alone... so many other factors aren't considered and, as you already know, that's disappointing and infuriating...
 
There are so many scenarios which the ACE questions just don't quite capture... so depending on how you read into some of the questions the score can be very different..I think it's very hard to capture and reflect the level of adversity like this... but I do appreciate someone out there is trying to do this almost impossible task!

Depending on how you read into it, my ACE score is anywhere between 3-6 ...

I haven't done the other one.. don't even know what it is!


This is such an important point about the ACE and funnily enough not long ago I wrote this in feedback to the researchers after taking the test online because it prompts you to write any feedback at the end...

Where the hell they got 5 years or more from for that question I really don't know. It feels like they just plucked it out the air during a conference meeting...'What do you think, shall we say 3 or 5 years?' Clearly people who aren't in the know about these issues came up with that. I sincerely doubt it's from any research and as those of us with COCSA experience know, that is rubbish....

I do think age does matter and is a defining factor for SOME people's abuse ... but not everyone's story... obvious case is a 17 year old molesting a 4 year old.... there are obvious power differentials there in the age gap which will likely be very impactful. But that scenario doesn't take away from the experience of a 9 year old being abused by an 8 year old.... or a 10 year old abusing an 8 year old or an 11 year old abusing another 11 year old... it's absurd to think it would be dismissed on age alone... so many other factors aren't considered and, as you already know, that's disappointing and infuriating...
Agreed. I was trafficked by my first boyfriend. He was only 4 months older than me. We met when we were 15. This test fails to capture the depth and scope of the majority of my traumatic life experiences in any meaningful way.
 
ACE has got to be one of the least well designed screens ever.

Let me go through it:

1. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?

I was unaware of the putdowns until a friend picked me up. Probably grade 11. While waiting for me to get my boots on he and my mom chatted. He asked me later, "Does your mom always put you down like that? " "Like what?" Clearly it happened so much I filtered it.

2. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?

Maybe. I have a dream/vision/flashback of being slammed into a door, resulting in whiplash, stars, breath knocked out. Is it real?

3. Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?

Someone did. I don't remember it, but I have accounts of the behaviour changes, and they all match up to CSA. I was 3.

4, Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?

Well, yeah. No hugs, few compliments. Sis kicked out for getting preggers. Brother teasing that I could be replaced by a new kid from Sears Roebuck. Lesson: All "love" (whatever the f*ck that means) is conditional.

5. Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?

Question asks 'before you were 18' No. Before then I didn't feel this. In hindsight, and checking with my sister, I went to school wearing the same clothing for weeks at a time in middle childhood. But I thought it was normal. Food is weird. I have both memories of having enough to eat, and of forging my parents signatures to get stuff from the then-equivalent of food banks, and of stealing leftovers from McDonalds when I worked there. Protection? I don't think I even considered the question. Doctor? I don't remember ever having to suffer from not seeing a doctor, but I also would try to tough it out if I was hurt.

6. Were your parents ever separated or divorced?

I wish. I think living with my dad could have been cool, if he was free to express himself, and if I understood his limits.

7. Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?

Why just stepmother? I have a description of my sister of my mom verbally abuseing my father, making him feel small, incompetent. Too much integrity, he stood there, white lipped, unspeaking. According to sis, I mirrored his expressions.

8. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?

Yeah. Me.

9. Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?

Before 18? Mom was depressed. After 18: Me. I've actively plotted out suicide methods that would either be painless for me, or indeterminate for others.

10. Did a household member go to prison?

No.
 
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