ACE has got to be one of the least well designed screens ever.
Let me go through it:
1. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
I was unaware of the putdowns until a friend picked me up. Probably grade 11. While waiting for me to get my boots on he and my mom chatted. He asked me later, "Does your mom always put you down like that? " "Like what?" Clearly it happened so much I filtered it.
2. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
Maybe. I have a dream/vision/flashback of being slammed into a door, resulting in whiplash, stars, breath knocked out. Is it real?
3. Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?
Someone did. I don't remember it, but I have accounts of the behaviour changes, and they all match up to CSA. I was 3.
4, Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
Well, yeah. No hugs, few compliments. Sis kicked out for getting preggers. Brother teasing that I could be replaced by a new kid from Sears Roebuck. Lesson: All "love" (whatever the f*ck that means) is conditional.
5. Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?
Question asks 'before you were 18' No. Before then I didn't feel this. In hindsight, and checking with my sister, I went to school wearing the same clothing for weeks at a time in middle childhood. But I thought it was normal. Food is weird. I have both memories of having enough to eat, and of forging my parents signatures to get stuff from the then-equivalent of food banks, and of stealing leftovers from McDonalds when I worked there. Protection? I don't think I even considered the question. Doctor? I don't remember ever having to suffer from not seeing a doctor, but I also would try to tough it out if I was hurt.
6. Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
I wish. I think living with my dad could have been cool, if he was free to express himself, and if I understood his limits.
7. Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?
Why just stepmother? I have a description of my sister of my mom verbally abuseing my father, making him feel small, incompetent. Too much integrity, he stood there, white lipped, unspeaking. According to sis, I mirrored his expressions.
8. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?
Yeah. Me.
9. Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?
Before 18? Mom was depressed. After 18: Me. I've actively plotted out suicide methods that would either be painless for me, or indeterminate for others.
10. Did a household member go to prison?
No.
