True triggers -- that send me straight into a panic attack (do not pass Go, do not collect $200):
- My doorbell ringing or someone knocking on my door
- The mere thought of someone coming in my apt. without advanced notice
- Police cars
- Animal abuse or neglect; animals being sick or injured (pretty much rules out Animal Planet eh?)
- The scene of my trauma
- The smell of propane
Things I am extremely touchy or uncomfortable with, I become "like a cat on a hot tin roof" --
very anxious/antsy -- and have to get outta there ASAP:
- Being in a crowd, even outside - I can't stand people all close like that.
- Fireworks, the closer I am the worse it is - both the flashing lights and the loud bangs
- Constant loud/bright stimulus like Rivergirl mentioned
- Death. I've got this weird thing going on with death. :dontknow:
- Surprises/sudden and immediate changes in plans.
- Hearing (on the scanner) there is a fire-related danger regarding propane (tank on fire, or a structure fire with nearby tank)
- Hearing (on the scanner) that there has been an explosion
- Fire-related deaths, particularly house fires
Things that I'm sensitive to, get my hackles up (some of these were present before my trauma, but now I have very little tolerance):
- Rudeness
- Any situation where I'm helpless/have little or no control or influence
(you know, the flood waters are rising, and there's nothing we can do to stop it...)
- Changes in plans for that day. I too need lots of warning to "prepare" to do something, get my brain adjusted and ready.
- Roadkill -- I am obsessed/very worried about how they suffered
I don't have any problems with blood or menstruation itself, but the female hormone cycle -- ovulation and menstruation -- are really rough for me. The hormones kind of crank up the intensity in my head, like my emotional pump is super-primed. I'm more edgy, anxious, and run more paranoid just generally; then it takes very little to set me off, and I over-react. I've made a rule w/ myself, "no major life decisions when I have my period." There's a full week every month I
will not make major decisions, because I invariably see things as being much worse than they really are. I back off forums, I don't go out, I just kind of shrink back into the shadows and try not to say anything to anybody that week. *giggle* I even melted down and started
crying in a fire meeting a few months ago. You know, like a
girl. :rolleyes: I was so embarrassed, but even worse, I couldn't stop!! Ugh. Hormones just suck for me.
Hope it is okay that I split things out, I wouldn't call everything a "trigger" though. In a lot of ways I am just more sensitive or tuned-in to particular things than I was before my trauma. The groundwork was already there, but now the wires are live! :smile: And this varies, of course ... I've worked codes (CPR) on people since the trauma and have been fine with them. But then we put my cat to sleep and I was hysterical. :dontknow: I am closer to "healthy" on the good days, and am a train wreck on the bad days. It ebbs and flows sometimes even within a single day.
Bailey
