What Do You Do For You?

[piratelady]

I was asked this question in therapy today and had no answer. In an effort to help me deal with my depression and stop isolating, he has been encouraging me to spend more time with friends. I have found it incredibly beneficial. It distracts me from the ruminating thoughts about my trauma and the current stresses in my life. Unfortunately, I can't spend every spare moment with a friend.

Today he asked me, when discussing my anxiety, "What are you doing for yourself?' I had nothing. I can't think of anything I do or can do that is "for myself." I wonder what he means: a hobby, self-care, pampering?

What do you guys do for yourselves?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I get mani/pedis. I get my hair dyed and cut in a salon. I get mocha frappes. I read. I go out with my daughter. I am in the process of rebuilding my life. I moved away from everyone I knew and so am starting over at this stage. I will be joining a group soon.

I had to do my nails myself today as I cannot afford to have it done this week. I think you do things with your friends. I hope this helps.

 

[p-no]

I turn the phones off for stress relief at times. Sometimes I buy the food (expensive) I love and treat myself. I light a candle and cuddle up on my sofa. I watch movies that hold a special meaning for me; I watch them alone and let the feelings surface that want to. I go for a walk or a boat ride and sometimes have a cold chocolate with cream. I write in my diary here or letter or postcards or in some notebook.

I just bought a beautiful patchwork armchair for future cuddling up in it and reading in my new "reading corner" in my new apartment. I take hot baths for hours. I rarely bake bread but when I do it's for me only (the process, not the bread).

Sometimes I just sit down and think and/or remember and/or daydream. I stop again, too. I buy gifts for others I care about -- takes ages, and that's all the fun! I listen to my favourite songs over and over. I open up the windows of my bedroom, lie down on the bed and listen to the leaves in the wind.

 

[Lionheart]

One thing I like to do esp. when I am tired and weary is; light a candle and bathe in sea salt water, I then dry off, smudge myself (with sage, cedar or lavender), anoint myself with frank and myrrh oil, then climb in the bed under a soft quilt, grab my teddy bear and sleep like a newborn. (Yes, I am 51 yrs old and sometimes sleep with a teddy bear for comfort...I did not have one as a child).

I also like to purchase small figurines and repaint them, listening to soothing music as I do. I have a sketch pad that I like to draw on and I like to take nature walks when the weather permits, gathering fallen feathers which I have been collecting for some time. Often on nature walks I will take photos, but my camera isn't the greatest and I need a new one. When I visit the local park I usually will feed the ducks and I also like to go fishing there.

I like to take the advise I was once given and just sit underneath a tree and daydream. Occasionally, I will take my sketch pad with me. Journaling is also something helpful that I do for myself. Meditation is something else I enjoy doing, and I like to visit the library and check out some good books to read, usually non-fiction, but also ghost stories and classics like Lewis Carol and Edgar Allen Poe etc.

Lighting candles (white) and incense (usually sandalwood) is a fun practice to help calm and relax me and I plan to get a professional massage in the near future for muscle aches/pains. I am an art lover so, I occasionally visit an art gallery or collect graphics from different websites and share them with my friends.

Many times I find myself ordering a pizza and watching a good movie or simply having a bowl of ice cream, but one has to be careful with comfort foods because it will put the weight on quickly if not taken in moderation. I also enjoy herbal medicine, playing with my cats, and messing 'round on the computer.

 

[Privateer]

Not much. I sometimes go to the barber for a shave. It's a bit more relaxing than doing it myself, I suppose.

I don't really take time for my hobbies anymore. Too much to be getting on with, you know?

 

[piratelady]

Thank you all for the input and ideas. I think there are things I enjoy and could be doing for myself, but just don't do. I think, maybe I am in a rut. I enjoy running, I think I should get back into that, and start working on my quilt again. I'll have to make a list or something and maybe schedule it into my day.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Hi PirateLady,
I have lots of things I like to do, but, getting to them (like that rut you mentioned) is another story.

I like to bead: making earrings takes less time (easier to feel a sense of accomplishment).
I love folksy art and making satirical cartoons based on puns.
I'm a wacky crafter and make ornaments, cards, silly fortune-telling gag gifts.
But, they take time and uncluttered space: time, first, to pull things out and, then, time to put them back up to make way for my job's paperwork. So, only if I get vacation time do I really get to play!

You mentioned that you find coloring in coloring books relaxing -- me, too. The-Lovely-of-My-Mother taught me a simple quick trick that I do sometimes in my "old-school" journal:

Close your eyes and let yourself draw any type of shaped line or shape. Only allow yourself one stroke/movement. You stop when you pick up the pencil or crayon from that first initial line/shape.

Then, open your eyes, and see if you can find an image in it, or part of an image in it -- whether it's abstract or realistic or cartoonish. Before you know it, you've kind of made your own coloring book.

 

[piratelady]

I am the same way, about having to get everything out and pack it all back away again. I enjoy quilting, but to work on it, I have to get all the fabric, tools, and sewing machine out. Once finished, it all has to be packed up again. I need easier hobbies, lol.

I like the journal, coloring idea, that is an interesting idea to try.

It's too bad you (and I guess me to) don't have an extra "work-space" to be able to leave all of our crafting stuff out for easier use. That would definitely make "me-time" much easier. Maybe one day :)

 

[Bartie]

I love gardening and there's also something quite relaxing about hosing or powerwashing the cobblelock or the garden....I can't put my finger on it. I also find going for a walk by the beach with my dog very relaxing...and all the better if there's waves brushing up against the rocks!

Recently, I also decided that I'd learn how to swim. I was a complete novice - the last time I was in a pool was in my teenage years. I didn't have a phobia - but for some reason I did have a fear of the deep end. I really decided to push myself. After one week I was off the kickboard, and now that I am five sessions in - I can do the front crawl and back stroke and I've made it down to 5ft. 9. Haven't quiet done the complete lenght of the pool yet though - but give it time!

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Bartie, that's great, swimming is very relaxing. I'm slowly learning to garden (gardening in pots). And,
***
PirateLady, quilting -- what a wonderful craft, but, yeh, it does take up a lot of space.

(I'd have more space if I weren't such a craft-supplies hoarder. I get so many ideas in my head: oh, I could use that this way and, oh, I better not throw that away because that could be useful for such-and-such idea. :facepalm:. Then, again, if I ever win the lottery or find someday I get to retire, I'll be well-stocked for all kinds of creative wackery!)

 

[Britt.f7]

For awhile I was getting out exercising and reading a good book. Now I spend time on here, on this forum. I think this is good for me right now. I also like to read news articles on line and play a couple games that involve other people. Writing is also my passion.

I'm looking forward to when I can go out and be sociable. Just not at that point yet.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

The happiest I was when I had a craft room. I could leave my sewing machine out and work on crafts and just shut the door when I was done. I lost that when I moved and what a mistake that was. I did not want my kids to go through my stuff so I gave it up. Mabe I will pick it up again. I just need to get more interested in crafts again. Good topic.