What Do You Do When It Is All Too Much?

[WonderingWhy]

:)Good!

 

[anthony]

Good work... and I agree totally with webVixen... focus on small things, one at a time, achieve, then go find the next thing to focus upon. Failure is about learning and improving ourselves. You can't improve if you don't fail, as unfortunate as that sounds, its true. How do you improve something if there is no scope for improvement? You can't... which is why what's perfect is different for every person based on their perceptions.

Baby steps... simple as that.

 

[Heather]

Bad news there is no longer a client support fund my therapist told me. So, now I really am screwed. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't have my utilities shut off!!! My cable, internet and phone is probably gonna get shut off too. That isn't nearly as critical, I guess.

I don't know what I'm going to do!

AAAaaauuuggghhhh!!:banghead:

 

[Lionheart]

I don't know what I'm going to do!
AAAaaauuuggghhhh!!:banghead:

Heather, do you have family that can help you out until you get things situated?
Unfortunately, that is the only help I can give you...(I don't know what I would done if it hadn't been for my mom allowing me to move in with her when things were tough).

Seems to me like there should be some government program in place to help you get the things you need. Or is that what the client support fund was?

 

[Heather]

my mom allowing me to move in....
government program in place to help you get the things you need. Or is that what the client support fund was?

Thanks for trying to help Lionheart --

but unfortunately I missed the deadline for the govt. program. The client support fund was dissolved due to budget cuts and I rather live on the street in a cardboard box than live with my mother :devil:

 

[Lionheart]

Thanks for trying to help Lionheart --

You are welcome Heather, I just wish I was able to be more of a help to you.

 

[Heather]

You are welcome Heather, I just wish I was able to be more of a help to you.

Can I borrow your credit card? haha;);)

Just kidding. I have t'il friday to come up with the money to pay my cable bill. Which probably won't happen. They're gonna shut off my t.v., internet and phone:(. Oh, well. I'll live. Not happily mind you but I'll live.

 

[Lionheart]

They're gonna shut off my t.v., internet and phone:(.

Will you still be able to get here to the forum? :confused:

 

[WonderingWhy]

Heather,

I feel for you. I have no internet myself. Not sure where you live, but I have become quite resourceful in locating "free internet access" .

I am at the library right now! I also can take my laptop (until it dies) and get a ride to McDonalds, Panera Bread, CiCi's Pizza, IHOP, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, and many other places. Tons of hotels. Sometimes you can just drive around and catch an unlocked signal from a home. My bank also has it with FREE COFFEE and comfee chairs & TV to boot!:rolleyes:

I have found that now many establishments have it and it's not even posted. You just have to ask.

 

[Heather]

Will you still be able to get here to the forum? :confused:

Not likely:cry:.

Although I did contact my ex:rolleyes::rolleyes: and he said he might be able to help. We'll see if he actually comes through. He said he'd call be back tonight....$306.16 says....I have to call him. He's such a loser. I don't need anymore stress in my life. If he'd just pay the child support like he's supposed to I wouldn't be in this predicament to begin with.

Heather,

I feel for you. I have no internet myself. Not sure where you live, but I have become quite resourceful in locating "free internet access" .

I am at the library right now!
.

Yes, I have just gotten so use to being at home on the couch with my laptop and the t.v..... I guess I would have to get out and lose my loner/hermit/isolation identity status. Which I've grown quite used to! I actually like it. Which I really never, ever thought I would.

I don't like being out among people anymore. The noise, just being around others, their opinions, behavior, (often rude at times) really bothers me. Much safer at home.

What has happened to me? I used to goto sexual assault support group and a domestic violence group. I don't even go to those anymore. Just no desire. I realize my depression is really bad right now. My 7 y/o even said to me a little while ago, "you don't like to do anything fun, all you like to do is boring stuff". I couldn't argue with her on that one. She has a field trip on friday and asked me if I wanted to volunteer to go I told her, "no". I feel like a terrible mother sometimes.

 

[anthony]

Well, you won't like this, but here it is. You are actually traumatizing your child in a way, because your setting them up to become a depressed, isolated loner, just the same as you are doing. Monkey see, monkey do, that is how kids work. Adults are the exact role model for children... what they see and learn becomes "their" normal. All these people with complex trauma and PTSD symptoms who raise kids, and don't participate with their children for excuses.... are all causing damage.

You may not like to hear that, but it is the truth. Shit, even I used to push past my own crap with my kids when I had them with me, to still be a parent and take them out to do fun kids things. I would not wish my kids to have to go through what I have... and it is our responsibility as adults to influence our children's lives positively so they don't grow-up with negative behaviours.

Raising kids with PTSD can impose emotional abuse onto them IF we don't take responsibility for ourselves, and push past our own irrational fears to raise them to the best of our abilities.

Sorry, but your excuse to sit on the lounge with a laptop, ignore your childs request because of irrational fears, is not helping you nor your child. Maybe a yes instead of a no to her request would get you moving again. Even if you start small, making a commitment each day to take your child to the park and play with them, you will quickly get motivated and out of your depressive funk and see what life has to offer once again.

Your stuck, I get it, I can see it within your reading.... but nobody can unstick you except you Heather.

 

[CarrotHead]

I struggle with these things that Anthony mentioned... sometimes I just have to take an anxiety pill before I go do the 'kid' things. None of the 'kid' things are comfortable for me. I wasn't allowed such a privilege.

But I do push through... so my boy doesn't have to suffer.
Sometimes I fail and become a couch potato, but I fight with all my might to do several activities a week if not several in a day.

A routine commitment helps. Right now I have my son in Tae Kwon Do and his father has him in soccer. I don't always attend soccer because I can only take so much of his father and the nosy soccer moms... But I do go. And I am the one who takes him to martial arts five or six times a week.

Whether I like it or not.