What Do You Do When The Pain Of Loss Is So Intense...

[lovesasoldier]

you don't know how you will get through the next 5 seconds, let alone the next 5 minutes, or hours, days, weeks...

 

[Friday]

Honestly?

In no particular order (and these aren't all healthy):

- A lot of screaming & writhing
- completely numbing out (this one is very dangerous for me)
- beat the crap out of something (a heavy bag aka 70-100lb punching bag is nice)
- running or surfing
- cold water (swimming or shower)
- sex
- medication
- sleep (kind of a new one for me)

 

[mrsps]

I really cant answer your question but have a ((gentle hug)) for you

 

[Sighs]

Endure.

Repeat over and over to myself: "This too shall pass."

Many times in my life I have thought I could not possible endure a situation. Each time, it has passed. People have asked me later how I got through it. And I tell them that the sun kept coming up every morning. And so, it passed.

This will not lessen the agony in the moment, but like the moment, the agony too shall pass.

Good times will come again.

(BTW I am far from zen about life - sometimes the situation passes in blood, sweat and tears. But it passes.)

 

[scout86]

I pick a smaller number. If I can't do 5 seconds, I pick 3, if that's too much, I pick 1. I think I can handle anything for a second. You string enough seconds and things slowly get better.

I'm not going to list the really stupid stuff.

Rumor has it that sometimes it helps to talk about what's bothering you. You might also try that.

 

[In Exile]

My son died in my arms. There were days and nights of sheer hell.

The pain eventually does diminish over time.

It helped me by talking to others who had similar experiences. People who had also had terrible losses.

It is really, really hard. Your loss is terrible.

 

[scout86]

@In Exile , as inadequate as this is, I'm sorry for your loss and I appreciate the courage it takes, some times, to go on living. Thank you for sharing that.

 

[In Exile]

Lately has been really bad again, not just my son, but the whole PTSD. It's tough to put together good hours. When it gets really bad, it's tough to put together good minutes. Really tough and it's hard to put together seconds.

Then you focus everything on right now.

I meditate, although not as much as I should.

When it gets really bad, I focus everything on an object and trace the outline with my eyes.

That's how I survived growing up. I'd do that while my father abused me.

@lovesasoldier somethings work for some people and others for others. Do you find something which helps you?