What Do You Mean By "dissociation"?

[MisterCatLady]

Ever since joining this site I've been on different levels of confusion when reading posts about dissociation. I've always thought that words referred to a person losing chunks of time and not remembering entire chunks of their day. It appears some people just mean an advanced form of zoning out. It also appears that many of you mean different things. Could you tell me what your own personal definition of this word is? I don't want any of you to be worried about agreeing on a particular definition. It was like this on the PTSD Facebook group I was a member of also.

 

[joeylittle]

The example I always like to give is, you know how it's possible to drive a familiar route and one day realize that you don't really remember the trip itself? That's a form of dissociation. I took my pills (I think) the other day, and about 2 minutes later I could not remember if I'd taken my pills. I tried to go off of where the bottles were, where my water was...and hoped for the best. i couldn't remember taking them; Icouldn't remember not taking them - I simply couldn't remember the last 2 minutes at all. Also dissociation.

That's one end of the spectrum, the rather innocuous end that could definitely be described as "advanced zoning out".

When we talk about it in psych terms, it's usually a symptom associated with one or more disorders. So, as a symptom of PTSD, it is generally brought on by general stress or a specific trigger. Some people experience it rather mildly and can observe it in the form of depersonalization (feeling like you aren't in your body) or derealization (feeling like you aren't in the world around you). And as a symptom, because it's been caused by a trigger or stressor, it can be more challenging for the person to pull themselves back into full reality. This is Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, if it's happening all by itself; or, it can be a symptom of PTSD, Acute Stress Disorder...probably others)

(Personally, I experience this as a foggy, sleepy sensation, and I'm lucky in that I don't go anywhere or do anything; a bit like a robot that's been turned off.)

Deeper into the spectrum, lost time starts to be a problem; not as short or benign as the 'lost time' I described with taking my pills or driving somewhere, or even just 'shutting down' - but longer durations where you realize that you may have performed a series of actions, appearing fine - but you can't recall those actions at all. I understand that as Dissociative Amnesia, when it's stand-alone - or, again, as a symptom set of PTSD, and other disorders.

And next to that we have DID - dissociative identity disorder - where there is actually at least one (can be more) separate personality existing within the person, distinct from themselves, who acts during those times. That other personality (the alter) will have a memory of what transpired. This is most complicated because the individual is often very high functioning, and may or may not have an awareness of their alters. I think DID is always a stand-alone disorder, and can be co-morbid with PTSD - but I could be wrong about that.

DDNOS - dissociative disorder not otherwise specified - is what's left as a category for anyone who doesn't fit neatly into the other available classifications.

I very well might be missing some details in description - but that's my personal understanding of the Dissociation spectrum, based on personal experience and incorporating the traditional DSM categories.

 

[7Cs]

I dissociate in several ways. My primary way is kind of like a foggy tunnel vision where I stare off everything seems darker and foggier until it narrows into a small space of sharp contrast and clearness. I call this "becoming one" with the item or space I'm zoned in on. Sound also seems to dim. This usually doesn't last long. Other times I can walk around and everything seems a bit unreal like I'm dazed and off centered, I feel floaty. Usually during these times I feel dull mentally. Can't think clearly or understand well. Another is where I become stuck, unable to move or speak for a short period of time. During this my vision and thought processes are usually intact, I'm just unable to respond. There is also a dissociation from emotion that I experience where I feel numb. emotionless or even giddy when talking about traumatic events of my life. Finally, and I'm not certain that this is actual dissociation, I sometimes feel that I'm not in control of my words or action and I say, think and do things I usually wouldn't as if I were watching someone else take me over.

 

[7Cs]

The example I always like to give is, you know how it's possible to drive a familiar route and one d...

I also do something like this. Where I say something and forget and say it again a minute later just to have the person tell me that I had just said it. I often go through times that I forget to take my medication and am not sure how often I've bathed or when I've eaten. Not sure how much of this is forgetfulness and how much is dissociation.

 

[Friday]

Disassociation (including derealization & depersonalization) is a spectrum. From normal daydreaming or driving on "autopilot" on one end of the spectrum... All the way to DID on the other end of the spectrum.

It's a huge spectrum, that means many different things to many different people. I consider it very much like the word "dinner". Is dinner a yogurt or 12 course feast? Something eaten daily, or once a week? Something eaten at a specific time, or whenever? Eaten by oneself or in company? Something chewed & swallowed, or drank, or injected? Yes. Dinner can be all of those things.

When I'm talking about my own disassociation, or dinner, it very much depends... As I've got my own personal spectrum inside of the much larger spectrum.

 

[Enaila]

I agree with @joeylittle whose descriptions are right on. For me, when I am startled into dissociation by a loud sudden noise, I can sometimes hear the person talking to me, but can not respond and I am usually just hearing gibberish like a tv program playing in another room. This can go on for a couple minutes I have been told if I am state of fight or flight. When I finally feel "intact" again I am usually confused for a minute about where I am and my stomach is hurting from adrenaline.

Then there are the lovely flashbacks....during flashbacks I feel like I am in the place where the trauma happened. I hear, smell, see, and feel what I did during the trauma. It is always vivid and each time I have a particular flashback the details become clearer. If it is a new flashback or one of my most traumatic memories, I go completely still and for whatever reason, I look up to the right. I lose track of the current time and place. My physical self in the present time is just a shell usually sitting there.

If I catch the flashback soon enough or know I am going to be around triggers, the scene from the flashback overlays the current scene I am in. Kind of like those transparent pictures of angels on top of scenery. If someone talks to me during a flashback, I can sometimes respond if I haven't disassociated, though I respond in a different verb tense as if the trauma is the present tense. The therapist has been able to help me learn grounding techniques and if she has triggered flashback, she guides me through it, by having me describe where I am and what I am seeing. This has cut down on the dissociation I used to have as now I will try to self talk to stay present.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

For me, the different types of dissociation feel really, really different.

The lower end of the spectrum is actually more disturbing in a day-to-day sense. It's something that I will notice and react to. Feeling unreal, feeling disconnected, feeling like I'm zoning in and out, feeling like I'm losing track of the day-to-day, feeling like the world isn't real. Those are all really uncomfortable feelings for me that make me feel crazy.

The upper end? Amnesia can be really hard to spot, even though it sounds more dramatic, and it's easier for me to just not notice it than derealization or depersonalization. I actually find amnesia MORE comfortable than knowing. And identity confusion and alteration? For those of us with them, we've lived this way for so long (usually our whole lives, as the trauma required to produce dissociated identities occurs as really young children) that we don't even notice at first. I'm horrified how many decades I've lived as a multiple without even knowing it.

 

[Deleted member 541]

The driving thing..... yup, I do that all the time. The other time, is when my BFF calls and starts talking about her narcissistic husband, I start zoning out, and don't remember much of what she says.

 

[MisterCatLady]

The driving thing..... yup, I do that all the time. The other time, is when my BFF calls and starts tal...

I do that. When someone starts talking and/or complaining about something that reminds me of my abusive past I zone out. Today I was talking to my mother and I kept having to zone out because she's the same person she was back then.

 

[BlueOrange]

In its simplest form, 'association' is when things connect to each other. 'Dissociation' is disconnecting things, breaking their associations. "I'm not talking to you anymore" is a very common form of dissociation between people, when it occurs between parts of the same person, it can be a bad thing.

 

[GANNI]

I have learned to anticipate triggers especially to prepare in advance if discussing any trauma events. By doing a series of exercises and first stabilizing my nervius system i can then be in charge of how i present my facts. While using awareness and body checks i can feel dissociation as it is occuring. I will then say to the interviewer please kets pause. It emoiwers me to regain my breath drink some cild water and regain a feeling if presence. In this way my episodes are more manageable . After more tgen a decade of misleading diagnosis it was up to me to find a way of coping. Usibg body awareness and grounding techniques do work. The challenge for me is being patient while my strengths return.

 

[Sara Welch]

The example I always like to give is, you know how it's possible to drive a familiar route and one d...

Great explanation.