What Do You Think Of Being Mental Healthy As We Can Be Vs 'recovery'?

[Tinyflame]

Just thinking out loud and looking for opinions. I'm all for mental health recovery- or so I thought (bear with me if you can, some of this may be semantics). But something came to me; logically, 1. ptsd is not curable at this point (but manageable, if all goes well), 2. I have been physically ill, have chronic pain, but neither determines my happiness, and 3. I've helped many others by doing what is counter-intuitive, or counter-intuitively responding (compared to what experts say you 'should' do (with the caveat 'within reason'/ when I feel it a better/ best choice, eg forgiveness/ kindness ) ) .

Could it be, that the concept of 'recovery' could hold us back? Rather, (just speaking for myself), accepting the ptsd 'as is' (as I do my bad back/ shoulders etc, or eg a cancer diagnosis etc, if I get one), doing the best to manage it (but not looking for recovery- but peace, joy, productivity & being comfortable in my own skin & a being half-decent person being more my goals, personally).

Because before I accepted ptsd as the cause, & frankly even after, I've always loved a lot, etc. And worked on other things not specifically related to my mental health but felt better, stronger- happy- when I did.

Not just a question of my identity being influenced by ptsd, but rather, maybe it's better for myself to think, "OK so I'm a little 'crazy' (no offence meant- for me it kind of applies, lol), but it's just 'me'. Me who is also loving/ annoying/ stubborn/ patient/ kind/ big hearted (I've been told)/ introspective/ loves dancing & starlight/ & dogs & babies eats cookies & salads/ has a bad temper/ doesn't hold grudges/ melts down sometimes etc etc etc"?

Like @Recovery4Me said, paraphrasing, "we do have beautiful hearts & souls, despite pain?"

What do you think? What if we viewed it as we do our physical stuff? And carry on, & accommodate? (Leave some of the questions & baggage behind?)

 

[Atomic]

Junebug, I think that's a great way to accept it. It is, and always will be part of you just like the colour of your eyes. Like a physical ailment that anybody has from time to time you manage it when needed.

 

[Sideways]

I really like the 'acceptance' that you seem to be describing there - the idea that "it ain't pretty, but a lot of this is just who I am now, and that's ok". But I'm thinking maybe you're underestimating/minimising (choose your fancy therapy term!) how much healing it's probably taken just to get you to the point where you can allow yourself to consider 'acceptance' as a possible goal in itself.

For me (since this is just opinions:) ), I know that there's a whole lotta stuff, behavioural, cognitive, brain physiology etc, that, at some point, I'm going to have to make peace with, accept, and find the strength to carry on through the world taking all that yuck with me.

Some of it, with time and therapy, I can improve on - like we can manage diabetes, but we can't cure it, you have it for life whether you like it or not. The struggle for me, at the moment, is it still feels too painful to do that. I'm not ready to accept what happened in the past, let alone embrace the changes/damage it's caused that I will need to carry into the future.

So if this were diabetes, there is a period I think you need to go through - coming to terms with insulin, learning altered diets and lifestyle - and I think that's where I'm at, relearning how to live.

But no matter how much therapy I have, or how many meds I take, there will never be a time when I am recovered enough that my trauma "didn't happen". It's part of my past, and part of me. At some point, ultimately, I hope to be able to accept that, and move on in life in anyway...

But I'm pre-morning coffee, so maybe I'm a little off:bored:

 

[intothelight]

@Junebug I could like your post a MILLION times!!!

Sometimes I get too worried about "how" I am and analyze things to death; but in all honesty, mental illness is just that....an illness. We get better and there are times we have flair ups, but it doesn't change our character or who we are. I am learning to just be OK with who I am and enjoying life.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you everyone for your replies. Yes I don't think it infers forgetting or ignoring trauma past, & does get some getting used to.

I imagine just as for other illnesses or facts,not only do those changes take some getting used to, but usually the changes are done to slow down or stop further damage, like with Diabetes, or to make the most of time left, or because if not done it's intolerable.

I do think it's a larger, constant battle than some things, but the fact is it's there, what proportion of importance we assign it becomes our choice. I think, being hard & nearly-constant to battle on some levels, it's easy to confuse that large amount of time & energy etc needed as therefore defining a large proportion of who we are.

ETA, like today, I couldn't make out if some singing was in Englsh or not. Not my norm, but likely if cognitively not-registering I figured probably "a complication". I didn't panic though- not like I was going to get a test on it, or work-related. I just shrugged it off.

 

[Recovery4Me]

but not looking for recovery- but peace, joy, productivity & being comfortable in my own skin & a being half-decent person being more my goals, personally).

Kudos to your thread and your self acceptance. (((hugs))) Many of us have struggled to be free of shame or shame based behaviors. However as those ear marks of PTSD Symptoms ebb and flow...I still find hope through members such as yourself that stand up to be openly counted. There is freedom in truth and those multiple takes on that truth shared by our members among the board as well as those suffering that we can embrace in real life.

Awareness, moving forward, embracing our strengths, coming together in compassion under a commonality, is what many have only dreamed, sung or written about such as John Lennon in the song- Imagine. And yet here we are, with labels galore accomplishing those very things, contributing to components that enhance a safe, compassionate virtual world...for one heart at a time. This embrace for me comes with, into my 3-D Realm, therapy sessions, bolsters my courage to have discussions with my family, which for me is part of optimizing my mental health within illness. Sometimes, that is recovery enough to feel within that moment that I can thrive despite the pit-stops or horrors of PTSD. We are more than our diagnosis...(((hugs)))

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, I think so, & hope so, @Recovery4Me . In some ways I might have had the same core without ptsd, & I don't think in any way it's a blessing (uncontrolled it's a curse), but it's probably lead to some realizations at a younger age than would have transpired without it.

Also too, the 'curse' part, well there are so many variety of things people have to deal with, I figure this is part of mine/ ours. But like you said, the bright spot is the love, care, kindness, support, acceptance & encouragement & patience of one another. ( :hug: 's.) I think what sets ptsd apart is that one way or another, it involves 'happenings'-, interpersonal or otherwise, and death or violence or harm (to body/ mind/ heart & soul), or the certainty of it, sustained or singularly.Trauma, of course. For some there is a 'before', for others not. I think a protective factor is support, but it's also 'protective' I think post-ptsd to have such kindness. The 'intangibles', really. Because even a laugh or a moment of peace can be precious when you're struggling.

 

[Melissa D]

Thanks for this conversation! At one point or another, each of us have pondered this theory, especially those of us who have been recovering for a long time. It is always hard to accept oneself, without the added struggles of mental health issues or having a history of victimization When I finally reached the point of accepting that "I am who I am" I did feel a certain freedom that had not existed before.

I think there is something to be said for labeling what causes each of us to behave in certain ways. The label most certainly helps to identify and understand the causes and what needs to to occur for healing, but when is the time to "remove" the label? When does it no longer benefit "the labeled"? How do each of us identify that we have reached a point in our healing where, we identify that certain behaviors would not exist had we not had those experiences and accept them for what they are? Personally I think it is very important to recognize these milestones and praise ourselves for the resilience we have exhibited. I think knowing that we will always be "recovering" from our experiences is understood. But we also understand that every interaction we have changes us, whether it is a positive or negative interaction.

 

[Tinyflame]

I suppose labels perhaps should remain as an applicable fact (by way of reality or explanation), if it is so (though I don't like the name label, maybe diagnosis?). But do you ever notice there aren't many positive labels? Even the labels are usually grossly misunderstood, or not much info about them. Or the connotation is so negative- think of Cancer vs Diabetes, yet that's not necessarily indicative of reality, eg Type 1 Diabetes is deadly, & has far more complications such as heart attack, stroke, coma, amputation, than many types of cancer, esp something like basal cell skin cancer, eg.

Of course ptsd colors so many facets of our 'living'. as does victimization, self esteem, our history, our thought patterns. But too, our beliefs, our likes/ dislikes, our tolerances or passions, our personalities & nature, our pain resilience & support,. Etc. For those able their goals & dreams.

I think if the ptsd is the result of (x), but now it's there, I have no choice but to deal with it 'there'. No matter how much I look back it won't alter that. So I am for processing, but not expecting 'miracles'. If anything gets 'resurrected' it would have to be a new form of me/ this, because the old is not possible.

 

[jaccat]

This made think of something T said not long after I started seeing her-

"We're not here to make you better. We're here to make you well."

 

[The Albatross]

So far as the thread title... if it makes a difference that is generally beneficial for you then why not. Me... I like "recovery" cuz it reminds me that healing is a process and longer term or a lifetime. It doesn't bum me out or anything, it just reminds me in a way that I personally find motivating.

 

[The Albatross]

Might not be just semantics by the way but over thinking... just sayin' as that is direct and personal experience... while you're on this, what are you avoiding or being unwilling to address/engage?

It could be too that YOUR concept of "recovery" is holding you back and that is what periodic and regular self examination is for.