What do your flashbacks look like to others?

[Maou]

^This does not sound like a flashback. It sounds more like a temper flare tbh..

Its not a flash back in the traditional sense. Its an emotional one. I got cptsd. The anger can last for hours over nothing.

 

[Eliza]

I tend to just go a bit quiet. Start fidgeting a bit to try and ground myself. But if it’s really intense, I will sometimes need to leave the room afterwards to calm down, and then it will just look like a panic attack because I was shaken by the event and be shaking and crying. Usually sat on the floor as physically being on the ground helps me feel more grounded.
It’s an interesting question because there have been times when I have had such intense flashbacks and felt so bad that I can’t believe nobody notices. But I think just because I’m sat still and quiet, I just look like I’m concentrating.

 

[blackemerald1]

The anger can last for hours over nothing.

^If it's not a flashback then it's not a flashback. :oops:

To me @Maou - an emotional anger outburst that lasts for hours is just that.

Don't want to derail this thread re this sorry OP. So @Maou if you want to discuss this aspect of your cptsd have you considered starting a thread on this? :)

 

[Maou]

^If it's not a flashback then it's not a flashback. :oops:

To me @Maou - an emotional anger outburst that lasts for hours is just that.

Don't want to derail this thread re this sorry OP. So @Maou if you want to discuss this aspect of your cptsd have you considered starting a thread on this? :)

Uh, idk but this is what I was talking about that I pulled off google. I am not very good at describing or explaining things.

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

 

[blackemerald1]

The anger can last for hours over nothing.

^I've not heard of a flashback lasting hours. Perhaps you were meaning disassociation?

In any case - if you believe it was a flashback are you following the list of points Pete Walker suggests for regaining some comfort and control? There is a lot in that article but nothing I can see that extends to ongoing, protracted periods of anger.

I hope you are getting help for this. I note that in another thread you discussed that you also had moments of road rage. That's a lot of anger going on so again I hope you are getting some good assistance aside from articles on the internet.

 

[Maou]

^I've not heard of a flashback lasting hours. Perhaps you were meaning disassociation?

In any case - if you believe it was a flashback are you following the list of points Pete Walker suggests for regaining some comfort and control? There is a lot in that article but nothing I can see that extends to ongoing, protracted periods of anger.

I hope you are getting help for this. I note that in another thread you discussed that you also had moments of road rage. That's a lot of anger going on so again I hope you are getting some good assistance aside from articles on the internet.

Yeah, I am in therapy. I figured it was just a lack of properly communicating on my part. I am rather new to this whole thing, as I only got diagnosed a few weeks ago. I thought I had bipolar for a while. So sorry if my understanding isnt proper. Anyways, the reason why I get prolong periods of anger, is due to emotional dysregulation and rumination? If I recall correctly, its like my brain does one thing, and my emotions are stuck in the past and overwhelmed. My past caused me to have a lot anger, but not know how to deal with it. The emotions involved are not the same for everyone. IT is specific to your type of abuse.

 

[Friday]

I've not heard of a flashback lasting hours.

Mine have, and often do.

I’ll walk around smelling smoke, or CLP, or JP5, or burning sewage, etc. for hooooours. Drives me spare. Especially when it’s somehing I could reasonably be smelling, now, like certain kinds of smoke (it smells like an electrical fire up in this bitch, is a lot more concerning than smelling pop smoke). I have to chase all over the house/building/etc. trying to figure out if something is actually burning, hands along walls feeling for heat, or if it’s just a flashback. Some of the unreasonable ones, meanwhile, like burning bodies? I’ve had to actually sit myself down and explain to myself that the neighbors may be BBQ’ing, but they most certainly gutted and cleaned whatever it was, first, rather than cooking up a steaming mess of entrails and shit and blood for dinner :wtf: Makes no sense, right? And yet I’ve had to talk very sternly to myself to keep from popping off at the neighbors. It’s not them. They’re not making this smell. It’s not them. It’s me. <<< I carry camphor around with me in my bag, not because I need it for real life, but because it’s distractingly strong when past lives start calling.

Tooth pain is another one thay drives me batty, because it could be I’ve actually broken a tooth, or have a wicked sinus infection coming on, or phantom pain (it’s not a whole limb, but I can frequently feeeeeeel parts of my mouth that simply aren’t there & my tongue confirms nope that piece of my jaw is still gone), or flashback. So I have to source that business out. Upside? If my teeth are fine, and it’s not missing parts of my mouth, and my sinuses are clear? That particular flashback tends to herald 2-3 weeks of symptom spikes coming hard and fast. So as long as I’m physically able I can start to bleed stress like a motherf*cker, take time off for a planned isolation instead of a reactive one, etc.

I have no idea how much of my emotional dysregulation is flashback driven, or A-Z. I suspect it’s mostly from other sources, but? I know that I’ve woken up from a flashback style dream (this is where nightmares belong! In bed! Asleep!) with no emotions. Which is exactly the place I was operating out of, at the time. That one lasted a few weeks. Other times I’ll be all but knocked down by a firestorm of rage, that I DO need to lay down, close my eyes, and just let it burn itself out (or bad things happen). That’s hours at the least, and has lasted days. A much shorter run is when a multisense movie style flashback happens (moments, of that, usually) and 1 or more senses carry on even after the rest quit. “Stragglers” usually persist for a few minutes up to maybe an hour or so.

Emotional dysregulation is tricky as hell...hell emotions themselves are tricky. But it makes sense that if I can smell smoke for no reason? I can feel things for no reason, too.

 

[blackemerald1]

I understand what you are describing Friday - your senses smell, pain etc. = flashback to a historical event/trauma.

I too have this. But there's a trigger. I'm not always aware of the trigger but generally I can figure it out.

I was responding to @Maou re anger 'over nothing' .

I consider people that are raging or angry for hours to be experiencing an unregulated emotional outburst - especially if as Maou suggested 'over nothing'. If there is no trigger... eg.. smell, sound etc.. then becoming angry, for no apparent reason and sustaining that for hours doesn't sound like a flashback.

Is it ok to blame rage and anger on a flashback? Does this open the door to every defence barrister's wet dream? "I'm sorry your honour I did it whilst I was in the throws of a flashback, therefore I never intended to do xzy?"

But, I don't know sh*t and I'm off topic again. :oops: