NewGirl280
New Here
I am curious what others therapy sessions look like ? What types of things do you do/discuss?
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What do your therapy sessions look like ?
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
I discuss anything and everything, whatever is front and center and needs resolution.
P
Past present future
Sometimes we work on trauma via emdr. Other times we do “talk therapy”. I hate those days. I think those conversations are harder than trauma work. I’m a year in, but we spent much of the first 6 months learning self care and coping skills to use during emdr.
somerandomguy
VIP Member
I used to just sit and talk about whatever was on my mind or whatever was happening. Very unfocused, and it honestly didn't help me very much.
Ever since I started a trauma diary, I have been MUCH more focused about the things I'm working on (or know I have to work on) so I go armed with a list, or, more usually, entries from my diary. More focus = more help, at least for me.
Ever since I started a trauma diary, I have been MUCH more focused about the things I'm working on (or know I have to work on) so I go armed with a list, or, more usually, entries from my diary. More focus = more help, at least for me.
for me I see therapy as something that I need to deal with developmental phases that I either dissociated from or sped them up or lingered in them unnecessary. In short, I am in therapy to deal with the past not the present as I do not have crisis or health issues BUT obviously whatever that got settled in the past impacts my personality and behaviour so I need to have some connection to the present...hence the trauma I carried.
What I am not in therapy is how to make a particular relationship work. I am not in relationship with my mother. I am in it about how to integrate my past and present and make a cohesive narrative self story. I am a bit fragmented now. So I do not go there chit chatting about my husband but I do chit chat if something is bothering me in such like: My husband said this and wow I caught myself taking over and realize...wait it out and let him do it for himself or why am I taking over. What I do not do is like my husband said this and I am in therapy to figure it out. I am good talking and relating. I am not good at seeing myself as truly I am or how others perceive me. I am harsh on myself. I use a lot of subtle primitive defenses that obviously worked for me so far but are heavy on the psyche and energy.
I am giving you this background so you may understand how I frame myself in therapy. Another thing I also frame is I focus on me and my feelings and reactions not what others think or said or thought or want from me. For example if a friend does not email me back, I focus on my feelings about that not about her or whys or whatever. It is like why am I anxious about this? why do I care so much? Is this reminding me of something else that really bothered me in the past? Who else did this to me that it became such a wound? all of sudden I am not thinking about the friend.
In therapy I focus the first 18yrs of my life with my mother and what happened. Because I dissociated from 18yrs old and literally created a new life as an adult, I focus on that and what happened to make sense of my foundation.
I also keep track of my dreams for 40yrs so I share my dreams in therapy a lot and I try to explore and find a meaning for myself.
When therapist is pushing my buttons, I dream a lot of intrusive dreams. When I am healing, I dream a lot of weddings and the words love or names of people are clear...it is weird.
I focus on personality traits and the therapy alliance which I consider not like intimate marriage like but more like space - safe space where I can breakdown and feel safe. I tell my therapist if I am angry it is not directly at him and I want to work around it in the space (the alliance the relationship in therapy). If I feel splitting or acting out or whatever again it is not directed at him...even if i think he triggered it. I tell him this before it happens and after it happens. I want to express anger toward you because of what you said but I know logically it is my anger and something arising from the past but I need to express it here and now in this space. I tell him I respect him as my therapist but what he did or said or whatever was uncalled for and yet I feel it is not really here but I have to almost sounds like pretending. I know it is crazy way of dissecting therapy but I need to make sure there is transference and then there is here and now. Therapist is allowing me to talk about sensitive things so much, I fell into that experience and he should not be surprised if my abused inner child wants to protect herself cause now I am adult experiencing being neglected or poked or ignored or abused brutally...or I am a young child watching others my siblings being abused. It is nasty space but it is safe space....something I could not do anywhere else even with my husband cause I would not want him to see me like this and feel powerless to help me because he is not trained professionally in this sort of thing.
a fight with my husband is here and now for us. Cause he is fighting with me. A fight with therapist is hardly here and now unless the therapist lost his or her professionalims. So if dishes are not put in the dishwasher, I am not blowing up like my husband slapped me like my mom did!!!!! all these require I distinguish what is from the past and what is here and eventually much of these become automatic. it sounds a lot because I am doing something (or did) manually where a healthier person learned as a child.
On the other hand, if I blow up on therapist, it truly means my inner child is speaking through me as an adult because I am experiencing that pain in the here and now and the therapist (IMHO) must stay neutral and not take it personal!
In my therapy, I acknowledge when I act like a child and when I think I am acting like an adult....so I learn the difference. I acknowledge this and not expect the therapist to point out cause they never do!!!!
Therapy does not heal. The person heals. I can be a brat and an adult within the hour. I should mention I do psycho-dynamic psychotherapy.
They said there is you and he/she and then the relationship in every relationship. I also watch myself reacting to my husband and note if this is a change...no high intensity or inappropriately low intensity, this is how I know I am healing. For example, if I start to hate or love the therapist. I start focusing on the "hate" or "love" part not the therapist part. then I investigate that feeling in others or other situations. if I see myself hating innate things like work tasks or driving or whatever I note. If I see myself loving others or trees or work tasks, i note. And I share these with my therapist.
I find sometimes the therapists love mentioning any feeling toward them and want to push it further but I am aware of this (which means I am here and now by then not in the past...) and I just usually inform my therapist. I know you think I literally hate you but the person I really hate is my mother and it is possible I am just globalizing that feeling and including you because you are here with me right now when I was re-experiencing that pain. Whenever a therapist focuses my feelings toward them, it is a signal, this is a feeling I take outside world and not good!
The goal of successful therapy is actually you see the therapist separate from you. one can easily and deeply separate the past from the present. In my case, I am married to a great man and have a great supportive marriage so I had a lot of growing up, maturing and healing prior to therapy so this differentiation of (past and present) helps me in therapy too.
Do not get me wrong, I do still fall into deep negative transference of when I was like 1 or 2 yrs old where I am completely in sort of psychosis but I do not resist. I contain and stay and be very grateful I have safe space to work it through. I hate this and I get anxiety sometimes that I may not get out of it and lose my job or be too moody or go insane...but I also always acknowledge how grateful I am to experience this again and see it for what it is. and usually I see it different than it is in my body and I start to have empathy for my mother and my child side for going through this together. IMHO, it is dangerous to be in trauma therapy and not have outside support. I do not know how others do it but I think I would not be able to go through intense healing without having outside world to reflect, to try out, for support, for love and for being taken care of. I do not know how others do this kind of work without a village to support. That is why I recommend group therapy often because one needs a lot of compassion and empathy to heal. I have group therapy too every other week to reflect to share what my therapist say to have 360 degrees of love and relationships. This way I know I am going the right direction. Therapists are human who are working and using mainly the left side of their brain and I am healing my right side so I have to take bigger precaution about my healing than them.
This is long response. but if you want to know what I say in session, it is more or less. I feel difficult even though I am not difficult and I go on and on until I reach another topic or find why I am difficult. I may start with like I have been feeling lately sort of depressed and I do not know and I will yapppp until I find the whys. He may ask a question here and there and I take that as if he is seeing things I do not or if it is his opinion about something I said. I may ask him to clarify more simple terms or it is very clear and I go ooh yeah maybe or NO! Usually if I say fast NO...that is an indication to me, I am not seeing what he is seeing so I keep that in mind for future walking the dog and self exploring.
PS. I do not want to underestimate how often I have strong, crazy feelings toward my therapist where I want to change, swithc, call in sick but i note all these feelings and contain them rather than "turn them off" as I used to in the past...push them down to my body and end up with somatics. I go through many of these and always grateful when the cloud is gone. and know another one will come and I will have to soldier through it again.
Hope this helps. if confused ask me directly and I can clarify.
Wishing you all well.
What I am not in therapy is how to make a particular relationship work. I am not in relationship with my mother. I am in it about how to integrate my past and present and make a cohesive narrative self story. I am a bit fragmented now. So I do not go there chit chatting about my husband but I do chit chat if something is bothering me in such like: My husband said this and wow I caught myself taking over and realize...wait it out and let him do it for himself or why am I taking over. What I do not do is like my husband said this and I am in therapy to figure it out. I am good talking and relating. I am not good at seeing myself as truly I am or how others perceive me. I am harsh on myself. I use a lot of subtle primitive defenses that obviously worked for me so far but are heavy on the psyche and energy.
I am giving you this background so you may understand how I frame myself in therapy. Another thing I also frame is I focus on me and my feelings and reactions not what others think or said or thought or want from me. For example if a friend does not email me back, I focus on my feelings about that not about her or whys or whatever. It is like why am I anxious about this? why do I care so much? Is this reminding me of something else that really bothered me in the past? Who else did this to me that it became such a wound? all of sudden I am not thinking about the friend.
In therapy I focus the first 18yrs of my life with my mother and what happened. Because I dissociated from 18yrs old and literally created a new life as an adult, I focus on that and what happened to make sense of my foundation.
I also keep track of my dreams for 40yrs so I share my dreams in therapy a lot and I try to explore and find a meaning for myself.
When therapist is pushing my buttons, I dream a lot of intrusive dreams. When I am healing, I dream a lot of weddings and the words love or names of people are clear...it is weird.
I focus on personality traits and the therapy alliance which I consider not like intimate marriage like but more like space - safe space where I can breakdown and feel safe. I tell my therapist if I am angry it is not directly at him and I want to work around it in the space (the alliance the relationship in therapy). If I feel splitting or acting out or whatever again it is not directed at him...even if i think he triggered it. I tell him this before it happens and after it happens. I want to express anger toward you because of what you said but I know logically it is my anger and something arising from the past but I need to express it here and now in this space. I tell him I respect him as my therapist but what he did or said or whatever was uncalled for and yet I feel it is not really here but I have to almost sounds like pretending. I know it is crazy way of dissecting therapy but I need to make sure there is transference and then there is here and now. Therapist is allowing me to talk about sensitive things so much, I fell into that experience and he should not be surprised if my abused inner child wants to protect herself cause now I am adult experiencing being neglected or poked or ignored or abused brutally...or I am a young child watching others my siblings being abused. It is nasty space but it is safe space....something I could not do anywhere else even with my husband cause I would not want him to see me like this and feel powerless to help me because he is not trained professionally in this sort of thing.
a fight with my husband is here and now for us. Cause he is fighting with me. A fight with therapist is hardly here and now unless the therapist lost his or her professionalims. So if dishes are not put in the dishwasher, I am not blowing up like my husband slapped me like my mom did!!!!! all these require I distinguish what is from the past and what is here and eventually much of these become automatic. it sounds a lot because I am doing something (or did) manually where a healthier person learned as a child.
On the other hand, if I blow up on therapist, it truly means my inner child is speaking through me as an adult because I am experiencing that pain in the here and now and the therapist (IMHO) must stay neutral and not take it personal!
In my therapy, I acknowledge when I act like a child and when I think I am acting like an adult....so I learn the difference. I acknowledge this and not expect the therapist to point out cause they never do!!!!
Therapy does not heal. The person heals. I can be a brat and an adult within the hour. I should mention I do psycho-dynamic psychotherapy.
They said there is you and he/she and then the relationship in every relationship. I also watch myself reacting to my husband and note if this is a change...no high intensity or inappropriately low intensity, this is how I know I am healing. For example, if I start to hate or love the therapist. I start focusing on the "hate" or "love" part not the therapist part. then I investigate that feeling in others or other situations. if I see myself hating innate things like work tasks or driving or whatever I note. If I see myself loving others or trees or work tasks, i note. And I share these with my therapist.
I find sometimes the therapists love mentioning any feeling toward them and want to push it further but I am aware of this (which means I am here and now by then not in the past...) and I just usually inform my therapist. I know you think I literally hate you but the person I really hate is my mother and it is possible I am just globalizing that feeling and including you because you are here with me right now when I was re-experiencing that pain. Whenever a therapist focuses my feelings toward them, it is a signal, this is a feeling I take outside world and not good!
The goal of successful therapy is actually you see the therapist separate from you. one can easily and deeply separate the past from the present. In my case, I am married to a great man and have a great supportive marriage so I had a lot of growing up, maturing and healing prior to therapy so this differentiation of (past and present) helps me in therapy too.
Do not get me wrong, I do still fall into deep negative transference of when I was like 1 or 2 yrs old where I am completely in sort of psychosis but I do not resist. I contain and stay and be very grateful I have safe space to work it through. I hate this and I get anxiety sometimes that I may not get out of it and lose my job or be too moody or go insane...but I also always acknowledge how grateful I am to experience this again and see it for what it is. and usually I see it different than it is in my body and I start to have empathy for my mother and my child side for going through this together. IMHO, it is dangerous to be in trauma therapy and not have outside support. I do not know how others do it but I think I would not be able to go through intense healing without having outside world to reflect, to try out, for support, for love and for being taken care of. I do not know how others do this kind of work without a village to support. That is why I recommend group therapy often because one needs a lot of compassion and empathy to heal. I have group therapy too every other week to reflect to share what my therapist say to have 360 degrees of love and relationships. This way I know I am going the right direction. Therapists are human who are working and using mainly the left side of their brain and I am healing my right side so I have to take bigger precaution about my healing than them.
This is long response. but if you want to know what I say in session, it is more or less. I feel difficult even though I am not difficult and I go on and on until I reach another topic or find why I am difficult. I may start with like I have been feeling lately sort of depressed and I do not know and I will yapppp until I find the whys. He may ask a question here and there and I take that as if he is seeing things I do not or if it is his opinion about something I said. I may ask him to clarify more simple terms or it is very clear and I go ooh yeah maybe or NO! Usually if I say fast NO...that is an indication to me, I am not seeing what he is seeing so I keep that in mind for future walking the dog and self exploring.
PS. I do not want to underestimate how often I have strong, crazy feelings toward my therapist where I want to change, swithc, call in sick but i note all these feelings and contain them rather than "turn them off" as I used to in the past...push them down to my body and end up with somatics. I go through many of these and always grateful when the cloud is gone. and know another one will come and I will have to soldier through it again.
Hope this helps. if confused ask me directly and I can clarify.
Wishing you all well.
- Post starter
- #6
NewGirl280
New Here
Thanks for sharing all!
Do you guys work on things like guided imagery or things like that to help you during the week ?
We don’t do a lot of chit chatting - but talk about how the week went and then imagery things to help process the week and make next time easier.
Do you guys work on things like guided imagery or things like that to help you during the week ?
We don’t do a lot of chit chatting - but talk about how the week went and then imagery things to help process the week and make next time easier.
What do you mean by next time? Next time in therapy or next time between therapy?
In my group therapy, we do mindfulness, guided breathing, drawing and expressing our feelings in emphatic ways. In my one on one therapy, it is talk therapy only.
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MyWillow
Platinum Member
My T reads me like a book as I walk in the door. No matter how well I try to present. If I’m struggling we try to start by focussing on the GOOD things that are happening before diving into current stressors. We have completely stopped discussing my childhood as I was dissociating at the drop of a hat, forgetting a lot of the session and having dissociative flashbacks.
Even now I struggle to stay grounded if we are discussing current family tensions, nightmares or flashback experiences. I just end up in a kind of collapsed state which she draws me out of by returning the conversation to my dogs or work etc. Sometimes we do safe place imagery but I have a tendency to dissociate. Breathing exercises sometimes help but sometimes fill me with panic.
My T does equine assisted therapy (EAGALA qualified) and wants to switch in some equine sessions as I really am stuck at the moment. Very symptomatic and trying so hard to calm my system. It’s all a bit confusing really as I can’t recall much of growing up.
Even now I struggle to stay grounded if we are discussing current family tensions, nightmares or flashback experiences. I just end up in a kind of collapsed state which she draws me out of by returning the conversation to my dogs or work etc. Sometimes we do safe place imagery but I have a tendency to dissociate. Breathing exercises sometimes help but sometimes fill me with panic.
My T does equine assisted therapy (EAGALA qualified) and wants to switch in some equine sessions as I really am stuck at the moment. Very symptomatic and trying so hard to calm my system. It’s all a bit confusing really as I can’t recall much of growing up.
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