Relationship What Does "i'm Feeling Bad" Mean To You???

[Deleted member 38137]

Ok, so I'm "getting it" more but I'm still trying to get the "I'm feeling bad" thing. When I feel bad, I want reassurance, love and a shoulder to cry on. Or bitch to. Lol.

The Vet says "I'm feeling bad" and won't talk much after. Unless I'm in front of his face and then I feel like he's OBLIGED to talk to me. But if I'm absent, he's absent.

What's a girl to do???

This PTSD dating thing is HARD. Because if it was a "normal" guy I would be like "yeah, whatever" but I don't know how to interpret things sometimes.

As either a sufferer or a supporter, do you have any words of advice???

 

[Deleted member 541]

When he says, "I'm feeling bad". That should be your clue to let him be. And getting in his face isn't going to help. Actually you might get more, "I'm feeling bad" kind of statements.....

 

[MisterCatLady]

When i say "I'm feeling bad" that means I'm losing control and I might be weird for a bit. I just need someone to sit with me, talk about something light, check in with me from time to time, just allow me to be and not judge me. Sometimes I say "I'm having bad thoughts" and my friend will say "talk to me". And I'll say what I can and that's always enough.

 

[Sweetpea76]

When my vet says he isn't feeling well, I have to ask if he means physically... most of the time "I'm feeling bad" means "I'm feeling bad mentally/emotionally".

Just think of it as symptomatic, because that's what it means. His PTSD symptoms are bad. Comforting, helping and talking don't help PTSD symptoms. Understanding and patience do.

 

[Sighs]

When my vet says "I feel bad" that usually means he is feeling passively suicidal. :cry:

Comforting, helping and talking don't help PTSD symptoms.

^^^ Hard to get your head around but true.

Think of it like he's drowning and you want to have a conversation with him. He can't talk right now - he needs every ounce of energy to keep from going under.

 

[Tinyflame]

For me, it's as @MisterCatLady said. And means 'very bad'. And the physical symptoms would be the least of it, since it also likely would include or nearly include suicidal ideation; definitely highly symptomatic, progressing, and worsening . And exactly this :

Think of it like he's drowning ... - he needs every ounce of energy to keep from going under.

is how it feels to me.

ETA, a period of recovery helps me. Total continuing isolation it worsens.

 

[Newtoptsd]

When my vet says 'I'm feeling bad' or 'I'm not well today' I know he's struggling so I usually leave him be and don't press him on the matter. Sometimes he doesn't mind talking or engaging with me but it has to be super light hearted and even then I can tell he's fairly vacant and sometimes spaces out!

It's all just a case of getting used to it, just like in any form of relationship you learn the ins and outs of people :)

 

[dulcia]

Mine has his own version of an "I'm feeling bad" statement and that means he is usually in or near being in a not quite escalated but hyper aroused kind of mood. I usually just ask if there is anything I can do to help (usually no, sometimes he will say yes but it is something unreasonable or not feasible at the moment). I will remind him I'm here, tell him I hope he has a good day, and then quit poke poke poking.

 

[Deleted member 38137]

When he says, "I'm feeling bad". That should be your clue to let him be. And getting in his face isn't g...

I didn't mean that I get in his face. I meant more if I am over his house and in the same room. I'm pretty good at leaving people alone. I work 55 hours a week so I'm really not around him that often. Even if I spend the weekend with him, I go find things to do like go shopping or go in the bedroom and read. Or I take naps. I'm tired. I work a lot. lol

 

[Deleted member 38137]

When i say "I'm feeling bad" that means I'm losing control and I might be weird for a bit. I just...

I think everyone is different. I wish he would talk. But then again, maybe I won't like what he says. ;)

 

[Deleted member 38137]

For me, it's as @MisterCatLady said. And means 'very bad'. And the physical symptoms...

It's hard because sometimes I don't know what to do. I want to help but then again, I don't like the super dick mode that comes out when he's feeling bad. So I have to balance it out. It just frightens me because I think the longer we have been together, the more "bad" times he's having. I'm wondering if he was hiding it better before. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just gotten worse. I don't know.

 

[Deleted member 38137]

When my vet says 'I'm feeling bad' or 'I'm not well today' I know he's struggling so I usually leave...

This is kind of off topic but I found a book that I think you should add to your PTSD research files. It's called "Redeployment" by Phil Klay. It's written by a Marine and is very interesting. It's more anecdotal than self-helpish. Seeing as you like to read, I think this would be a great one for you. :)