What Has Been Your Weirdest Trigger?

[Jen93]

Darkness is awful. I don't know why, but every time I end up in a dark room where I'm supposed to like close my eyes and relax or something i get a flashback... I think it's because that way I have more time to think. I ALWAYS hear the voices before I see the pictures.

 

[J'aime]

I think darkness is such a trigger because there is nothing (or not much) to visually distract your mind. Therefore, the darkness allows your mind to wander internally, and with ptsd being the forefront of everything, the brain will wander into places we'd rather forget...even if it's subconscious. I find myself zoned out in the darkness, making plans of how fast I could grab my gun if Justin were to break into my house, or different escape routes, or how I could subdue him and get my daughter and escape, etc. My mind is consumed with thoughts like these, when my rational mind has to sometimes step in forcibly and tell me, "He is 1,200 miles away, he does not know where you live, what car you drive now, where you work, nor has your phone number even". This is reassuring at times, but I definitely sleep with lights on!

 

[MyStarryNight]

Darkness can really be a problem for me too. It seems as soon as nightfall hits I start having A LOT more flashbacks and a lot more anxiety. But it's not just the actual visual darkness, for instance I can be in a room without windows and start having flashbacks and then I realize hey, the sun probably just set and invariably I'm right.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Its weird, bear with me here- but popsicle sticks. The wooden things, when I even think about it hitting my teeth, omg, even now I am getting that creeped out, funky, irrational, crazy feeling inside. It comes form an incident of abuse from my childhood I believe.
It used to be only popsicle sticks- but recently I had a wooden spoon and scraped it against the side of the pan, and the feel in my hand.... It's so bad I cant even stand to attempt to explain it.
I don't like it.

 

[AuraBunny]

Whenever a person in class raises their hand to speak, I get scared. Its from all the domestic violence and abuse, sometimes they will brush past me and it scares me too, when people speak over me it reminds me of being manipulated into believing something completely false or negative about myself. Its really intense, I have no control over it. And sometimes I just hope people in class don't notice.

 

[Rick A.]

My last major 'flashback/trigger' was standing in the fantail of a cruise ship and mortar rounds from my past started dropping in front of me. I ran back to the stateroom and luckily my woman was there to calm me down. I also get real 'twitchy' when 'thunder & lighting' storms near my vicinity.
Stand fast ... this to shall pass.
"It takes 20 years of peace to make a man & only 20 seconds of war to destroy him"

 

[LittleBear]

For myself...it's every Saturday night because the person I lost we'd either ride around the "big city" or spend time at his house, which happened to be his family home from over 40+ years ago. Those rides and visits meant the World to both of us.

Now when Saturday is either getting close or Saturday evening is it can become brutal. The other two triggers are friends and family that either ask or don't ask how I'm doing. Weird but it makes me think of him just as much when people don't ask as when they do.

Finally, when I see someone that looks like either him or his Wife. I've caught myself a couple of times staring at people which before I wouldn't do. I dang near stroked out several months ago when a car came by the parking lot I was exiting. He drove a generic import that there must be hundreds of on the streets at any one time. I followed this car to time my merge and God as my witness the guy driving looked just like him. I had enough time to tell it wasn't him but for one micro-second I would rather be struck by lightening than to feel that jolt again.

Things are smoothing out in some ways and getting worse in others because of triggers but that incident with the car and driver had to have been the greatest shock I've ever experienced up to and including the phone call from my Brother that our Dad was clinging to life and wasn't going to make it.

Generally, I am very slow to react to news whether good or bad. I even wondered if I was or am autistic. But that one moment I saw that driver I think almost every cell in my body came close to bursting.

It's not possible to ever escape the triggers but hopefully and praying for they will soon become simple acknowledgments and not storm generators.

Thanks,

LBear

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Halls, medicine cough drops for sore throats

 

[majidah]

Firecrackers, especially the M-80's trigger flash backs. They sound so much like a gun firing off. Even when I hear a car backfire, I almost duck. Even if I'm driving. When those three things are heard, I tend to need to get into a different environment immediately. I almost always end up in a shaking, tearful mess. Yeah so the Fourth of July isn't my favorite holiday.

 

[alleycat]

Doorways, if there's a group of people in the room I'm going in. Especially if I can't see into the room.

Flashbulbs, on occasion.

The feel of chalk on my fingernails.

Bright sunlight.

The most obvious, though it's not particularly unusual, is tension from anger. If a situation feels tense to me and then I feel like I've done something wrong, even if it's something miniscule, I will quite literally freeze in place. My breathing becomes shallow, I can't move, can't speak, etc. If I can move, I do so very, very slowly and talk in very quiet, low monotone. Basically whatever I can in order not to draw attention to myself.

I'm waiting on the screaming to start.

 

[Dan]

Seeing my shadow in the headlights of a vehicle. Maybe it's not strange considering when it happened that was all the light we had, but closing the gate at 6am on the way to work so the dog doesn't get out gets me.

 

[majidah]

I have to admit alleycat, where it comes to tension, I do not back down. Tension or possible upcoming arguments or whatever tends to turn on a rage thing for me. My boyfriend teases me that he never needs to feel as if he has to defend me because my rage is enough to make the Incredible Hulk cower in fear. My daughter teases that I have two very major best friends in my life, rage and PMS.