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What Have You Learned That Made You Feel Empowered

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Finding a CPTSD group. Wow you all are EXACTLY what I need at this point of my journey. I've studied and "know" what CPTSD is and looks like. But I'm getting restless and lonely not "talking" to ppl that understand it.... There's SO much personal experience and solution to coping here (just at a glance). Feeling less and less afraid tonight. Goodnight.
 
Awesome thread I've learned a lot reading it.

In therapy we were picking apart a fear or something I can't exactly remember. Anyway my T says that doesn't sound like you. I was like huh? I just said it though what do you mean. She said it didn't sound like something I would say she asked me if anyone had said that statement to me in the past. Hmm well yeah quite a lot actually. Well we figured out that this particular cognitive distortion was from childhood and it was something that was said to me a lot "you are stupid" when we picked it apart it turns out that I don't even really believe that. I just said it to myself over and over and didn't even question it.

When I thought about what I was doing to myself was exactly what they did to me and I was continuing on the emotional abuse. Well I was like f*ck that I'm not continuing on their work I won't help them like that. That was a huge light bulb moment for me when I could practice self care and compassion as a f*ck you to emotional abusers. Now that it's more practiced I can do that just for me without having to find excuses. Now I feel worthy of compassion. Well that was another huge lightbulb moment. In order to feel worthy of self care I had to practice self care for a while.
 
Sometimes we hear something 99 times and logically we get it but, the rest of us just doesn't...
Keep on singing black bird, I like your tune. I have learned similar facts within the last couple of weeks. To un-brainwash your mind is a tremendous task, daunting for sure. I have been brainwashed by my dad, and one of his most destructive messages to me was that women are made for the entertainment of men, regardless of their own physical or mental health. I totally concur with you that we need to hear some of the therapy messages 100 times before we totally understand how we were groomed and treated by predators.
Any of such cheap messages are constantly communicated by predators. I am well enough now that I can recognize the behavior of such predators without letting them get close ever again, I let loose women deal with such loosers, hihi.

It is empowering to learn about such things, because then I can concentrate of what I really need. Who needs the cheap stuff? No one that is interested in the real thing, that's for sure.
 
Connecting the dots between the energies we support via our food intake (and through anything we use on our bodies and in our personal spaces, as well) and what we suffer with, overall. I'd never bothered to look that deep until I was forced to do so via a medical emergency. Many claim to love animals but allow and support horrendous actions via their forks each day, several times a day. We've been misled and misfed our entire lives, and many folks bank on our not becoming any wiser. That and learning how to deep breathe to control my anxiety better are two of the most self-empowering things I've learned so far in this half-century of existence. I think I finally innerstand the whole self-love thing now from a much healthier space.
 
(1) When got help I was in a really bad place and T told me: all you have to do [this weekend] is survive. And it suddenly clicked - usually, all I saw was the things I wasn't doing. But there might be another way - to count everything beyond survival as extra credit.
(2) When I had a flashback in front if her, I was speaking in the present tense, then muttered "I know this isnt real," she said: it is real, but it is not now. I barely heard her at the time, but later that was powerful for me.
(3) T said this a long time ago but it's sinking in very slowly: I have choices. I tend to see only what I should/must/am expected to do. Now I see I can choose for myself. I am an adult. Because I had no real choices for most of my life, for me it is an empowering thing.
 
I don't have to feel bad anymore. It's work but I'm so relieved. I was so afraid of feeling like that. I'm still afraid something will happen to bring that feeling back. (Make me feel that) I haven't felt like that for awhile so I've been able to learn new things and my behaviour has improved. Everything is calmer and more in control. I was doing it backwards, I was trying to think my way out of it. We took a trip recently I actually enjoyed it. Everything wasn't a giant problem. I wasn't a giant problem.
 
I learned as a child, (on my own and despite abuse traumas), that I am a part of the beauty and awesomeness of all creation, ...(just by being in nature and observing).

By working my recovery program, I have learned that I am a normal person who has had an unfortunate and traumatic past. That I am enough and that I am lovable...,despite what others have done...and despite having PTSD.

I think there is a lot to be said for allowing oneself to be, for being silent and still, and for observing / listening.... seems I have been empowered by these simple practices.

.*(just kinda thinking out loud here, hope someone finds this helpful).
 
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