Other What is a sociopath? personality disorders general

[dharmaBum]

I don't have the paperwork easily accessible, but in 1990 the man who plead guilty to raping me (as a child) repeatedly over the span of 5 years participated in mandated psychiatric evaluations during the course of his Sex Offender Sentencing Alternative , which permitted him to avoid a 2.5 year prison sentence. I believe the diagnoses listed by the credentialed evaluator were Axis I Paraphilia: Pedophilia, and Axis II: Borderline Personality Disorder. (I'll update this if needed when I find the documentation.)

I have been evaluated 6 times since his abuse ended in 1987, and the diagnoses by appropriately licensed mental health providers have always been Clinical Depression and PTSD. Two counselors I have seen have readily shared that they suspect my mother of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder, based on the limited information I have provided (I was in no way seeking a diagnosis for her, this was simply offered up by them during sessions). My mother has shared that she has been diagnosed with PTSD and Clinical Depression and that at her time of treatment based on information she shared during sessions her psychiatrist strongly suspected my long-deceased father of Bipolar Disorder with an extended manic phase. What is the credibility and value of these pseudo-diagnoses given based on one-sided narratives?

Although I can't verify the diagnosis for my mother, I found I shared many common experiences with those cited in lay-materials regarding children of narcissistic parents. When I started reading about the thinking patterns and behaviors of pedophiles, particularly sadistic offenders, it changed my life. It was as if I had found the Rosetta Stone explaining the mysteries of a lifetime of irrational self-hatred. In large part because of the internalized offender-perspective that I lived my life through, it never occurred to me that the man who began grooming and molesting me at 10 years old was a pedophile.

While I think it can be dangerous and defaming to communicate to others that an offender is a psychopath, etc. without having the evidence of a diagnosis., it can also be enlightening and empowering to privately analyze one's experience with a perpetrator through the lens of appropriate psychopathology. A rigorous application is needed here to get even close to grasping which of many disorders might apply in a victimization situation, and I don't assume that a disorder must be present for a person to commit abuse. There are certainly many examples of situational abuses that are not driven by diagnosable disorders. However, I think that there is also some benefit in learning about the causes and signs of specific disorders, even if a certain offender or survivor doesn't qualify for the full-blown diagnosis.

Additionally, why be held back in healing from something like narcissistic attachment wounds just because the significant caregiver in question hasn't or won't get evaluated? Do we really need a confirmed detailed analysis of an offender's disorder in order to go forward with treatment as if such a disorder played a role in the abuse or the dynamics of a significant relationship?

I'm curious about a situation like one that happened recently where a man suspected of killing his wife suddenly killed his two young children and himself when the court did not rule that he could retain custody of his children when images of child pornography and video-recorded voyeurism were found in the home he shared with his own father. After the pornography was found, the man was ordered to take a lie detector test and psychosexual evaluation before he would be allowed unsupervised access to his children. He killed them several days later during a supervised visit. This man was never diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder, possibly primarily because he was unwilling to submit to an evaluation. Does this mean we cannot suspect and/or react as if it is likely that he was a clinical psychopath or narcissist?

 

[anthony]

What is the credibility and value of these pseudo-diagnoses given based on one-sided narratives?

Absolutely zero and completely speculative assumptions which no therapeutic specialist should ever state to any client.

Additionally, why be held back in healing from something like narcissistic attachment wounds just because the significant caregiver in question hasn't or won't get evaluated?

You actually more accurately answered this yourself in your opening statements about your own rapist. He was not diagnosed as a sociopath / psychopath by raping you as a child, even though those terms love to be applied for whatever reason or self-relief, they are inaccurate, and I am yet to really hear anyone say they have healed themselves and found relief by creating more assumptions about their abuser. It doesn't achieve a thing... usually just makes a person even more bitter and twisted due to false assumptions, spiking symptoms, not reducing them.

He killed them several days later during a supervised visit. This man was never diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder, possibly primarily because he was unwilling to submit to an evaluation. Does this mean we cannot suspect and/or react as if it is likely that he was a clinical psychopath or narcissist?

Killing another does not make them such. Depressed people kill themselves, their family, kids, spouses, etc, it happens all the time. Do we call them sociopaths / psychopaths? They were depressed severely and made an horrific choice.

Where do you draw the line with blaming and naming when there aren't the facts to support such? That makes a person a gossip. Innuendo! Like a bunch of old men or women sitting around on a corner at a coffee shop looking at all the young people wearing hoodies or having tattoo's, etc, labelling them hoodlums or such when it is actually just fashion and kids being kids.

This topic is a little more serious though than the above example... where is the line in the sand if you apply such assumptive labels to people you don't have the facts about? Is this guy over here who killed himself and his wife due to depression, just depressed and we should feel sympathy for him, and this one over here who killed himself and his kids due to the same depression, we should label a sociopath for killing his kids?

I can tell you where the line is. The line is at the door of psychiatrists who have the capacity to accurately assess such aspects, which are extremely rare compared to how the term is applied. Sociopaths are not common, they are rare in the scheme of population numbers. If left to those who have been abused, every abuser would be labelled a sociopath / psychopath just for hate purposes, not because they actually are one by clinical diagnosis.

There is a difference, which you clearly outlined with your example of your own abuser, between someone who just does bad shit and a sociopath themselves.

In essence, it really cannot be debated like people are attempting, because unless you're a psychiatrist who has evaluated the person in depth, then you cannot make such a diagnosis to accurately cite a person is something, when factually they have greater odds at not being such... compared to being an arsehole, bastard, bitch, etc.

 

[Icon Nikon]

Anthony,

It appears relatIvely obvious that your opinion is fairly fixed on this subject, and it is certainly yours to have. So again, I am not out to change your opinion, but to offer up some instances where my professional opinion differs from your, so that others can make an informed decision for themselves.

Therefore, like before, I would like to pose a few more food for thought items. Starting with what I strongly believe is the overuse or misuse of the words "facts/proof", as there are none! Inherent in the field of psychology is the inability to do "true experiments" based on ethical and logistical dilemmas. Ethically we can not withhold tx from clients in search of "facts", and likewise we can not account for all contributing factors to get down to "one" variable to hypothesize about and confirm or deny through experiment. The best we can do is to have two tx groups or longitudinal studies, and then draw our best impressions from those findings. But remember even statistics, which most believe to be fact, are based on self reporting or clinical observations, which have/do slant the numbers, since both are unreliable (much like "eye-witness" testimony").

The next point is about "theoretical labeling without having a proper assessment". Now, as a licensed professional capable of assessing and diagnosing clients, I DO NOT take that process lightly, for I know an incorrect dx can lead a client down a harmful and non-healing path!!! But with that said, I do believe that at times there is therapeutic value in "cautiously speculating" about an abuser's, etc bio-pyscho-social-cultural-spiritual contextual background.

For example, I think it can be very helpful for a therapist and a client to "responsibly speculate" about what might have contributed to an abuser's behavior, like that of my own mother's towards me. And the "speculation" might very well resemble or closely adhere to a DSM label, or DSM label criteria, features, or tendencies. Although I will admit, that a professional should only do this if there is therapeutic value to the client and with a phrase like "if I were to hazard a guess about what your abuser's assessment
might be, then I would likely be lookin at "this" or "that" or some combination.

Just think about the educational value alone, though I must admit that when it was first done with me (before my mother made an appt with my therapist under a false identity and "accidentally" received an assessment/dx instead of stalking information on me) I felt as if my therapist was giving my mother an "excuse" for why she abused/neglected me based on her own life story. But if "speculation/hypothesizing" is done responsibly and say narcissistic, histronic, despression, etc are looked at and reviewed in a respectful and merited light, then when collaborating a professional alliance, a client might get a better understanding about themselves, their experience, their diffulties, their strengths, their obstacles to healing, and their specific treatment objectives.

Also such exploration with a client, in systems theory, etc, and through pattern tracing (genograms) has demonstrated tremendous value in helping to break the intergenerational transmission of such disorders and disfunction. As in it provides the client with more choices, opportunities, and conscious decisions to help stop the harmful cycles of abuse, addcition, trauma, fear, obsessive compulsions, etc - And I wholeheartdly believe that the next generation would reap the benefits of our new found awareness, exploration, and more mindful actions from all of us. We are survivors, but none of us, I think, want our children to be sufferers too.

However, if by chance no one sees the value in that example, let me draw a "labeling without being properly evaluated" parallel to the medical community. And I will make it personal as it is my opinion, but not mine alone. And please trust in 5 days I will and been in one of two hospitals for 7 full months. Have a valid lawsuit waiting in the wings, and so I typically do not use this forum to speak about medical insanity. Therefore please bear with me.

I have a group of rare autoimmune disorders and few more typical ones, that much like an DSM label or disorder are just a bunch of symptoms with a socially connstructed. And in my case, the first one has a label that does not coincide or reflect the lists of known symptoms. After that, the medical community "decided" to leave the "inaccurate dx label" in place since they "believed" that it affected more people (largest study ever done in the US was with 17 people in Philadelphia) and yet name change would only lead to "confusion", "less people getting diagnosed with it" (since the old name had a larger body of journal articles), and "fewer treatments being discovered".

Now with that misunderstood and inaccurate dx label, I have not only received near lethal ER treamnet, but have been denied Prednisone because the "label" alone does not suggest that it is indicated, have also had the same doctors who discount this rare disorder use it to attribute other symptoms to it without an exhaustive search for other causes yet still deny Prednisone, and have had others complete dismiss me, it, and my pain because it may not be "visible to them" at that time so it "must be psychosomatic"...just to name a few.

However, in so doing they missed catching my brain tumor, allowed pneumonia to develop into a blood born infection with abscesses and C-Diff, intubated and excubated me using improper proper medical protocol (when I handed the protocol to them, for I am never without it), enabled an aggressive giant cell tumor grow on my spine since they wrote off my stated pain to my original AI while having to change my clothes for me each day, and have just now diagnosed me with Nephrotic Syndrome which is ironically another missed AI disorder whose only management (keep symtoms at bay for as long as possie) is, what else but, Prednisone (and such a delay in dx and tx has left them with significant and irreversible damage).

Please do forgive my previous paragraph formatting. I should have found a way to make them into list to make it easier to read and follow, but I AM doing the best I can with the resources I have. And by the way, the two AIs I am referring to are both Lupus or MS type diseases with only early detection to intialize management tx for there is not cure for either. So before I depart from what Anthony and I agree on (and others), I wanted to clearly indicate, that just like with any Mental Health Dx label, medical evaluations and DX labels must also be approach with great respect for if they are wrong or inaccurate, at best healing is delayed. And at worst much harm will occur or lives may lost.

Now for the helping aspect of "labeling without being properly evaluated". I personally have been diagnosed with "COPD" and my grandmother while in my care was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Well one might say that is wrong to do if we can only use medical Dx labels that can evaluated in some way as "true" or "proven" with a lab result or scan or something evidence based. And then others may say why is it wrong. In support of Anthony's position, it would be grossly wrong since both diseases can ONLY be accurately evaluated and labeled after an autopsy is performed. Ouch!

But I do not believe that this is wrong (and maybe Anthony does not either in this medical sense) for in my case my breathing issues extend beyond all the symptoms of chronic and severely resistent Asthma. And they are further complicated (or exacerbated) by my rare autoimmune disorders to the point where no Dx applies. As for my grandmother's Albeimer's Dx, it too at some point left the realm of dementia to, where again, there is no true Dx code. However, the labels DO serve a purpose, even if not able to be accurately "proven". They serve to inform other medical healthcare providers that all less severe dx are no longer applicable, so pleade DO treat this patient as if they have COPD/Alheimer's so that we may attempt to improve/extend their quality of life for long as is it is possible with current treatment regimens for both.

And well, I would loosely liken these medical examples and processes to the more healthy aspects of "cautiously hypothesizing" in a professionial alliance about how/why someone has experienced and been damaged and harmed by another in the mental health arena. I would also add that just like the preemptive medical treatment here to help facilitate/extend well-being and delay grief, that looking and exploring and abuser's "possible" disorders can better enable the client-therapist dyad to educate and to assess the potential risks of "what if the abuser is really narcissistic, histrionic, severely depressed, OCD, pedophile, etc?" Because only then can a client make an informed decision as to how best to proceed to themselve and their children safe from further harm and truly on the path of healthy healing. And so in assuming the worst, when within reason to do just that, we likely will be better equipped to prepared to protect, stay safe, have less harm inflicted upon our children, and yes, even be alive and in a proactive place/state where healing can occur.

And my last "food for pondering thought" centers around the "revenge" factor, as well as, the "helpfulness" of such therapeutic speculative hypothesizing. Although I have had my fair share of revenge fantasies, about a mother's sadistic abuse/neglect/death threats/suicidal road trip towards her replacement daughter, my father's role as a look the other way bystander (not protector) and verbal/physical abuser, my one brother's many different assault tactics along with pimping me out to his friends, the two local brothers who stabbed me with a knife because I stood up and declined to sign their KKK petition and who two (?) years later went on to shoot, kill, and dismember their parents in their own home, my high school math teacher who started baiting and grooming me for her emotional/sexual exploits when I was still in middle school and also taking high school math/science courses, my very first and mandated male psychiatrist's repeated weekly rapes with amnesiacs and/or paralytics following my suicidal/fatigued/emaciated/trauma related 302 psychiatric hospitalization...(all before I reached the ripe old age of 25 and most before I could verbally speak but a few simple words and phrases)...I have never once speculated or hypothesized about my various to exact some form of revenge or vindication or hate for anyone but myself, for I blamed no one but me for all that had happened to me.

What I was looking for when hypothesizing with my therapist was "language and words" to better describe to her what I had experienced and to validate that the shame that I carried around was not my shame but theirs. And even against the advice of most everyone in my life, I never fully cut myself off from my bio family. One of those reasons, was to protect my four nieces and nephews from such abuse/neglect - I figured my life was over, but I was not going to standby and allow another generation in my bio family to be abused/neglected/destroyed. The cycle was to stop with me, period!

The other reason I chose not to cutoff was primarily to "purposefully" and "therapeutically" go back from time to time into that "sticky wicked web of torturous destruction" to "see thru my adult eyes" what my "young eyes bore witness to". In essence to see it thru another lens and then to test if any of our "therapeutic hypotheses" seemed to ring true in my "adult eyes with adult observational skills and knowledge. I did not have much of an emotional vocabulary to help out with overlaying the emotional impact I felt on top of the actual experienced events - I could only write them down like some kind of cruelty "to do", or in my case, "not to do" list. And the little emotional vocabulary that I did have was twisted up from years of actual isolated captivity (except mandated school) where I was silenced, told what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to wear, what I wanted to do, what I wanted to want,/need .... and ultimately what I was to feel (true or not).

So based on needing to find my own voice and a very detailed and methodical approach to looking at the DSM, my gifted therapist and I generated a "what it might feel like to the adult me and the child me if so and so had certain DSM pathological symptoms." And proactively armed with that and my detailed database of emotions, complete with continuums for intensity, I re-entered that web from time to time, when hitting each new wall, in order to purposefully learn from and test our reasonable theories thru a series of comparisons and list emotions to see which ones ring true in present day interactions.

Then after doing that, actually I have never stopped doing it, a portal from the present to the past slowly started to open. And although it still took me well over five years to move from speaking only through the use of novel passages, song lyrics, flow charts, encrypted numerical sequences, photographs, electrical schematics, blue prints, chord progressions...to tenatively speaking, what I call, my "Whispers From Within" (my life story) in a very whispered voice. And unfortunately I HAD to do all these things before I could even begin to tackle my worthless, defects, self-hate, deficiencies, or intolerateble shame.

So, for me, I do see the value of exploring your our lives and lived experience through different diagnostics labels to see which ones shed some light on your own internal reactions and can assist in our own healing. But ironically I still refer to my own mother as "sadistic bio bitch Barbie doll" or "my personal ventriloquist with her hand literally up my ass" or "the ultimate puppet master with me as her spider down below, not able to make a single move without her permission", rather than the "sociopath" (antisocial PD) that she was diagnosed twice as. I just tend to call her "not human" and yet still tend to see humanness in her.

I do not know if she has any resemblance to a conscience and no, I do not see any remosre, but she also can not sit with herself and appears to always be running from her own shadow. So in the end, I do not believe things just because she was assessed, I only believe them when I can see/feel it for myself. And really, who wants to see their own mother as a sociopath? When we are so very young love is needs/wants and needs/wants are love as we do not yet possesses the knowledge to differentiate. All I can say is that we need more childhood interventions before those critical times and developmental stages close forever.

And though I differ in my opinion, I do strongly believe that my right to speculate/hypothesize about my abusers ends with my own personal journey of healing! Thus anonymously on here with ever stating full names of any abuser should be ok, if you feel you need more justice than that, most assuredly the courts, attorneys, etc will need much more.

I suppose I will end with that. I do, for whatever internal reasons find myself being pulled to this thread and so I do so appreciate it. I also must humbly thank those who decided to wade their way through this post and end up here at this paragraph. I know it must not have been easy.

Respectfully posted,
Alex
(who most likely needs the psych ward more than the ICU at this time)

 

[Loloma]

Wow, speechless. (((((Hugs))))) Alex

 

[PTSD sufferer]

I am going to tempt being banned for trolling, to say this to you Icon Nikon. You articulate so much that speaks true to my heart, head, to my nightmares. Bless you for finding your voice, bless you for surviving.

 

[Srain]

I respectfully disagree that knowing why my father did what he did (cured was mentioned, naturally no one thing is the answer so this would only be part of the knowledge I've found helpful) as part-time pedophile and full-time Sociopath father's. He fit both to the tee, and my psychiatrist I was seeing, who had evaluated both my parents at some point was struck by him as a person, later telling my mother she could no longer see me. I looked her up after returning the state years late to have a chat with her about what had happened.

Understanding that would he did to me and brothers was first, never about sex it was about power, and that he fit all forms Sociopath. I would never own up to anything and busting my nose with so much as revving up to anger without remorse was the norm for. As someone trying to understand how a parent could something like that to his child/children and then smile, it was important for me to understand it was nothing personal, it had nothing to do with me. This allowed me let go and move forward from him as my father and stop taking it all person.

Also, I will not take back that the ex who punched, kicked, and held a knife to my throat torturing me without any emotion was a Sociopath. He was more than ass, jerk, abuser, or plain bad guy. (Oddly one of those jerks later went on to put a young nurse in the hospital, she was left brain dead.)I've met those before, gotten mixed up with them even. Not since my father or since, have met anyone who beat someone half their size for no reason what-so-ever and act like nothing had happened.

I do get how dangerous labels can be, I've been misdiagnosed and had the effects of that be reverberate through out the medical profession as well as my family and friends. I have been a part an international group fighting against stigmas, but this is MY trauma experience, it hasn't changed even though I can't produce their psyche eval.

I had PTSD prior to being diagnosed, after being diagnosed, and I still have PTSD.

 

[Icon Nikon]

PTSD Sufferer,

I do not think you will be banned for saying that you can identify with what I wrote. And I greatly appreciate that you are glad that I survived and that my words seems to help you. That is one on the reasons I keep fighting, because it gives my existence some meaning to offer a thought felt post here and there when able.

I did read some of your posts and agreed with some of the points you were making. When I write in threads, I either write to encourage or to offer a voice for what I have not seen stated to date. But I always try to remember that no thread is a dialogue with any one person but rather an unknown audience. I truly do believe that words have great power to heal or to harm, but that all opinions should be honored as long as they are presented in a respectful manner. And I offer mine in that light. I enjoy knowing that people have read my posts but I never expect anyone to completely agree with me because we all have our own worldview and lived experiences which shapes our opinions.

Something I also strongly believe is that our similarities tend to unite us while our differences, if in a good mental state and place of openness, tend to expand us. And we do need both, for us now and for future generations so that their road is not as hard as ours has been.

The only other thing I can offer up is that your first line in your post obvious came from an extreme place of pain/hurt. And when we are in a place of great pain/hurt we tend to not have our normal everyday "communication filter" on. Trust me, I know. I just know that in those moments I need much support and can not handle a discussion like this one, so I tend to "puke up my emotions" on my profile page or elsewhere until I am less fragile.

And you can feel free to "puke up" your emotions on my page from time to time and I will know that what you need then is a comforting presence. Just please remember that emotions run high on here and that each person has their own way of dealing with those emotions. So I invite you to write on my page but do note that I have very many fragile days too.

(((hugs for the pain you are in)))
Alex

 

[PTSD sufferer]

You are right, I am in a bad place. Thank you Alex, for the offer of puking on your page but I have yet to find my own voice. If I talk, it hurts others, they can't handle it, but neither can I. I once mentioned my memories (in a broad sense) on this forum and someone else was badly triggered. I can't do that to anyone else.

My only saving grace is education, my 'obsession' with knowledge, to the extent of getting even more degrees. To try to make sense of the world, to give myself the knowledge that naive young lady did not have, to prepare for the future and to protect. I am almost certain that if I had knowledge back then, there would have been a different outcome for myself and others. That is all I can say for myself.

 

[anthony]

The only thing I will disagree with is this:

Starting with what I strongly believe is the overuse or misuse of the words "facts/proof", as there are none! Inherent in the field of psychology is the inability to do "true experiments" based on ethical and logistical dilemmas.

Whilst I agree it is impossible to do true experiments in some areas of psychology, that is not a broad brush statement, where ethical and factual findings can be found in many cases.

Facts are extremely evident in psychology, but more some people confuse what a fact is. A fact in psychology is something that stands with empirical evidence to substantiate it. It is like comparing Frueds psychosexual development with Piagets cognitive stage theory. Whilst Piaget himself never had empirical data to substantiate his theories, further studies that have used the foundational knowledge have concluded empirical validity in areas. Whilst Frueds theories of id, ego and superego can never be empirically validated, as consciousness cannot be measured to validate to begin with, again, further physicians who have used the foundational knowledge to construct such modern day therapies such as art therapy, cognitive therapy, etc, using the underlying substance of invalid theory, is proven now empirical by the amount of studies done that conclude similar results / outcomes.

Thus, this is what defines a fact in psychology, by the exact definition of what psychology has defined to be stated as factual vs. theoretical in nature. Theoretical hypothesis is still unvalidated, yet evidence exists that the theory cannot be disproven either, thus it lays unproven. When the evidence mimics itself over and over again, with little change in outcome, it can be clearly defined as factual at the point in time stated.

Do facts change? Yes. Fact is an evolutionary process of change in psychology based on empirical evidence.

That is the only part I disagree with... the rest is your opinion and personal life. The above is not my opinion, the above is psychologies definition of a fact in relation to psychology itself.

Also unsure why you think you would be banned for writing your opinion... you aren't attacking anyone. Opinions are valid.

 

[anthony]

Thinking about this more whilst doing some other work... I do agree that in a therapy session there can be some therapeutic benefit to a client in exploring sociopathic / psychopathic behaviour, which is different from stating, your abuser is a sociopath / psychopath. It is unethical of any therapist to make such assumptions to a vulnerable client in order to make them feel better.

The problem that has extended onto this forum is not citing sociopathic / psychopathic "behaviour" as a context, but people clearly defining their abuser as a sociopath / psychopath, when that is false, misleading and unethical in every context unless diagnosed as such. This forum is not a controlled therapeutic environment where you're meant to have an ethical therapist keep facts as such and hypotheticals clearly defined, so that they're not causing their client more harm through lies and innuendo, which is just as damaging and can perpetuate traumatisation once outside the therapeutic relationship.

You can see that here... people explore a behaviour in therapy, they then perpetuate and change the behaviour to a diagnosis, and label their abuser. And as stated by members on this forum, their therapist has agreed their abuser is a sociopath or psychopath based on only their words. This is not helpful to the person healing by being mislead in any way, shape or form. Clients deserve the truth, not anything that makes them feel better. That is the difference between ethical and unethical therapy.

 

[Icon Nikon]

Anthony,

Thank you for clarifying that "facts/proof" are prevailing psychological empirical evidenced based data. It seemed, to me, that there was much confusion surrounding this particular issue, and that confusion, in my observations, has led to unnecessary hurt feelings and intense emotional reactions. I was hoping that you would do exactly what you did and further explain your position when you question someone. I, myself, know that what you are usually asking for is "supporting data", but also sensed that many may feel that you are demanding "proof through some authenticated document". I hope that our exchange will help others see this in a new light and disarm things a bit.

And as for your other comment, I believe that you must have misread something in one of my two recent posts. I NEVER felt that you were going to ban me for my opinions, although I did admit that I should have made the one easier to read (just hard sometimes right now and also was too tired to see/correct typos in time). I feel that even though we may disagree, you have read my posts, and, based on how they were presented, respected my views. I was merely trying to help out another member who DID feel that way, by explaining what I saw and what I believe. Hope you can see that now.

Warmly,
Alex

 

[cjf2010]

My ex actually was diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder. He was also diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and adult adhd. He's a walking mess, and the sad thing is I really don't think he can control his behavior that hurts all the people he loves. Then again I sometimes wonder if he truly loved anyone.:(