What Is Best To Say To A PTSD Sufferer?

[Truthful_Whispers]

Honestly, words are of very little comfort during an emotional breakdown. Sometimes, it is best to say nothing at all. Just be there, and listen. After the "wave" passes, people are often much more receptive to vocal comforts. I know I am.

 

[Saint Nik]

Spot on @Whispering_Truth so very true :hug:

 

[void]

To a sufferer from me:

"I know........................................."(long pause filled with compassion, openness and softness)
"I do not know the details but I do know the pain, the loss, the fear"
"I wish that you had a better life than this..............you did nothing to create this"
"All we can do is attempt to become relatively well, and life can be ok if we do"
"It is very hard work and it HURTS....a lot, but it can lead to good things"
"I will be available to you as much as I am able"
"I will not judge anything you say"
"I believe you.........................I accept you...................":hug:

And to those who read this "May peace replace your pain":hug:

(very emotional writing this:cry:....I guess it is what I have never heard and always wanted:cry:)
Thank you for this thread.

 

[Saint Nik]

@void I quote you as a sufferer to another

"I know what this suffering feels like"(long pause filled with compassion and openness and softness)
"I wish that you had a better life than this and you did nothing to create this, it wasn't you fault in any way"
"All we can do is attempt to become relatively well, and life can be ok if we do"
"It is very hard work and it HURTS....a lot, but it can lead to good things"
"I will be available to you as much as I am able"
"I will not judge anything you say"
"I believe you.........................I accept you

very emotional writing this:cry:....I guess it is what I have never heard and always wanted

And may your tears bring relief and release to you! :hug:

I added my own words of comfort in your quotes back to you and

May peace replace your pain

:)

Very loving and compassionate words! :hug:

 

[void]

@Saint Nik
I am moved by your reply. You are very kind. Thank you.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 29961]

Some days, just listen, even if he/she isn't speaking... just listen.

 

[shimmerz]

Sometimes, it is best to say nothing at all

I find that sometimes sitting or lying with the person on the same level is very comforting. Being a very calm energy just like if a child rants and rages, an adult who is cool and 'in control' can many times get the child to calm as well with not a ton of effort.

A cool cloth, and an 'I love you' and/or 'I am here with you' said softly and with conviction.

 

[Changing4Best]

I read a book not too long ago called "Ettiquette of Illness"and in it the author says it is a good idea instead of saying "how are you doing (or feeling) today?" to ask if it is a good idea or not to ask this, like do you want to talk about that or not today? Sometimes we PTSDers want to talk about this and sometimes we don't! In other words, let us decide to speak of or not to speak of our condition of that day.

 

[TonyG]

Don't say anything just be there and listen

 

[Deleted member 19804]

"You are not crazy or weird."

"I love you just as much as I would if you didn't have PTSD."

"I'm proud of you ( for not giving up)"

"It's ok to show weakness sometimes"

"You may have been a victim, but you are also a fighter/survivor"

"It's okay to take more time to reach your goals"

"I'm here for you"

 

[Justmehere]

Ask what I want to hear, ask me what helps.

The more we ask and tell the other person in the relationship what helps and what doesn't, the more we get to know each other and be there for each other in the ways needed.

Every sufferer supporter relationship is going to have different things that work and don't work - and both sides should be willing to say, this helps and that is better to say to me, and ask the other person what they want to hear, and what helps them in a tough day.