What Is Going On Around Here?

[Grama-Herc]

Seems like everybody is upset with themselves, angry at eachother or accussing another person of something. We are having pissing matches and general chaos through out the forum. This is not what I signed up for!

We ALL have PTSD! HELLOOOOOOO? Personally, I am in my paronoid phase. I feel no one is interested or even cares that I have anything to say. Other folks are just plain touchy!

I've been reading posts most of the evening and seems no one is happy with or getting along with other people.

SHIT Lighten up. I know the holidays are stressful but damn, we need each other to help ease this stress. What has happened to our forum?

I joined for some help, insight, information and sharing along with the hope someone just might have a bit of something in their life that could help me manage mine a little better.

Pissing matches were not mentioned to me. Imposing some rather strong personal attacks on each other-well I found no mention of that in any of the literature I read!

PTSD is hard enough to deal with, without attacking each other.

Now that I have managed to piss everybody off I will say Good Night.

But before I go I must say, some of you really need to back off a little. You need to keep your negative opinions to yourself. Especially when someone is in a positive and happy state. We don't need people peeing in our cereal. We don't get the chance to be truly happy very often. So having people belittle, dissect, analize and point out the flaws in our happiness is not being-- well---we'll just say not very supportive.

With that out of my system I'll say Good Night and hope this is taken in the spirit in which it wad given

 

[just tina]

Well, I'm new here. I'm wondering if the private chats have more developed conversations that are more nuanced, so that people can build a rapport and ask people for clarification instead of leaping to a lot of conclusions based on theories about how to heal from a disorder that we reputedly can't recover from.

I feel like I'm only supposed to answer with shrinky-dink nods, hellos, platitudes, socially-engineered "I hear yous", or the Latest Gospels of PTSD, and then watch the threads die.

Some of the responses I've seen other people get confuse me. It feels like there is a general push to totally identify with a generic brand of PTSD, rather than sharing how PTSD interferes and interacts with our natural temperaments and talents.

If this is unusual, then that's a good thing. Maybe it is the holidays.

Overall, it is a very sophisticated and informative site. It has calmed me down quite a bit to spend time here. If I can't find a rapport before school starts again, I'll have to move on, thankful for what I have found, and befuddled, because I have gotten on quite well in several different kinds of forums and have had regular cyberpals for years without seeing flack about how people are communicating.

I will never piss in your cereal (on purpose).

 

[goingonhope]

:hello:Hi Grama Herc!

We are having pissing matches and general chaos through out the forum. This is not what I signed up for!

Some, may be it doesn't mean that all of us our though. I suspect with the numbers of forum members that there are, many are not. I'm choosing not to focus on it because if anything my experience has taught me that some people, (people in general), dread and/or dislike these upcoming holidays so much that I've found that many overall people almost appear comfortable with anticipating misery. And, when and if it doesn't happen, I've known people in real life, make almost certain that they bring some into existence. I don't know why this phenonmenon exists. Yes, we all could make some educated guesses as to why, but not necessary to do so, unless it becomes our issue next to deal with.

Grama-Herc, you're a member here, you don't need to worry. The forum does and will take care of itself and any gen. temp. chaos does and will pass. IMHO, I don't see it as common at all, however, when and if it happen here and there, we all can learn much about ourselves and from it. If it is bothering you a great deal, and a Christmas time, perhaps you could avoid it, give it time to pass, and meanwhile get interested in starting your very own blog. This of course is, if this sort of thing interests you. If you so choose, sign up for that for now and wait until the holidays pass, and maybe, just maybe, so will the "peeing in our cereal", too pass. (lol)
:rofl:...:rofl:...please excuse the laughter here, but this is darn funny to me tonight. OM'gosh .....funny !

Personally, I am in my paronoid phase.

Not alone in this one, that's for sure as I get into these phases too. I could share a hysterically funny story on this one, .....about me and my paranoia, .....and something that I've since learned that evaporated that particular paranoia in an instant. But, I'd rather PM you with it sometime, if you're interested in hearing it, bc it's a bit too embarrassing for me to share here. Anytime, let me know if you're interested in hearing it.

I've been reading posts most of the evening and seems no one is happy with or getting along with other people.

Likely some are not, happy with themselves or getting along with other people. This is life, especially holiday-time life. I kinda see the good in it all, bc it reflects to me more of a realism, than if we were all sucking up to one another here. Take relationships for example (any type whatsoever); There is conflict and disagreements in relationships, and then these can be resolve afterwards, it's not necessarily accomplished, but it can be, if each is willing and open to honestly look inward, and inventory themselves and not one another. Sometimes, what I've found is that it gets to a point that both are in agreement, and don't even know it, bc all real listening has ceased and ego and/or fear steps in. Or, there is undying disagreement, but heck' which one of 'anyone' is perfect and needs to be right all the time. Allowing another to be mistaken, and without harsh judgement is a good thing bc then it gives us the ok to be wrong too sometimes.

IMHO, occassional mature conflicts, enhance and strengthen relationships; and far more effective then duplicity in relationship. Projection and presumptions, is a big-time hindrance to effective, assertive communications. Projection, most especially, seems to just shut-down lines of communication quickly. Projection is about only effective to piss others off. Presumptions, well I've noticed that if the other is a friend, we tend to cut them slack. However, if there's distrust, ...perhaps one doesn't know the other well enough yet, but only thinks they do, well then presumptions and/or needing to be right, tends to sever possible friendships.

OMG, Grama-Herc, you're either going to kill me (ha, ha), or think I'm a fruit-loop (oh' well), for writiing so seriously about all this. Enough *****!-That's me by the way, as I'm setting myself straight, here. (lol)

What has happened to our forum?

IMHO, Growth is happening to our forum. Some of the best lessons we can learn may come hard and through conflict and resolve. If what you're speaking of Grama-Herc, was contiinous and complete, I wouldn't say it was growth. But on the other side of things, there is much to learn from trial and error, providing we're not attacking one another, bc literally attacking one another, is not allowed on the forum, from my understanding, and second only hurts and fails.

I joined for some help, insight, information and sharing along with the hope someone just might have a bit of something in their life that could help me manage mine a little better.

Grama-Herc, It's all still here for all of us, it hasn't gone anywhere. And, I do sincerely hope that you take care, hang in and continue to find the support and info. you're needing and wanting. I will add though that at X'mas time, some of us do temp. disappear, and/or get very busy, for a time.

Take Care, And, :thumbs-up for a Nice Christmas, Grama-Herc!

Hope

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hi Herc,

Could be a mixture of a lot of things. Some subjects a touchy for some of us. Sets us off. The holidays. People just feeling shitty about themselves. Symptoms are worse. There are tons of reasons. You throw a couple hundred people together (even healthy ones) and there is going to be a couple of arguements, if not fist flying....

I liked the cereal thing too... I have one that I like also. "Don't piss on my foot and tell me it's raining."

 

[logan]

not me i love hear from others

 

[anthony]

I believe Christmas has a lot to do with it.... the holiday period being the cause of a lot of anxiety. As I say to people and 99% of the time do myself, if you are not in a good mood or have nothing nice to say, stay off the forum IMHO. It serves no purpose to come here and unleash frustrations here that are not necessarily caused here, more simply a symptom to unleash upon..... though the cause is far different from any words said here.

I guess if this is what will occur at Christmas time, then I may just turn the forum off during that period to ensure all have a break and chill out time.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I agree the holidays. The threads that keeps getting started over to begin it that add to it, kinda like this one. People (note I did not say others) add their two cents like I am now...

Turning off the forum is pointless. Obviously there is crap people need to get off their chest and that is what I personally use the forum for and if I did not have that during one of the highest stress times of the year what am I supposed to do? I only speak to one person off line as I cannot yet deal with maintaining multiple relationships/friendships. Shadow puppets? Hmmm... May work I have not tried that route yet :)

 

[Deleted member 93]

OK, I have looked at many more postings I was directed to. Admit I was editing and not really "reading" a lot until I see a real need and want for help like bella, and I do not often try to help a carer. I also, hope herc you did not take any offensive to what I posted (thought this PC statement is against all I stand for).

From what I see and going back to last year threads I see a few differences. At this time last year we had a large group too. This group relayed what they learned in therapy. They relayed experiences. At Xmas many were many "losing" it and crying out (self included as that is when I moved from trigger zone). People reached back out to help. Again, we have a large group, and this time we also have a much bigger influx of new members during holidays when people are down and out. Thing is they all seem so new no one has had a chance to "feel" each other out. Also, many have not yet seemed to be ready or shown they are ready to want the help.

Now about those who have not "felt" another out. Thing is like for example me and bec. It is the obvious for who wants to dig in arcs and I asked her so I will use it. She and I did not get along when she got here. I was dismayed at first over her editing! We took a long time to feel each other out and get each other. We then learned we are not different. We even became friends and a very valued friendship I must say! I will say she is the closest person I even know now and could not do this without her insight. Now thing is some things I say to her on forum and off she knows how I mean it. We have spent an assload of time to get here. Now a newer person who has not built this trust speak to her like I do or visa versa would be a disaster and bomb here. We built this through time and work. So I see many others who feel they can come on with the same attitude when they don't see it takes time to get there.

Now the part of reaching out. We actually had a few established members doing it. They were interested in helping. Getting people who WANTED out of where they were out. So many now seem to want to relate instead. Not get out! So many have given up. I am guilty of this. I want to help, that is why I stay. I had so much help I can only want to give back. I sit back and watch so many cry and hurt but do they ask for help? Are they willing to feel worse than now to get there? So many seem to want relief no more pain. The only relief comes from more pain facing this. I wait for those as those are the only ones you can help.

Then we have those who do get help. They do do better for a while and that is great. But are they here to offer what they learned? Not many. A lot are here when shit hits the fan in therapy. Yes, we all need to vent but why not guide while you are learning the course? Why be MIA when doing well? Yes, be happy be well, but offer it to those who were where you were. We are lacking that right now. Not in a select few in PMs, on here.

I see so many who hurt and won't take more pain to get better, so many who take help but won't give back... To me this is making it worse. I am sure X mas adds to it, and who knows maybe afterwards some will stick around and want real help from those who have walked this ugly path.

OK, I will try to be done now.

 

[becvan]

I would just like to add, that most of us that are trying to reach out and help, are burnt out.

We are exhausted. There are not many of us willing to say what needs to be said. Many members do not want this now. If you try to, you get your hand slapped away. Those that did, are leaving and not reaching out the way we try, leaving the burden to us.

We are not perfect, but some effort to get better, effort to give back would be lovely.

bec

 

[Deleted member 93]

You take what I said and as usual someone else says it so well in few words. We are tired and burnt out. We want to help, but damn we are tired and we get slapped away.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I try to give back, but I'm not sure that I'm educated enough (here) to give the correct answers at this point. I hope to stay and learn so that I can give back what was given, but this will take time, as I am a slow learner.

Grandma Herc, when something triggers you so bad maybe it is just best to take a break. I've read your posts and I care what you say. If I don't respond it's because I'm not sure of what to say. Surely you can understand this, as you were new here at one time.

I hope you feel better and enjoy the holidays.

Tammy

 

[Deleted member 93]

Tammy, no education needed! Just experience and in your time here you have so much to offer. You have already had ups and downs and realizations... That is what we are talking about. When you see someone in your shoes do not relate, try to light the path to self awareness. You have already walked further than you know and can light the way for others. Never think your experiences are not enough, no one should.