What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

I was thinking of a song that Idk but which said something like, ~'It will be ok,. Just not today'. In a way that helps. I wonder what the words are, will have to look it up. Just not now.
I am deeply saddened. By the state of the world, my own physical and emotional pain, the utter purposelessness of everything.

I would not be here if I did not have my cats. And I wonder if I am helping or hurting them.
I am deeply worried. For the dog who is sick, and won't cooperate with Vet's since ours terrified her last year. For my friend. For having to go to a place tomorrow for work and training worst yet. I avoided it for 40 years. I am sad and soooo worried and terrified.
Well my relative's partner showed up unexpectedly to fix the garage spring; unfortunately the part is obsolete and the whole track as well needs to be reinstalled. Too bad as I was game, as long as someone could show me what to do, and would have saved quite a bit of $. But now need guy to come, but planned 1st thing monday. But it did show me something: my relative couldn't get past for a long time the overflowing stress cup, in relation to her partner and the situation. (I do the same about other things.) I could look for a more complicated explanation about it or my interactions with her in general, but I think a large part of it is simply that: missing the forest for the trees.

A sister had a very weird e-mail (not to me) about wanting full legal name and address 'to update her will'. Weird. I say that only from 50+ years experience with her.

Have no idea yet if I will be alone or not at Christmas. I would much much rather be alone than chaos.
Remembered from above I had a user name Rosebud. A person here said also it's a (welding?) tool.

Will have only 2 days to myself (hopefully) at Christmas, not 3. After last night remember all I am trying to avoid. Mind you it was my sister who died's birthday, but there's always some reason/ justification.

My burn isn't too bad. And one blister that broke is shaped like a heart. Would make a kind of cool scar that size.
Trying to tackle year end accounting tasks, Christmas decorating and wrapping, vet appointments and just general cleaning. Trying to just stay focused on the task at hand and remain a human being and not a human doing. Managed to get a mani/pedi yesterday and that was the first time since July. Red nail polish with silver, green and red sparkles for the season. Just nice to do something normal and best part was doing it with my oldest daughter and my newest gran. Had to hold the baby when it was her turn and that was pure heaven.