What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Lionheart]

I am thinking about why I am not in an intimate relationship; why I don't have a significant other in my life. The only person I would even consider being intimate with has turned her back on love and marriage. I have been single for 21 years...what does this say about me?

 

[Ellabella44]

I'm thinking of how p*seed I am after diagnosis yesterday. I now have CPTSD and Bipolar. My diagnosis was correct. And I hate that I was right. The poison in my father's mind is mine now. If you think about it in a way I get to finally fight him for all of the things he put us through. These awful, horrible, wild and sometimes wonderful in its own way now has a name. When I get over to acceptance on this it has a name and I can be armed to beat it. But I'm not there yet.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I'm concerned that I'm having a really difficult time putting thoughts and words together, and how distractable I am these days. It's almost dissociative in nature. I'm hoping it's just stress and the multitude of life issues I'm trying to work through/deal with and not something physical. I feel definitively different and disconnected, and I'm not liking it!

 

[Mee]

I am thinking about retro jello salads and wondering if I am the only person who likes some of that craziness. It’s especially weird because I am very circumspect about meats in aspic.

 

[VioletButterfly]

@Mee - There is only one congealed salad that I can deal with and only at holidays. It is a family recipe that is really more like desert, but I'll take desert before and after dinner, thank you. It involves combining Orange Jell-O, real whipped cream, pineapple, mandarin oranges, and cheddar cheese. Delish!

Aspic salad?! OMG! No, never, zip, nada! ?

 

[VioletButterfly]

My mind has been revealing a lot of little snippets to me lately, and I'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings around this. I was told once by a close friend who walked along side of me for a time that you shouldn't push your mind too far regarding trauma, but that it would reveal what it thought you could handle at the appropriate time. So, I'm curious to know why my mind thinks this is the right time?! I have my own thoughts about this, but am trying to stay put in mindful observation so that I don't freak out and shutdown. Hmmm.... ?

 

[Mee]

@Mee - There is only one congealed salad that I can deal with and only at holidays. It is a family recipe that is really more like desert, but I'll take desert before and after dinner, thank you. It involves combining Orange Jell-O, real whipped cream, pineapple, mandarin oranges, and cheddar cheese. Delish!

Aspic salad?! OMG! No, never, zip, nada! ?

Yes, exactly that sort of thing!

I understand the cultural development for sweet things after meals not with. But it’s not universal, and I think that it’s also comparatively ‘modern’ . I am fascinated with for example, medieval western European recipes, which have some ideas of sweet with savoury some times, and fruit with meat is found in many parts of the world . I think of the idea of the East Asian ideal of a complete taste profile making a good dish ... sweet, savoury, sour, bitter, umami and love also deviations from that. I don’t think one is right or wrong! But I love, for example, membrillo or fruit with my cheese ( or in England a beautiful Wensleydale with fruitcake). Or a fruit pickle with meat , or a fruity meat tagine.

For me though, gelatine on meat alone as often happens on beautiful very expensive traditional places in France and Italy .... it’s not for me.

 

[VioletButterfly]

sweet, savoury, sour, bitter, umami and love also deviations from that.

Me too. I love good Asian food. :) I also love to pair sweet with savory in the same dish, i.e. tangy cranberry sauce over chicken or turkey, or sweet and spicy apples over pork tenderloin. Bread and butter pickles with tuna or chicken salad. One of my favs - Tarragon chicken salad! I guess I add a lot of fruit to my food?! lol Have you ever had broccoli salad? It combines raw broccoli florets, crumbled bacon, sweet vidalia or red onion, dried cranberries, salted sunflower seeds, cheddar cheese, and a sweet and sour mayonaise dressing. Oh, so good and rings all of those bells you mention above. Alas, I guess we're foodies. :)

 

[Mee]

@VioletButterfly that salad sounds delicious... though I might opt for a different dressing :)

I have hardly cooked at all ‘since’ ptsd. I miss it but I get seriously exhausted and can’t get as interested.

The thing I think often makes jello salads turn gross is mayonnaise . Team cheeseC makes much more sense!

But ... I know people who make chocolate cake with weird stuff like mayonnaise so I dare say that’s my prejudgment too ?

 

[VioletButterfly]

@Mee - I've heard that mayo chocolate cake is really good and moist. I guess the taste would depend upon the mayo used. I'm really picky that way. Have you ever heard of people putting mayo or Miracle Whip on top of Jello-O? OMG, gross me out. It's whipped cream or nothing for me. Miracle Whip?! Really gross.

On my mind today... earlier today, I had a thought that slammed into my mind and has stayed all day while I've mulled it over and again. For a grown up, I feel very small. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone, but to me it speaks volumes.

 

[Lionheart]

Certain decisions that I need to make about my future.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I don't like where I'm at in my life and I don't want to do this anymore. So, change will happen. I'm shooting for doing the next right thing since I don't really know what the end game should/will look like. All I have is today, so I'm going to spend it trying to better my lot and doing so with compassion.