What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Wish I could hire you @Rani G2!! But I am afraid you would have a heart attack at the mess this house has become. It just hasn't been priority this year. I need you as a 'Life Coach' on keeping my home uncluttered. But I would hope we ended up setting on the porch talking and laughing and then hire someone else to clean!! That would be a dream come true. Getting to spend time with you.
 

flowerapple

Confident
Everyone keeps telling me that even though I say I don't want children now, I am going to want them in the future. They say that I'm just confused right now, so I don't know what I want, and that in the future, I will want to have children. And, that if I don't have any children in the future, then I am going to live an empty and boring life filled with regret.

But, I know I don't want children. I am certain of that. I know that I don't want children because I got pregnant 3 times already during my whole CSA stuff, and the same people who got me pregnant had me abort them. I know I can't blame my family for saying what they say because they don't know about any of that stuff or that anything really even happened.

I told my family that barely anything happened, so I can see why they think the way they do and say what they say. But, it just still upsets me when they say it. And, holidays especially suck because everyone is together and all they ever seem to talk about is family, and life, and the future, and getting married and starting a family.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, if you don't want children, that is absolutely your choice. It is no one's business why you don't. Sometimes just getting quiet and let the ignorant say what they will is a good way to handle it. You aren't arguing, defending yourself, or agreeing to something you don't want.

You know yourself better than anyone else. Do not have children if you do not want to. Your body, your life, your choice. Sorry, so much pressure is put on you by people who have no business telling you what you want or need.
 
I'm in my fifties, and I also knew from a very early age that I didn't want children. I was told the same as you, that I would regret it, that I would be lonely and that even if I don't like or want children, it's different when you have your own.

I didn't want to have children just to find out if it would be different or not, I didn't want children so I would have company in my old age, or that I would have someone to look after me. I didn't want children full stop. So I didn't have any. I'm not maternal to anything that doesn't have four legs, fur or feathers. It is that simple. I live alone (apart from my pets) and I like it.

I have my furbabies to keep me company, and I look after them, I'm not lonely.

Do I regret not having children? Not for one second of any given day.

You know your own mind, if you don't want kids, don't have them. And ask yourself this, how many of the people putting pressure on you to have kids, only want you to have them for themselves, not for you. Too many families put the pressure on because they want to be aunts, or uncles or grandparents, not because it's right for you.

Because once you've got kids, you can't send them back.
 

Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
need you as a 'Life Coach' on keeping my home uncluttered
Oh man Ladee.. I’d be a miserable one too at times, but I love to kneel down and scrub floors or clean windows, there is so much aggression in me that I can channel while cleaning, scrubbing and Scratching.
porch talking and laughing and then hire someone else to clean!! That would be a dream come true. Getting to spend time with you.
love to hear some stories about your childhood, the lessons you learned, people you’ve met in your life, and the wisdom you carry, see your cats and learn some Knitting.
 

Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
And, holidays especially suck because everyone is together and all they ever seem to talk about is family, and life, and the future, and getting married and starting a family.
@flowerapple I can relate. A 39 year old woman here, and I don’t want children due to many reasons. Was born in a South asian country (Depending on community) where there are strong beliefs about social conformity. It’s hard to be an advocate for your own self when other people have different values and Opinions. I’ve been asked many times, why I don’t want to have kids? My answer is: Lack of empathy due to early attachment disorder. Guess that says a lot.
 
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