What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Tinyflame]

No heat since this morning and I am still waiting for the repairman. And lots of snow.

 

[Friday]

I miss my friends.

My friends are all breathing dirt.

I’m 40 years old. Your friends aren’t “supposed” to all be dead for another 40.

 

[Friday]

It’s so damn weird to think that Chicago used to be a malaria hot zone. It’s just weird to think of malaria in the US, full stop. But since I have family in Chicago, it’s personally weird. The Loop… as a mosquito infested marsh. Okaaaaay??? Shudder.

 

[Ocean147]

I wish the nightmares would just stop. I had another one last night. Time to visit my therapist again.

 

[Tinyflame]

Learned a few days ago my sisters ashes won't be buried here, if they are buried anywhere, tbh. I wish she had had a funeral or blessing.

I know what is not helping me but there is no replacment to be found. And not comfortable for options. Just SOL.

It doesn't feel like Easter coming to me.

I am thankful I unexpectedly start later today for work.

 

[Teasel]

@Tinyflame sorry about your sister. Might you be allowed some of her ashes to put somewhere meaningful for you?

 

[Friday]

This & That.

 

[Dynamic]

Wake up you’re in the middle of it.

 

[Tinyflame]

The booze always turns a nice night into chaos and grief.
She is insisting on getting rid of the dog. Who's now mirroring the instability. And I get the grief. So beaten down it's empty.

 

[whiteraven]

I have never in my life felt so alone.

 

[Teasel]

On my mind is the constant chaos. I keep wanting stability and calm bit you don't get that alive really hey.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @Teasel that's about it.

Wondering if I'm going to get audited at work today. They showed up yesterday unannounced to do it but then changed their mind and picked someone else. Like the people hate the job.
Having a new nice male co-worker is a breath of fresh air. My 2nd-er is a man also which will hopefully be better.
They screwed up paying me out what was left of last year's vacation. They did it last year but I didn't pursue it.
Realize why sister who died never reached out to me before she died, she didn't care living. Which is why she never did while living either, except to talk about herself. The biggest lesson I learned family means is loving people who don't love you, or worse, who are violent in word, deed or plans. And all that is left to show for that, was nothing except the message that you are unlovable. A waste of time, heart and emptiness. Why ghosting never felt to me like ghosting.
My Thanksgiving cactus decided to bloom, and red this time. Pink at Easter. Never know what you will get.