What Is Your Understanding of Love?

[rt1967]

absence of fear

 

[nic]

This is my favorite sonnet, and it pretty much sums up what I believe love to be.

-nic :-)


Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his ending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

--W. Shakespeare, Sonnet CXVI

 

[cherryblossom]

I don't know what love is any more.
I know I had it and I lost it.
I know that I wish I had it now. Maybe it's niave, but I think if I had someone to share this PTSD crap with, then it wouldn't be half as bad.

(sorry - just venting - I guess 'love' is a touchy subject for some of us?!)

 

[shadowmedic]

love, in my opinion, is selflessness and unconditionality at its best.

 

[linasmom]

Cherryblossom-

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ~Tennyson

 

[upstream]

There was a time when I believed that being in love meant caring for someone else more than you care about yourself. Perhaps that is co-dependent thinking though.

"There is no Shangri-La, you know? Every relationship is messed up. What makes it perfect is if you still want to be there when things really suck." ~Carla in Scrubs

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Upstream I agree with your definition and if it seems like love is co-dependent to you, then that is what it probably is to you.

But if I can look death in the face and say, "Take me, not my child or husband". That is love, not co-dependent because I wouldn't be here anymore to depend on them.

I can say to the evils of the world, "Hurt me not my child or husband". That is love. I'm certain I could do this for the ones I love because this life (not that I want to leave it any time soon) has been hard one me and I will leave in hopes they survive.

My husband and kids have not suffered in the way I have, and they deserve a chance to live life and be able to find the beauty in it all without all of the ugly, tainted shit.

Peace
Tammy

 

[Roo]

A few folks here have mentioned love as a choice...yes. So many choices embedded in that one choice: to be kind, merciful, present, accountable to and with another. To choose to stand beside another...and remain when all hell breaks loose. To choose a commitment...day after day after day.

I think of marriage vows -- and how they can relate to all our intimate relations. We don't make vows as such with our dear friends, our children, our relatives, our animal companions, our students, etc. ... but it's interesting to imagine what they might be.

I've read (three times!) a marvelous book called A General Theory of Love; it's by Thomas Lewis, MD, and two other physicians. It is a beautiful blend of brain/social science and stories/poetry. It is an urgent call to action --> to love actively. It's a wake-up call, and states in no uncertain terms that we need to love and be loved or we wither and die. Beautiful book.

I also think of love as a call-and-response of hearts...:Hug_emoticon:

Roo

 

[EmoxxKid]

Love is something that can't be put down in words really...we can try but...it wont ever work really. You FEEL love. You know it when you feel it...it's like nothing ever...

When someone loves you or you love someone...or both at the same time hopefully ;)
you don't question certain things....in fact lots of things really don't matter anymore.

I mean this is how I feel anyway...lol

 

[nor]

I was brought up to understand love as an act of caring for those around you. Being of service, without any negative feelings. Cooking, cleaning, putting up with everyone's abuse without showing any effect. Being totally compliant with the person you are supposed to love. Not giving them any need for upset.

In other words. I never felt love, therefore I never understood it.......

Not until I had my beautiful son. I do want to take care of him, yes-but I also want to share things with him, show him things, spend time with him, and just give him a hug. I don't want any harm to come to him, and I want to help him grow into a happy, loving, successful man. I want to nurture him as I was never nurtured.

That is now my understanding of love. I love my son (and my dog)

 

[spiritofnow]

I think this is a lovely thread :wink:

Love; a warm knowing smile, even when things are not going great! An outstreched hand even if you believe the other person may not reach out and grab it. Acceptance, of an individuals limitations, their power to grow, their vision of life, all sides of them. A light on when you return home, a meal cooked with love, a look that has meaning between the two, a warm bed, indepedence and togetherness. Sharing dreams and helping to facilitate them. Knowing that they can never disappoint! 'To actively listen and allow yourself to learn from them, not to judge. 'To accept yourself so you can truly love others'.

Spirit x

 

[Lucky Laser]

I can't claim to be able to define love, but I think I've seen it in several instances.

1. For me personally, I often feel it when I look into my best friend's eyes and get the safe, secure, and happy feeling that no matter what happens, no matter how irrational or crazy I get, he will never abandon me.

2. One time I was in a hospital waiting room and I saw a woman getting angry. I think she was either very ill or high on drugs. A man was with her and as she got angrier and angrier she turned on him and started screaming at him and hitting him. He didn't get angry in return; he just held her and talked gently to her. I think that was an example of love.

There are lots more but many instances where I find love are just too indescribable...