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That I am finally starting to feel secure enough to ask for help sometimes. I'm still scared to but it's getting so much easier. I am so lucky to have found so many wonderful people who genuinely seem to care about me.
Thanks Britt :-) I am feeling a bit ambivalent about embarking deeper into therapy if that makes sense. I am much more of a scratching the surface girl.
I am happy that my developing discipline and daily routines are paying off. I did 2 Dips in the Ocean which was just great. I walked two hours yesterday. I did all my short study sessions. I decluttered and tidied up more. I put out my hand washing last night and that was a relief when I woke up this morning and found it was raining. As I am decluttering and throwing out stuff I can see more stuff that can go. That I can throw, give away or give to a charity shop. I am happy to have this insight. I am so happy that I saw two friends yesterday and managed that well. I actually had a nice time for the second one. I saw a friend on Friday night as well and I had a nice time there as well. So I am happy with my small and steady progresses.
That I did exercise, going to boogie board in the ocean twice. I went to classes. I decluttered two small bags of stuff. I cooked.
I also came up with a new goal. My goal is to be able to make art 4 hours a day, study science 2 hours a day and write 1 hour a day. I am starting up for 7 five minute study sessions. I plan to build upon this and improve myself.
Nothing up to yet, feel pretty miserable yet again. I was glad that a certain person wasn't in the gym today as it is their hen party at the weekend and although I have paid to go, I'm not, I can't face it.
My wrist is not broken!!
And I took a big step (more like I was kicked out of it) of my comfort zone and spoke with a nurse today about the wrist I have injured previously from my self-harming habits. Lately my wrist has hurt despite my having not hurt myself except cleaning and I got convinced to see a doctor. I was very scared but I did it which made my therapist very happy (apparently she had been worried). I got the results back and there are no breaks or fractures, they think it is contusions in the muscles that needs the chance to properly heal. So much better than a break, I say.
It has been a stressful week, semester actually, but today I got to a point where I could not take anymore so I spent the majority of my afternoon working on a blanket I am crocheting (despite my wrist). It has helped me to feel a bit better and I am making decent progress.
My friend Shirly came by and we went to the grocery and then to MacDonalds for dinner. I got stuff from the Value menu, which made my bill all of two dollars. She did something similar. It was just a nice calm time to catch up on things, chat together and be friendly and have a reasonable dinner in the process. I am still smiling.
Being able to be a functioning member of this family and help my husband out with what he usually does around here. That makes me very happy. It feels so nice to give!