Drizzt, my wife went with me to the PTSD course as a support person and to see if we could make a go of it.
When she was told the truth about PTSD she decided that it would never work and left. She didn't even finish the course.
The problem is this mate. Usually when you get married you may be in the forces, but you don't have PTSD. They love you and you love them, but there is a whole different set of dynamics involved.
You see, some woman like attention. They like to be loved and cared for, held, made love to, etc, etc.
When we come home from war with PTSD we are not the person they married. We are selfish, sometimes we don't want sex, sometimes we don't even want people touching us. Some of us develop habits to escape.
From their perspective they are stuck. The person, in body(and sometimes parts of), has returned, but the person, in spirit and soul, have not. It's the small glimpses from time to time that they see that keeps them there.
If I had known in 2002 what I know now, I might still be married to my ex, then again I would not have the understanding wife I do now.
I only know all this because I have an awesome relationship with my ex. She may live 1500 km away, but we are really good friends.
She did not ask for this and either did you, but it is what it is. You just have to do your best for yourself and the rest will fall into line.
On another note, I have some really good Nam mates at the local gym. They didn't have the knowledge we do today and their wives stuck with them, different generation you see. Anyway, their wives are now scarred and portray symptoms of PTSD themselves.
It's a hard one mate.
When she was told the truth about PTSD she decided that it would never work and left. She didn't even finish the course.
The problem is this mate. Usually when you get married you may be in the forces, but you don't have PTSD. They love you and you love them, but there is a whole different set of dynamics involved.
You see, some woman like attention. They like to be loved and cared for, held, made love to, etc, etc.
When we come home from war with PTSD we are not the person they married. We are selfish, sometimes we don't want sex, sometimes we don't even want people touching us. Some of us develop habits to escape.
From their perspective they are stuck. The person, in body(and sometimes parts of), has returned, but the person, in spirit and soul, have not. It's the small glimpses from time to time that they see that keeps them there.
If I had known in 2002 what I know now, I might still be married to my ex, then again I would not have the understanding wife I do now.
I only know all this because I have an awesome relationship with my ex. She may live 1500 km away, but we are really good friends.
She did not ask for this and either did you, but it is what it is. You just have to do your best for yourself and the rest will fall into line.
On another note, I have some really good Nam mates at the local gym. They didn't have the knowledge we do today and their wives stuck with them, different generation you see. Anyway, their wives are now scarred and portray symptoms of PTSD themselves.
It's a hard one mate.
