What Makes You Angry Today?

[tnkg1rl]

It really is a slap in the face. I'm going to feel bad for my manager when I go back in and he talks about it with me.

I need to move onto bigger and better things where I can actually grow.

Sorry to hear you didn't get that job, I assumed you did. :(

Oh I don't know yet if I did or didn't get it, I've just come to expect the worst, I'm tired of getting my hopes up and being crushed by reality. I won't find out until after the holidays.

 

[Sarg]

Or, they might have already made up their mind on someone else and are just going through the motions because they have to. That happens a lot. Happened to me. And the poetic justice was that he screwed up one project so bad they had to do a massive change order to bail his butt out.

Don't sweat it, CG. Finish school, vaca and then get a job that you really enjoy.

Sarg

 

[combatgoldfish]

New Years Eve fireworks. Barely slept last night. Bastards.

 

[bemental]

I wonder how many of us have chosen similar situations. A lot I bet. I too bought a small piece of property in the forest. Does the PTSD lead us to seek a quiet country life? I find the peace & quiet comforting. I go days without going into town. When I do, it's like Sarge described earlier, in and out, no wasted time strolling down aisles browsing. I spend as little time as possible. My therapist keeps trying to get me go to Walmart and stroll around idly. I'd rather stick toothpicks in my eyes. Is this a bad thing?

First off, why in God's name does everyone suggest that I go to Walmart as well? That place drives sa me people nuts.

Secondly, I'm heading to Maine as soon as I get discharged. Love the slower pace, long winters and wide spaces between neighbors.

 

[bemental]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I can be around people, go shopping and get out. However, sometimes it can go the other way. The stress load starts building up, like shopping in Wallies, on some days when most of the people are rude ass holes. I just tell the wife I am going to the van......

The hardest thing that I am dealing with is my loss of emotions.(90+%)....I can not cry, it's starts but then I just tear up briefly and something inside fights it and makes it just quit...I think this is from Men Don't Cry??? I have little to no joy in my life and that is fleeting. I sometime think to my self, you are one cold motherf*cker.....I guess I am....there was a time I had to be.

There are times when I have no idea when the good emotions will come out. The wife and I just gave our daughter the car we were helping he buy for xmas. The wife had put some bows and tinsel garland on the car. We get her outside and she sees the car and is some what shocked. I go to tell her Marry Christmas daughter and in the doing, I start to cry as it is coming out. It just quits......I was so happy for her on the inside, it just could not make to the outside.........I love my wife and daughter, but I feel they are getting short changed, because of my lost of emotions and me being cold......

J R

Nail on the head. That's my emotional state in a nutshell. That and I don't sleep anymore (0353 and counting).

At least I can troll the forums at all hours of the night now :P

 

[steve1]

First off, why in God's name does everyone suggest that I go to Walmart as well? That place drives sa me people nuts. Secondly, I'm heading to Maine as soon as I get discharged. Love the slower pace, long winters and wide spaces between neighbors.

Walmart shopping seems to be a "trigger" for many of us. I spend as little time as possible when go. I no longer scan the distance to the nearest exit, or watch for unattended packages.
Maine is a beautiful state.

 

[Drgnner]

Walmart. I do not go there at all. I know how they treat their employees, where they get their products from and the crowds are insufferable. When I did go there, I could hack it for a little while, knowing I was going to leave. By the time I get out of places like that, I am generally in a BIG hurry to throw the stuff in the truck and leave. It does not make sense for me to trigger myself.

 

[bemental]

Maine is a beautiful state.

Don't you know it. My wife and I met at university in Bangor. Current plan is to attend a physicians assistant program in Portland, ME upon our EAS and then move back up to the Bangor area upon graduation.

One can always hope...

 

[combatgoldfish]

I have so much venting I want to do. Things just continue to get worse and worse. I'm starting to have outbursts again. I was getting pretty good at controlling it and holding my tongue.

 

[tnkg1rl]

UPDATE:

Didn't get the job, I'm sad disappointed, pissed, and am kinda numb right now. This plane is spiraling quickly.

 

[JarHed]

Hey Tnkg1rl

Sorry to hear that. Hang in there, you've got talent and abilities, you'll get a better job. It's a numbers game. I applied to 67 companies till I got my first IT job. It's all the things you say you feel. Take a break and then get back in the game. Let me know if I can help.

Jar

 

[tnkg1rl]

Thanks Jar. Just getting tired of it. I had a feeling a panel of older male ex military would choose an older male for the position. I'm the wrong sex and wrong age. It's just like being in the Army always having to harder and prove myself more.