What Makes You :) Today

[BaMuoiBa]

Redd, I hear you!

I have trouble attaching to anything.

For the first 10 years after I returned I could not trust a soul let alone create an emotional bond. My wife of 45 years, whom I knew years before I went to Nam, was about the only person I trusted - and NOT all the time. She was the one who brought me around very slowly. Trust was something I learned of, in some degree, serving in the armed forces - I knew these men would have my back at all times. In my view people are not, by definition, trust worthy. Just as I had to earn the trust of others they must do the same in return to gain my trust. The beast was not kind to most who crossed my path and over time strained some good relationships.

As the loneliness began to engulf me I needed something but didn't know what. I never knew what unconditional love really meant until a family of kittens that lost their mother decided to take shelter in a garage I rented in the Bronx. Over the next seven months these four feral animals, that would seek hiding at first sight of me, I eventually earned their trust to where I could feed and even pet them. Over time they did what wild things do and went their way. What stood out for me was a level of trust that I longed for was achieved by feeding and caring for these four creatures. Their leaving created a void and a yearning for more of the same. Since then I've had many four legged friends who witnessed my fears, anger, isolation without judging. We don't give these critters credit for their ability to read human emotion. They know when your our of sorts and give you the space you need and know exactly when the right time help you over the hump when you need it. Over the years I don't think I could ever repay their affection and loyalty.

Sorry I let this thread down a whole other path I'll shut up now!

Ba

 

[JarHed]

I have trouble attaching to anything. I just don't feel anything for dogs. Or most people for that matter. Its not that I don't want to...I just cant. I remain jealous you guys can have the feelings you do.

Hey Red

Give it some time, perhaps a lot of time. It can change, the fact that you can't attach feeling for people or dogs. We've learned not to have feelings and emotions. It's hard to get them back sometimes.

Jar

 

[vikingr12]

Dogs. Dogs. Especially German shepherds or "police" dogs.

I got stuck for a night in an aide station that should not have been where it was: in the boonies, as close to the VC as possible. And stupid for an aide station. But it had a perimeter and guards with dogs and a small heloport.

One of the guards got shot outside the perimeter (why was he there?) and the dog was still alive. The VC must have kept him alive so we would go rescue him. But when we met for a briefing on what to do, camp commander (a captain -- need I say more) decided to have the dog shot. We would collect the bodies later at daybreak. (Right.)

No one there was night trained. They were all straight (airborne calls them "legs") infantry. Turns out I was the only one Ranger trained. So I was "volunteered" to lead the team. I did not like that at all. I was a medic really but combat rescue trained. It was one of those times when you wonder, how the f*ck did I get here?

So I had to teach three other guys how to walk and dress for night ops in the jungle, as if I were really an expert. But I guess I should have been.

While getting there, one asshat ahead of me (I took the rear because that's where they usually came from at night) didn't hand me the branch and let it slap me right in the face. The thorny bush scratched my eyes and it bothers me to this day.

When we got to the site, I thought how lucky we were not to be discovered. Or the VC were waiting for the shot. But I told the asshat who put the branch in my face to shoot the dog. I never had plans to do it myself. I just could not site down on a well trained German shepherd. It took him two shots. Ahhhh sigh.

When I got back, my Dad had obtained a German shepherd puppy. That dog helped me recover in so many ways.

We had to put him down when he got hip dysplasia, common with bigger dogs. They did it while I was away at school. They thought they were doing me a favor. Still bothers me to even think about it.

But we had some really fun and funny times. I expected that dog to speak to me at any moment. In many ways, he did.

 

[Anglesachse]

Got home yesterday and found my Fibi couldn`t stand up and walk.

She had somehow paralysed her hind quater. So packed her up in a blanket made a call to the Emergency Dept of the Vet clinic and hit the road.

45 min later she is on the table and the Vet is not to enthusiastic. Made a couple of Xrays, and couldn`t see anythiong wrong.

Gave her an injection to kill the pain and sent us packing with an appointment for this morning 0815 for a control.

Got there this morning to a different Vet, great female, gave fibi painkillers, cortisone, Accupuncture and a Vitamin jab to help her on her way.

She also said, at 13 that there is to much risk for an OP so we need to get her sorted otherwise.

Allthough yesterday I could have killed someone who spoke to me wrong, today I have chilled slightly and calmed down.

Still a ball ache deciding what to do, she has helped me so much the last years and all I can do is get pissed of for not being able to help her.

But I am still puting on a smile, because the little one is hanging in there.

 

[Sarg]

Hang in there, Angle. I know exactly what you're going through. At first my vet said she wanted to put mine under to clean his teeth. In the states these days vets want dogs walking around with sparkling white teeth no matter what the danger. I came back that he's 17 yo and won't live through it. Well, she changed her mind and prescribed massive doses of antibiotics.

Can't do that as he has liver problems and the antibiotics will kill it. So, I'm taking it all on my shoulders and cutting back the antibiotics to half of what she prescribed.

No doubt his days are numbered. Then I will lose my last connection with the past.

Brave New World, anyone?

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Spunky, my Border Terrier, had a kidney removed at 16. At 18, he didn't have much more time. You want them to have the best life you can give them. He was starting to have numerous problems, I couldn't do what he needed me to. Guess he made the decision, I came home from work and found him having a seizure. At that point I didn't know how long he'd been like that. I flew to the vets with him in my lap. He was already gone. We had to let him go. It's been more than 6 years that he's been gone and I'm crying right now just thinking about him. I'll always miss him like crazy, always.

If you do it right, that's the way I think you're supposed to feel. He had more good days than bad. He was my Mate.

We rarely realize how precious the time we have with them is. Enjoy each day and moment you have.

Jar

 

[Sarg]

A walking, barking, pooping therapy machine.

Sarg

 

[Spock]

Spunky, my Border Terrier, ...
Jar

Jar, How was Spunky, as a Border Terrier, as a companion for your anxiety, sounds like he did well for ya? I ask since my friend has a border terrier but is looking for a trained service dog.

 

[JarHed]

Hey Spock

Well Spunky wasn't a trained service dog by any stretch of the imagination. He was a great companion. He, and Border Terrier's in general, by virtue of their intelligence and very sensitive to what's going on around them. He just always seemed to know, and my other's as well, when I was off center. Off center, how pc is that.

A Border can be trained to be a service dog if that's what you're friend would like. They compete in arena of dog competitions from conformation, obedience, agility, go to ground, ratting in barns, lure coursing, ect.

You have dogs and then you have one that you just seem to have a special bond with, that's how it was with me and Spunky.

 

[Anglesachse]

Can`t beat a terrier for a companion and a working dog all rolled into one.

Be at the Vets every day since Thursday, last day was this morning. She is at least walking again and can hold her hind with out falling over.

But the doc has said we will be back sooner or later. I hope later.

Fibi has realy picked up again now, like nothing was wrong, How do they do that?

 

[JarHed]

Fibi has realy picked up again now, like nothing was wrong, How do they do that?

I wish I knew as well. It's a gift on their part. I'm sure you are aware that there are little carts with wheels that you can put them in so that if their rear doesn't work they can get around. I wish for you and Fibi, only the best and as much time as is possible.

 

[Anglesachse]

Cheers Granpa.

She is a terrier and will probably outlast me, tough little bastards that they are. I was going to start looking for a "Chariot" for her, she must of picked up on it and decided "F*ck that I`ll walk"