What Questions To Ask A New Therapist?

[Kunoichi]

Hello,

I start therapy Monday. I have never gone to therapy before and don't really know what to expect. So I am both anxious and excited.

Also, I don't really know what constitutes as a "good" therapist or if there is anything I should be asking or looking for?

If there is anything I should know I would appreciate it! ^_^

Thanks

Kunoichi

 

[Claire]

I personally believe that the therapist needs to be fully qualified and have experience in trauma. I think they should have empathy and that you feel comfortable with them. Its one of those things that's hard to put your finger on but if they can put you at ease (even slightly at the start!) then I think thats a good sign.

It takes time to build a relationship so try not to make a decision too quickly. Its not an instant fix either so you have to be prepared for that too. Its very hard to tell if therapy is working or not at first, in my experience. The best thing you can be is to be honest and open and to tell your therapist everything. Not all at once necessarily but as soon as you feel comfortable. They can only do their job if you are open with them.

Good luck.

 

[Seychelle]

The best thing you can be is to be honest and open and to tell your therapist everything. Not all at once necessarily but as soon as you feel comfortable. They can only do their job if you are open with them.

I've been burnt badly a couple of times by doing that (one time it took me over two years to recover from that particular experience). If you have a good therapist, that's really good advice, but for someone like me who struggles with connecting with people and knowing when to trust their intuition, I think it's actually better to hold off on opening up to start with and take it slowly.

 

[Claire]

That's why I said, 'not all at once but when you feel comfortable'. Yes, it takes time to build trust, I agree. I also believe you cant be helped if you are not open and honest with the therapist you choose. You have to open up to them. That wont be instant but its got to be what you strive to achieve.

I am only talking from my own experience. I found it very difficult to start with. I wanted to leave therapy, couldn't see if it was helping or not, didn't feel safe etc. etc. I was fortunate that the therapist I chose was the right one for me and gradually things got easier.

 

[2quilt]

I would do an internet search for this therapist's name and see what you get back: journal articles written by this person, whether or not she is on the state board of psychology or psychiatry, where she studied, how old she is, look in your county metropolitan court records for any information like drunk driving accidents, anything public.

Then if all that checks out, go to your appointment with an open mind. She may be nervous about meeting a new client too. You won't get into the deep painful talks the first visit, it's more for "dipping your toe in the water" and see if you can trust each other.

I am someone who can decide if I trust you in a split second. I also go zero to bitch that fast. That's one of my many flaws. Hopefully you can give this new person 50 minutes before making a decision.

I just learned something. Therapists did not grow up in perfect homes and families, they just deal with life in a much healthier way that I am able to do. So, I would say that you can go in there knowing that this therapist went into this line of work because they are really good at listening, and giving clients another point of view on a given problem, with options for dealing with this problem in the future.

Let us all know how it went on Monday.

 

[Kunoichi]

I will and thankyou!

Yea, she is part of victim Services from the state and she has alot of credentials. The funny thing is i want to do what she does...if I can get some healing first of course..or at least enough to help others. :)

 

[Auburngirl]

I'm not super experienced in this area but I've seen a psychologist (not that helpful) and a psychiatrist (very helpful). I'm not saying that their helpfulness is linked to their different qualifications- though I did appreciate the psychiatrist's ability to explain what was happening in my body that made me feel the way I did. In both cases I was randomly assigned to who was available (in the system I'm in you don't generally choose your therapist).

The things that I found critical were:
-someone who had some experience with what I was going through and who was willing to learn more about it
-someone who took a lot of time at the outset to get to know me, understand what was bothering me the most
-someone who respected me and took what I said seriously.

The best qualities about my current therapist and those that have helped me the most are that I feel like he treats me as a competent person not defined by my illness, and I feel like he helps me to live the life I want to - ie therapy doesn't hold me back or restrict me, we try to find ways to enable me to do the things that I want to, it's not about what's normal for other people, but what is for me.

I also feel like he believes me (particularly on the anxiety front I often feel like people don't), and that he takes me seriously.

I hope this helps. I found therapy bewildering the first time around, and kept feeling I should defer to the therapist as the expert. But, I later realised, they may the expert on mental health, but you are the expert on you, you should have an active voice and see someone and pursue treatment in a way that you feel comfortable.

 

[TLight]

Wow, great advice Auburngirl..........yes, you should have an active voice in therapy.

Also, you made a great point when you say your therapist treats you like a competent person not defined by your illness. I think this is very important...........

 

[rt1967]

Hi Konoichi,hope you find your appointment helpful to you,my questions were what is happening ? how could i be experiencing life differently and what can i do ?
with someone else it was by the end of the sessions if everything had went really well what might i know.They felt different and they are both experienced and knowledgeable and their answers were helpful.
wishing you all the best and hope you find questions that help you .Ruth
wishing you all the best ,Ruth

 

[Kunoichi]

Thank you all for your advice!

i will let you know what happens and I am hoping that it goes well. I tend to not have patience when it comes to helping so I want it to all happen at once, even if that isn't the best way.

 

[Salu]

If its your first meeting then don´t worry about anything, just let your therapist lead the conversation. These things need to go step by step and you both need time to get used to each other, the way you think. And that takes time so take it easy.

I personally think that the first impression of a new psychiatrist should be at least neutral. For them it can be just a job but y o u are sharing your deepest fears and maybe secrets so I think people who go to see a psychiatrist are allowed to be bit picky and go for someone they personally like.

I dumped my first doctor after first visit and then I didn´t know anything about that world or shrinks or medication or anything. But I did know a doctor shouldnt make me feel guilty and small for feeling the way I do.

Good luck.

 

[Other]

Hi Kunoichi,

I have also had some issues with impatience regarding the process - and I just started therapy a month or two ago for the first time seriously. Unfortunately I don't have any source of income, so my own choices have been limited - my current therapist is more experienced with addiction than other traumas.

At first, I didn't have any idea what to ask, or even if I should be there at all. Which wasn't a problem, overall, since the Therapist had to ask me a series of questions which took up most of the first three visits.

I'd bet that your therapist will do the same, although maybe just for one session (my anxiety kept me from being able to stay for the whole process in one sitting.)

I'm interested to hear how things go for you. Good luck.


-Other