Hello. I have had the same response to meds as you describe. We went through at least 10 and a variety of others. All of them either made me so sick with physical symptoms or my symptoms of depression worsened. The sleepiness was not an option for me for work and home issues. Here is what did work for me. I was lucky I had a doctor willing to try and he believed me. I ended up taking 1/2 of 75 mg Wellbutrin. I cut those in half. These are NOT the time released ones, those can't and shouldn't be cut. So i only took 1/2 pill of 75 mg. Plus, AS NEEDED I took 2.5 mg of valium. AS NEEDED. Sometimes I would take basically a "crumb" of the lowest dose pill of Clonodine. So the lowest does pill of Clonodine and I would take a very small piece of that. I always run low on blood pressure so I can't take too much. The Clonodine was a miracle drug for suddenly feeling irritable or just feeling the pressure and intensity of many chaotic emotions. It was a miracle drug for when I wanted to reach for alcohol. Valium also helped me not reach for alcohol and it too was a miracle drug. The valium and clonodine I would take near bed time and this helped with sleep. It cut down on the symptoms of screaming out in my sleep or kick boxing in my sleep and waking up in a terror. I am very sensitive to chemicals, and this worked for me. I discovered vitamin B 12 supplements made me really really anxious and depressed. It is not that well known but it is true that supplements can cause anxiety. If I am not medically deficient in a mineral or vitamin I do not supplement. I stay away from sugar and don't eat any foods with "sugar" in the ingredients. Now for the searing pain of feeling abandoned by my therapist (feared and imagined) no pill touches that. The pain of a broken and abandoned heart is so intense it feels like a knife and feels like there is no cure for it. Today I refuse to allow myself to feel suicidal now over these things--this has taken a long while to get this point since suicidality is habit I started when I was so young. Today, I say to myself, "stop, right now." in a compassionate way though--not in a mean way.
