What To Do When Suicide Is Not An Option Any More???

[WendyA]

I am in constant pain in my heart, my soul hurts, my head physically hurts, my throat hurts (trigger from abuse) and I am just miserable in general. I feel like I am being held together by one thread that is unraveling. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more. This thing is taking over and everyday finds new ways to "get me". It takes any good feelings or any glimmer of hope and destroys it immediately. I feel so weak and defeated. I am trying so hard to survive and to beat this thing, I really am. I don't have therapy until next Tuesday and its a new therapist so I have to start from the beginning. I have had more flashbacks recently and the details are hard to take. I spend so much time in fear. I did as a kid too, but seemed to cope with it better. Help!!!!!!!

I am quoting myself from 12-11 and I am in the same place pretty much. I want to give in and let them all win. :cry:

 

[ms spock]

I am quoting myself from 12-11 and I am in the same place pretty much. I want to give in and let them all win. :cry:

When you are down like that you always feel like that. Try to avoid confirmation bias about where you are.

Noticing it all is am important part to the healing of it all. So you have moved but it never feels like it.

Can you do some self soothing, read a book, look at funny pictures of animals on the net, watch a silly movie? Distract yourself in some way which will give you a break from the distorted thinking in your head?

 

[ms spock]

A simple answer in case your brain is not taking much in today.

And if you can't do anything for yourself, notice that, and don't judge yourself for where you are now.

All last year I spent the majority of time in negative/SI/despair/desparate and needy states. I am have made small incremental changes.

 

[24 daffodils]

Yes, funny pictures on the net is a good one - I've done that. DYAC is also good! I also go to the park or take a walk where I know there will be lots of dogs or other animals such as birds…for some reason, seeing them lifts my heart. A hot shower can work. Sometimes keeping it simple helps.

 

[ms spock]

Today is a one small step in the a positive direction type day for you.

 

[ms spock]

I am quoting myself from 12-11 and I am in the same place pretty much. I want to give in and let them all win. :cry:

A more complex answer in case your brain is able to process information today.

When you are down like that you always feel like that. Try to avoid confirmation bias about where you are.

Noticing it all is am important part to the healing of it all. So you have moved but it never feels like it.

Can you do some self soothing, read a book, look at funny pictures of animals on the net, watch a silly movie? Distract yourself in some way which will give you a break from the distorted thinking in your head?

And if you can't do anything for yourself, notice that, and don't judge yourself for where you are now. Acceptance can be away out of the suffering.

Reality Acceptance Skills p33
One way to tolerate distressful, upsetting, or overwhelming situations is to practice accepting things exactly the way they are (Linehan 1993b). To do this, try your best to let go of your struggle to change your thoughts, emotions, or the situation right now in the present moment and allow things to be exactly as they are.

This sounds kind of strange, doesn't it? If you are paralyzed with fear about leaving your home or being in company, or are tormented by worries, why would you want to let go of the struggle to change things? Why on earth would you want to accept things they way they are? Well, paradoxically, many people we have worked with have found that accepting things just the way they are, at least for right now, has often been the only way out of their suffering. Also acceptance is the antidote to emotional avoidance, and many people have found that acceptance can be a life-changing, new way to relate to their own experiences.

By accept, we don't mean surrender, give up, or even like or enjoy your experiences; we simply mean stopping the constant struggle to run away or escape from your experiences and allowing them to be what they are. You can accept something and still work to change it. In fact, to change something in your life, you may need to accept it first. For instance, you can accept that you struggle with an anxiety disorder, and doing so might make you feel more at peace with yourself and less judgmental about your problems. At the same time you can read this book, and seek therapy or treatment to help yourself change.

There is a really good book that I have been working on The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD, and Other Anxiety Symptoms Paperback by Alexander L. Chapman, Kim L. Gratz.

All last year I spent the majority of my time in negative/SI/despair/desperate and needy states. I am have made small incremental changes.

If you can't do anything for yourself, notice that, and don't judge yourself for being where you are now. Acceptance can be away out of the suffering.

 

[Monster]

Celebrate what you can. If you were about to commit suicide before and now suicide is no longer an option, that is a good thing. My experience is similar. For decades, I have had this recurring nightmare about sliding down a slope--be it an icy mountain slope or the sloped roof of a skyscraper--and then falling to my death, unable to do anything at all about it. I don't know if that recurrent nightmare has anything to do with my PTSD or other issues, but it works for me as an analogy. You might have been sliding before, but now you found something stop your slide. It is really hard to see hanging onto an edge as a good place to be, but it gives you a chance you didn't have before. For me, that is my spouse, my adult kids, and their spouses. They stopped my slide. I could shake loose from that hold they have on me and continue sliding, but am determined not to do that and find myself allowing them to help pull me up and away from the edge and their are still too many occasions when I consider letting go. It is at those points, though, that I recognize the danger and get help or do something that helps. Sometimes it is a drive or a nap. Sometimes it is a call to a hotline. Sometimes it is seeking out one of my loved ones and directly asking for help. Sometimes it is a voluntary admission to the hospital. No matter where you are in your journey out of that dark place, you've got to survive in order to thrive someday when things get better. Congratulations on having found a reason to live. Now, work at pulling yourself and letting others help pull you away from the edge and back up that slope...