What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Zef]

On Thursday afternoon. . ."Hey, I'm coming up to stay the weekend and bringing a couple people who you haven't talked to in a decade, too."

 

[Springer80]

My most recent misguided bit of advice is 'Don't let him fu**ing win'.

This, is the first time in 20yrs that my body has finally stopped and I don't have to pretend I'm fine. It's nothing to do with giving in or winning or anything to do with my attitude or my abusers apparent winning position.

I am knackered and I need compassion and seen as no-one is offering I have to give it to myself but I can't do that and work with how physically its affecting me.I have been asking for help for 12yrs so it's not like I haven't tried.

I'm sick of peoples demands when they chose to remain ignorant of my experience.

 

[blue-Ocean]

One thing I forgot is someone once said to me "Get on with your life". Well he screamed it rather than say it, this of course triggered major panic attacks for me and made me take steps backwards in my recovery. It was a doctor who said it actually not understanding at all but he was an orthopaedic surgeon so perhaps he was just ignorant to PTSD and its affect on people.

 

[Sara1999]

When I was in an inpatient psych unit, the nurse I was assigned to one day said, in response to my trauma, "Just try to look on the bright side", and in regards to my depression (which has been on and off for 14 years, it's not something new) "Everyone has ups and downs". This woman should not be working in a psych unit if she really believes that. And then to make matters worse, none of the information she charted about me was accurate (she said I was not feeling depressed or suicidal, that I had not been having nightmares/flashacks, etc), which I found out when the nurse on the following shift checked in with me. And this was coming from a psychiatric nurse!!!!

 

[Britt.f7]

My dad always brings up some story to top mine. It's suppose to make me feel better about whatever happened to me. I just want to tell him, you know that doesn't make me feel any better. I don't.

 

[CrazyHorse]

My mother on the phone to me when I was hospitalized for PTSD: " why don't you just take a trip to Bhutan or something?"

Me: " Mother, I am in a hospital because of PTSD. And I really think I should take it a day at a time, and learn to cope and function in my everyday life, before I plan any major trips!"

My mother: "But sometimes being around 'primitive' people will help you do that!"

 

[CrazyHorse]

My most recent misguided bit of advice is 'Don't let him fu**ing win'.

OMG! This is a mantra I have been saying to myself! You are right, that is so misguided! I will stop that instantly. Thank you for pointing that out!

 

[Shellbell]

My most hated one still is "Let it go".

This implies that I am chosing to deliberately hold onto to pain and suffering - when actually I spent 20 years in denial, avoidance and minimization and never talked about it. Until the PTSD crash happened this year.

PTSD isn't a choice. It isn't an emotional reaction to something like depression. It's how the brain reacts and deals with severe life threatening trauma. It's not a choice and I would not chose PTSD if it were.

And I have been reading how severe PTSD from complex trauma is medication resistent and often lifelong. No, definitely NOT a choice I would make. Ever.

 

[Springer80]

why don't you just take a trip to Bhutan or something?...sometimes being around 'primitive' people will help you do that!"

:wideeyed::woot::laugh::hilarious:

That's hilarious CrazyHorse, I love it. Lets all go to Bhutan! Get on the Bhutan trail!!! It sounds like it should be a euphemism.

There aren't many exotic tribes in my neck of the woods but depending on your definition I could probably scrape some primitive types at some of the social clubs.

 

[DharmaGirl]

How is your vacation going? Grr, I'm on disability because I can hardly function and have SI every single day! Wish you were here.

 

[Shellbell]

Monster1977, I think if someone said that to me I would explain all about my nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety and suicidal thoughts due to years of saddistic abuse and ask them then how their last 'holiday' went. Some people are such morons.

I'm sorry someone said that to you.

 

[Britt.f7]

I actually like the idea of not letting the abusers to win and to vow against not letting them have control over me now. However, I wouldn't like it if someone said it to me. Don't they think that is what I'm working on?!

How is your vacation going?

I'm on disability for other medical reasons, but I hate when people say "It must be nice to stay at home every day.". Are they kidding? I also hate when they get into a rant about people being on disability when they know I am on it. Then they always say, "I'm not referring to you, I'm referring to people who abuse it.". Too late the guilt factor has already kicked in. It's not exactly something I'm proud of. However, it helps my family out and that is my main concern. Sometimes you can't let pride get in the way. I've never met anyone who said, Man I'm happy I'm on disability!

My most hated one still is "Let it go".

I've gotten to tell people, if I could do that I would have by now.