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What Would It Be Like To Be Healed?

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Jade-

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I was talking to my sister earlier and she asked me if I could imagine what it would be like if we were healed. I told her I can't imagine it because I've never known anything different.

I don't know what it would be like to not have this shit in my head everyday. I don't know what it would be like to not have anxiety. I honestly can't imagine it at all.

When I was a little girl, probably about 1st or 2nd grade, the school kept making me take hearing tests because I kept failing them. I got mad about it. I could hear, I just had to concentrate and try to block out everything in my head to be able to. I hated the tests, they stressed me out, it was hard to block it all out to be able to hear the beep in time. I finally told them " I can hear, it's just hard cause of all the stuff in my head". They looked at me like I was crazy.

So I don't ever remember not being/feeling this way. I don't think my sister does either. I would love to find out what it's like though. Maybe it would be the same as being blind your whole life and then suddenly being able to see. IDK.
 
I can only imagine myself how it would feel like!!!

But I like to think of healing as to (reborn) ... Start everything from the zero, but this time, strong, fresh and HEALED.
 
I don't think I've ever really thought about what it would be like to be completely healed. For some reason it doesn't sound that great to me, but I'm not sure if that's because I like the strong person PTSD has helped me become, or if it's because this is all I've ever known.

Your example regarding the hearing tests as a child made me think of doing exactly the same thing as a kid. Granted, I did actually have some hearing problems as a kid (and still do to an extent, but hardly anyone catches on these days), but I definitely do feel like it's partly PTSD. There are times when I simply do not hear, or cannot process, something being said to me at normal conversational volume, in close proximity, in a quiet room. My hearing has never been legitimately that bad, but sometimes it's like my brain has decided that it's dealing with too many other things to bother with a silly task like comprehending my native language.
 
This thread has an interesting title. I'm surprised it didn't get more replies since it was initially posted in August 2010!
 
The longer I go through recovery, the more I realize that my whole life has been little more than living in a prison of limited emotions and bad feelings. I have had glimpses of what it would be like to be "healed" -- clear thinking, optimism, self-confidence, decisiveness. I'm hopeful for a day when I have these abilities more than 50% of the time; right now, it's probably less than 5%. ;)
 
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