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What Would You Call This?

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A couple months after it came out that I was raped, I have (at random times) felt the need to tense and relax certain muscles over and over again (usually my face, thighs or upper arms). Usually this lasts for twenty minutes or so, and then I can comfortably stop, but now this has lasted for days.

More background: it's more like a really intense need to do it. I can stop, but when I do I feel very uncomfortable mentally. I also tense and relax the muscles in a rhythm of sorts. I need to find answers and solutions quickly, as school has started and it's embarrassing.

Answers, half answers, stories and ideas to get this to stop are appreciated. I just really need to get this figured out, and stopped.
 
Yikes. I do this all the time, usually as a way of relieving anxiety when I'm at work and can't get up and get away from the stressor. I don't know of any way to 'stop' it, because for me it's a very useful tool. Except for the face, ofcourse. That took a while to train away. But I was able to do that, to train myself so that I only do it the slightest amount. So sometimes I'll just jerk my muscles an almost imperceptible amount rather than going into a muscle-man pose. :laugh:
 
It sounds like psychomotor agitation. Ever see animals when they are abused? They pick and poke and scratch at themselves. So do we. Some people have body focused repetitive behaviors like dermatillomania or trichotillomania. (Although their emotional cause is debated, the incidence of BFRBs is higher in traumatized populations.) Some people can develop almost like motor tics, akathisia, etc. It's a manifestation of significant stress.
 
My son, who has no trauma background but has learning problems and adhd, was given one of those giant exercise balls to sit on in school. The idea was that the constant small adjustments needed to stay upright cancelled out the figiting . Well low and behold my T has one at his desk says it was prescribed for his back. If I ever get back to work I'm taking one with me because I can no longer sit still. I have that same need to tense and relax my legs constantly.
 

Also nice to have another name for it. I was just told OCD.

I'm not a doc, and normally wouldn't recommend. But Xanax helped me break a cycle of Panic Attacks/Emotion Flashbacks. Even though I have not taken in almost a year. Just knowing it is there provides relief (just please don't take daily - can be very addictive.)

I was advised to notice warning signs, and take before things got too bad. To reteach my body/mind.
 
Isometric exercises (flexing the muscle without flexing the joint) are a great way to burn off low level excess adrenaline & stress chemicals, without increasing your heart rate like you would with regular exercise. Not just double duty (burning off chems, while not increasing heart rate if you're close to an anxiety attack), but triple duty because the act of relaxing them after tensing them is a kind of forced relaxation, which makes you more relaxed than before you flexed & held it.

It's a highly useful thing.

***

Same Token (or) Conversely... The face flexing? Any chance that's a baring your teeth kind of "smile"? If so... That particular expression dumps chemicals into your bloodstream. I use it when running (because I don't get a second wind until late), or any time I'm tired and need a bit of a natural "up". Fight chemicals; adrenaline + endorphins + a few others.

Highly useful if you need to "get your fight up" (anger usually overrides fear) or for short term pain relief... Problematic if you're trying to lower the fight-response.

People are "weird" mammal-speaking... Because we smile when happy. But bearing your teeth? Not a true smile, but a kind of snarly I-wanna-bite-someone way, will trigger that neurochemical response. Like people hooked into certain kinds of brain scans will show sudden flooding of neurotransmitters / brain lights up like a Christmas tree in specific areas with the bite-someone-bared-teeth, but a real smile shows entirely different neurochem.

***

If, otoh, it's a lip curl? Or half your face going one way? That's disgust. No idea what that does chemically (if anything). But it's a good "tell" (just like pressing on one eyebrow is a good tell for shame, or whites above the iris of your eyes for fear) that you can work with if you're having difficulty connecting with your emotions, and can even be played around with. Glaring (both eyebrows drawn in) & and the anger that prompts it can be deliberately relaxed by running your hands over your eyebrows to relax them and pull them up. LOL not by invoking shame. ;) (Touching an eyebrow unconsciously with one hand shows shame. Not touching them on purpose). You see people self-moderating / self-soothing anger and frustration all the time, by pinching the bridge of their nose (pressure point, relaxes forehead musculature) and/or smoothing out their foreheads or eyebrows with their hands.

Reverse engineering emotional response, by changing the expression on your face? Either on purpose with your face, or manually... Is just a damn cool trick. I <3 Science!
 
Eh, not so cool. You know the way your muscles flex when you frown? It like that ×3000. Definitely not sexy. And makes my muscles really sore. But will try to smoothing out thing, though.

Maybe you can explain more of the OCD stuff, though? I'm a tad but confused as to why it would be called that
 
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