What Would You Call This?

[Wudacu]

This is grooming. He is testing how far he can go and how the environment will react. It should be stopped, even if that means calling the police or social services.

 

[Ahil]

This is grooming. He is testing how far he can go and how the environment will react. It should be stopped, even if that...

AGREED 100% and the family example, this isnt family, this is a guy pinching teenager's butts and DENYING IT which means he knows his intention is WRONG! What to do, alert parents, or talk to the girls tourself to say this IS WRONG AND NOT OK and thats it is conpletely ok to say STOP IT and alert authorities if needed. If your friend is denial, then dont wait until rape happens to alert someone about it. Rather alert police and be wrong than not to and be right!

 

[Ihe]

See something say something! Point period blank to add to my above comment

 

[Gihuw]

Back in the day, where I'm from we called that a dead man.

 

[Ema]

Kinda basic... But for something to be unwanted sexual touching? Both of those components have to be there. Pinching can be sexual, or not. Bums can be sexual, or not. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't. Really depends on other factors.

So what I would say is the deciding factor here is that when confronted, he completely denied knowing what the person confronting him was talking about. That tells me he knows there was something wrong with it.

 

[Etiti]

What to do, alert parents

So that is already done, and it didn't work.

alert authorities if needed

I have a strong impression that the authorities would laugh in my face unless it amounted to more than this. Back to trying to talk to the parents.

 

[Atip]

I had no idea this was a part of grooming. I feel sick now. I was constantly told by the adults in my life that nipple pinching was completely innocent because I hadn't developed breasts yet. I would complain about it and they would tell me I was being too whiny and making a big deal out of nothing. I was blamed for complaining about something that was completely innocent. He would do it in front of them and no one but me ever thought twice about.

I want to cry now because I think it is amazing of you to stand up for this little girl. It would have bothered me, but I would have thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill had I said anything. The mother may fear that people will think she is complaining about something innocent as well.

Just a bit of brief reading on how people groom kids made a big difference on how I saw the situation. I had read very little on child grooming until I opened the thread. Showing the mother research on how it is done might help.

 

[Dufi]

The mother may fear that people will think she is complaining about something innocent as well.

I think it's more that her own abuse numbs her to the possibility. I keep feeling like I need to reiterate that I don't actually know anything is happening. But the right thing to do if someone tells you that someone has this history, and you have a child that age, is NOT to invite him to your house. Right?

Showing the mother research on how it is done might help.

That's a very good idea. Thank you.

I was blamed for complaining about something that was completely innocent.

Yes, and of course at that age you would believe what you were told. That's how it works. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I can remember being this girl's age and how I felt when something similar (not exactly the same) happened to me. I couldn't find my voice to tell the guy to stop, or to ask for help. And that says something right there.

 

[Obeme]

Look, I see this REALLY pretty simple. Say something UNTIL. Im not telljng or blaming, Im just telling you what i would do. Id tell the people whether i know its true or not and CPS or whatever child and family services in your area/country and show/tell both WHY i THINK its happening, who i think is doing it and to whom, id also explain WHY i think this is the start of a pedophile GROOMING and by god, if your in the states, use the FREAKING AND DISQUESTING Subway Guy JARED FOGLE whom is the SPOKESPERSON of how one grooms a child. Second, go back to the parents and do the same. Then do it again, and again, and again, AND AGAIN UNTIL. its that simple. I say it again, REGARDLESS if im laughed out of the building, id rather say something and be wrong fhan to not and be right and poor child end up being victims. All of us that have PTSD for child abuse are victims because NO ONE SPOKE UP.

 

[Wihel]

And im sorry if my above post sounds harsh but im about darn tired of people saying "well if i go to the cops they'll laugh, or the parent wont believe" so? And? Everyone in my life missed i was being raised a satanic cult being forced to prositute at 12 and kill small little innocent animals draining them of their blood because my parents had good "world faces" and didnt know for sure though there are blatent signs SOMETHING was wrong and i stayed in that house of hell until i was 18 and now at 34 im so f*cked up i cant see straight. It makes me upset when someone see something but too afraid to say something to the right people that IF its happening can stop it.

 

[Gegavo]

I say it again, REGARDLESS if im laughed out of the building, id rather say something and be wrong fhan to not and be right and poor child end up being victims.

I agree, only I need to clarify that it's not being laughed at that worries me, it's that I doubt I'd be taken seriously.

Also, a few people have said "if you see something, say something" - a popular slogan as I understand it. I haven't seen anything. This is all hearsay. Doesn't mean it isn't true, but that I've seen it? Nope.

All of us that have PTSD for child abuse are victims because NO ONE SPOKE UP.

True. I include myself in the category of people no one spoke up for. Which is why I'm having trouble thinking this through clearly. I'm not questioning that something needs to be done. I'm just not sure what is the best approach. I'm going to talk to my therapist about this because it's seriously triggering me and I know I can't think through all the aspects of it clearly.

 

[Kojete]

In a similar situation, in the UK, I reported it to the police. I knew it had happened with more than one girl. He now has a conviction for assault.