What would you do? - continuing relationship after therapy ends

[Deleted member 42665]

Suzetig--- He told me himself that's why.... I am not assuming anything other than he is't lying to me about it, I was just saying it is a symptom of grief so I believe it to be true

Joey--It would feel as close to how it did before I opened my big mouth, where I feel comfortable and mostly trusting of him. If I think he is too different, then I'm done.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've thought exactly that!

It sounds like that went pretty badly....

Exactly we never truly know someone, that is exactly why that "rule" bothers me.... I've been friends with my best friend for 5 year, she knows me more than I know her, I barely know anything too personal about her but we work as friends, there is different types of friendships.


Also, one more thing but there is no edit.... Suzetig-- he has hardly any clients, less than 10, so no it's nothing to do with a large caseload

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I've never been very good at relationships, of any sort. One of the things I've learned through therapy is that relationships are complicated. They involve misunderstandings and miscommunications, and confusion, along with a lot of good stuff. It pays to muddle through, make and allow mistakes, and see where you end up. You can ALWAYS quit. I've had a couple HUGE misunderstandings with my T. Working through them has been really valuable. First time in my life there was a "safe" place to do something like that.

^^^ YES, YES, THIS!

I suck at relationships and at the beginning of therapy had zero interpersonal skills. The relationship with my therapist is where I learned how to have a relationship with someone. How to communicate. How to express yourself properly. How to hear out another. How to give as well as recieve. It has been the relationship where I could f*ck up and it's ok. It is the relationship where I could test out interpersonal skills as I learned them. It has been the relationship where I learned, and am still learning, all of that.

But, if we didn't have good clear boundries I can see those "f*ck ups" of mine getting quite bad and crossing the line, quite quickly. The boundries in therapy is like a rope I hold onto to guide myself in the dark if you will. Bumping into them helps guide me in the right direction and stops me from falling off the cliff, if you will.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

Well today went alright, he said if I want to end he wont be offended but its my call. He said if we continue because of how much I struggle to express emotions, we can try art therapy. He tried to keep the same vibe all session, laughing and such. He answered every one of my questions, he told me it is ok to keep in touch when therapy ends. However none of his clients have so far.

He thinks it would be good to work on attachment issues, because he had no idea how strong and how tough this all is for me. So we will see. I told him I'm willing to try.

 

[erigby]

How is it going for you so far?

 

[Deleted member 42665]

It's going alright. I mean he is exactly the same which means, so are my feelings.... but in some form its comforting, because too much change would of really changed me and lowered my trust in him. One session at a time I guess.