he told me he can't tell me anything about himself it's against the rules...and says he doesn't. Fair enough only, he does, a lot and very personal. He went on and on one session about his divorce. I know so much random odd things about him and I remember nearly all of it and he has a horrible memory and often forgets things about me. I didn't like that he pretended to be innocent about that.
My therapist did and does this. He used his own personal family as an example of how a family is supposed to be. He'd told me a pretty fair amount about him, his wife, his children, his grand daughter (I knew when his daughter became preg and how - by implanting embrios - and when she was born). He has brought a lot of himself in sessions to help me. And I also remember all of it. And he often asks me the same question a few weeks in a row and it hurt me as well. Until I realized that he sees many patients. He sees a patient every hour of the day. Many, many, people a day every day. I only see him. I don't have to retain information of others. I have a file and he makes notes every session and I am sure that jogs his memory but to remember every detail or every piece of information someone tells you when you see many people every day and this one person is just one of them that comes weekly just isn't possible.
Though, your feelings about it are vaild. Understanding that helped me to not be so hurt over it. That's all.
He claimed I didn't know him really, again, I disagree, I know enough of him to consider it a friendship or like one..... he was snarky and was like, for all you know I'm a nazi. Really rude comment
Maybe a bad example but he's right. You
feel like you know him but honestly you really don't. Again, something I had to explore on my own but you have no idea how much he tells you, how much he doesn't, or what he truely is like outside of sessions. I can tell you my therapist's polical party, what he thinks about that subject, what religon he practices and what he thinks in that area, what his family is like, how many kids he has, how old they are, that he only has one grand child and how old she is, what he likes to do, his hobbies, where he and his wife like to hang out at or go to but I really do not know him outside of sessions and what he is choosing to share with me and what he withholds. I don't
really know him.
The theraputic relationship is a unique one and its common to feel close to your therapist. Thats actually transference. But that is why boundries are so important and it sounds, still, like your therapy lacks clear boundries. That is his fault. He is lay those boundries and come back to them as often as needed so they remain clear.
I told him people online have done it and I thought it was ok to ask. He said, they all should be reported.
I agree with him.
This part was the worst for me, literally last week, he assured me TWICE that he would never change boundaries on me when ending... then he says "Texting and emails have to end at some point" but then after that went on to say, but you can keep in touch with updates, ummm how if that's all ending?
Come back into therapy. My therapist says some old patients will come and see hin fron time to time, as a therapy session.
Many people on the site email and text their therapist. My therapist doesn't allow it and I have no idea what his cell # is. That's a boundry. To me, it sounds like he realized there are not clear boundries and there is tranaference and is maybe trying to set some boundries.
I don't see how this can be healthy personally. Again, I blame him, not you. But this attachment is why and what you are going through now. It is why boundries and those boundries being clear is so important.
