What Would You Do?

[anthony]

Stop thinking and go find out, is my two cents. You can play the guessing game all you want, but if you don't actually go and meet them, talk with them, then you don't know whether you're making it all up in your head to justify your actions of not going, or whether justified. They're just people, the same as you... and if you don't like it, you can leave. Nobody is stopping you, other than you!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Karmas a bitch, isn't it?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Wait-you have a sister that was NOT invited to the wedding? Where did you stand on this before you got the news of your wife's start date? Is this the opportunity you are glad came up so you don't have to go? Could you tolerate going for an hour? I'd think twice about going if your other sister wasn't even invited. I go to family weddings and sit by myself. No one even acknowledges me including the bride and groom. It's painful but I wish for connection and never get it. I never get thank you notes for my gifts either. Everyone wants the family to "look normal". Far from it!

 

[Justmehere]

I was concerned there would be drama and stress when I went to my brother's wedding. Frankly, everyone was so caught up in their stuff and in the wedding, they didn't care about me much. Plus, because it was not a family event (like the holidays) but an event that included family and friends, all the family members were on their very best behavior.

Now, even though I avoid any holiday gatherings, I would jump at the chance to go to any weddings. Then I get to see the very best side of my family members.

If possible, don't give into whatever drama and nonsense is going on amongst them. I hope that you do listen to your wife and go for a short while, enjoy some yummy reception food, and have a good time with your wife, if no one else. Maybe see it like a date night - a safer adventure for the two of you. If your family is being weird, go sit with the other folks at the reception. (I did this and it was helpful.) If they are being too weird, then you two can leave and still celebrate that you were able to spend some time together as a couple doing something a little different.

 

[Justmehere]

one other thought:

I think it's good to think it through, but I also get the impression that you have already done a lot of thinking about this. I would suggest maybe keeping mind to not overthink it. You have spent little time with them over the years. You will have to go to experience it to know what it will be like, and you have a safer person in your life, your wife, who thinks you should go.

In the end, the choice is yours, no matter what everyone else thinks.

 

[Bookoffee]

@anthony you make a good point, I need to stop thinking about. I am sure my sister and her daughter are not thinking where I am or sitting. They will be too involved with the wedding.

Please no panic attacks for me.