General What's The Best Thing To Do When...

[CCurry]

What's the best thing to do or say to my BF when he is in the middle of thinking he is back on a battlefield? I guess this question might be best directed to another combat ptsd sufferer.

I thought he was getting better, but should have known that they were not. Right now he thinks he's in a fox hole, he's apologizing to his buddy for him dying right there. He keeps saying he's sorry to him over and over again. He shouts out to his men where the bullets are coming from and SO much more but I think you get the idea...

Don't know what to do, say when he says he just wants to die over and over again?

Carmela

 

[Pam]

Is it possible that he is responding to you going out alone? Is he attempting to control his real environment (you included) by going to his combat zone? My C gets aggressive when things are out of control and starts threatening to kill people and has vicious nightmares. Then, when he realizes that he can't control things that way, he goes into a deep depression and won't see or talk to anyone for days. He says he needs to be alone during that time. I believe him. If I were living with him, I would go to a friend's house, or if I could afford it, go camping, or stay at a hotel, and just go about my normal routine. Even if he wanted me to stay.

I say this not to give you advice or that you should do that. It just works for me. And seems to work for C. When my brother (before he decided to go homeless in Seattle) talked of space aliens out to get him (I know, not the same thing), I simply said that I had to go somewhere and that it had been pleasant visiting him. And then I leave. Kinda watching my back as I go.

So I guess what I am saying is that when he is in the "Combat Zone", the less stimulation the better?

 

[Shoka]

CCurry,

When my sufferer speaks of wanting to die, I almost always respond that I'm sorry he is suffering so much and that he is in so mcuh pain.

Do you have professional help where you can ask what the best thing to do is? Is he getting help?

I do agree with Pam, you should be sure to take care of yourself when he disassociates like that and he thinks he's somewhere else, (i.e in the foxhole). There's not alot you can do and it might even be dangerous to try to intervene too much. I 'm sure others will comment.

Shoka

 

[CCurry]

He actually does not get aggressive at all, just an unbelievable amount of sadness. I wasn't sure if I should follow him when he went into the basement but I got the feeling that he was okay that was with him. It went on for quite awhile so at some point I did have to walk away as I was tearing up and nothing I said seem to help.

I was thinking of asking him if I could go with him to see his T (even if I'm not part of the session, I just feel I need to talk to his T. Just to get his perspective.

This is SOOOOO hard. We spend our whole life either seaching for happiness or in this case avoiding pain.

 

[tgrl]

That's a full blown flashback. Adrenaline drives flashbacks. The only thing you can do is look into how lower adrenaline levels and stress levels.

Good luck.