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When Is It Time To Call It Quits?

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Going to the ER wouldn't be a bad option either. I would suggest talking to a therapist or crisis line about the next best steps. There is hope and help out there. There are ways to feel better and get support and rest without having to die. :hug: What's your plan for tonight?
 
Give up on the job before you give up on life. There will always be people that irritate you, you are right about that, but maybe there would be less of them in a different job. If you are feeling that you need help, please do go to the ER or contact your therapist. Do what you need to do to get help and support through this.
 
Ha.. Most of the time I don't keep my sanity! :p I have little spikes of panic dozens of times a day, and just tough it out. I have breathing techniques I've figured out over the years that help, and tensing of muscles and other things. I also surf the web a lot, as that calms me down. But I've grown quite tired of it recently. Nothing seemed to help. I didn't realize it, but I was in a bad anxiety state for several days now. Just came out of it tonight. I can't seem to go to HR because at least one of them is out to get me, and I think a lot of them consider me a problem. There just seems to be no winning. So I'm going to have to ditch that job as soon as I can. But still, even with all of this, and all the desire for oblivion...

Don't do it. I never hurt myself because I know, deep down, that it is madness. That I'm going to pull out of it again, somehow. And I do. You will to..
 
I agree with @JEKBreatheandBelieve - There may very well be less jerks in a new job. Plus, they will likely be less habituated to being jerks to you and being able to get away with it. They will meet the new more assertive you. They won't be pushing for you to go back to the more passive version of you like you are experiencing now. You will likely have better bosses - and maybe there will be more protectors too!
 
@Justmehere... Thank you so so much for all your encouraging words. I do have some accommodations at work. Just not too sure what they are. Never had the meeting with HR and the boss yet. I guess they want to ignore it and I've been busy trying to be the same person as before. Haha.

I know I have alot to live for. It's just so much hard work. And my T is on holidays for 2 weeks. I'll go have a nice bath, then try to get a good nights sleep and see what tomorrow brings.

@JEKBreatheandBelieve...thank you too. I know you are going through alot too. I really have been trying. I just get these days where I want it all to go away. It's just so hard somedays. I live about 2 blocks from the hospital so if I need to I'll go. I feel a bit better just knowing all you guys are here. Thanks again.
 
Don't complicate your thinking when it comes to PTSD, which is why I use the stress cup model to remove all the complicated nonsense and science, as it breaks down all the bullshit into the simple facts. Add stress to cup, you overflow and thus symptoms go nuts. It is that simple. Remove the stressor, your cup empties and your symptoms subside. The problem is that it takes time both ways, more often than not, for the cup to fill and empty, along with the symptoms... they move in proportion.
 
I feel ashamed and stupid about my thread last night. As Anthony said "extreme" to think about ending your life over work stress. Very very stupid. Sorry and thanks everyone for your heartfelt responses.
 
I feel ashamed and stupid about my thread last night.
Please do not feel ashamed about being honest about how you are feeling, or thinking. There is nothing to feel ashamed about.

If you did not post your thread, how could we then offer you support. And who knows who may have read your thread that was feeling the same way, and you helped them through it by your post.

I am very glad you are doing better.
 
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