When To Hospitalize

[This Ends Now]

So, the last T I talked to said I should look into immediate in-patient treatment at a facility that specializes in trauma. I am scared to death of hospitals (and hospital bills). I do not have insurance, and it seems like I have been doing relatively well over the last couple weeks. I have been triggered a few times, but did not flip out or get violent. I have had some very negative thoughts and nightmares, but I am NOT going to kill myself or deliberately harm others. It feels like the meds my doctor have me on are working relatively well. I just do not know. Joseph has arranged for a friend to take me down to Grady, a local state funded hospital. I am not a big fan of Grady, and even my T said that might not be a good idea (she would rather see me in someplace a little nicer, but that means a lot more expensive). I just don't know. Bah... I'm rambling...

My question is at what point do others consider checking them selves in?

Should it be done now when I am rational, or should I wait for my next horrible flash back or self destructive episode?

I just do not know. I have had some very bad hospital experiences in the past, but I cannot just assume that all hospitals are bad. I feel like trying to sort this out is like trying to unscramble an egg. Maybe it would be good to speak to a psychiatrist again, and this is one of the only ways that can be accomplished. Any suggestions?

 

[NomadHeart]

Hello This Ends Now

I really relate to your post. During times that I am rational, I don't feel the need to check in anywhere, because I feel in control, and I feel more 'normal'. Yet..during peak times, or episodes, I feel lost and like no help with ever do justice to my damaged soul.

Last year I was admitted to an IP treatment center for 9 weeks. It was during one of my worst episodes, only I was in complete denial that anything was wrong. This immediately put up mental blocks in my mind from receiving full benefits from the program, because I felt I didn't need this. What I didn't know was this stay saved my life. I may not have felt I gained much insight but I did manage to stay alive.

I'm on the wait list again now for the same place. I should be going when the next bed is available. This time, despite all chaos in my life, I am more stable and level headed (well as level headed as I can be given the situation and the fact I cannot afford my medicine atm).

What changed my mindset was the insane level of pain I am feeling right now. As long as I let the memories, the flashbacks, the victim role, the voices, the symptoms and poor coping mechanisms control my life, the more horrible things will keep occurring, and I'll continue living in a nightmare. I know it's going to be the most brutal fight yet overcoming this, but that same little bit of hope that makes suicide just an idealization, is the same bit that is telling me to fight this last battle and finally allow myself to feel the more positive emotions without guilt. I guess...being in a more rational state of mind is allowing me to take my life back.

I would suggest networking with therapists, psychiatrists, etc, to determine which treatment facility is best for your condition and experiences, and find a way to make payments, or receive funding for this help. That's what breaks my heart the most, most of us have no choice but to suffer because we cannot afford happiness, or well being. Slave to the green.

I wish you luck, and I hope you find a way to recover.

 

[kayjay]

Hi This Ends Now...

I've been in the same place as you for the past few weeks, wondering whether it's best to admit myself and when is the point to do it.
It's a tough decision.

I guess, being in a better frame of mind now, you can put a plan of action into place. I would chat with some people (friends, therapist, whoever!) who you trust, who know you well and who would be willing to tell you some hard truths. Make an agreement with them, that if you slide into a self-destructive patch they will notice, not be afriad to talk to you about it, and help you admit yourself into hospital.
Having that agreement in place now might help you be more willing when you reach that crisis point.

I've thought about it a lot, and this is the best plan I have come up with for myself. I'm pretty rational and together at the moment, so I don't think it would be the most beneficial time for me to be admitted. (I'd probably insist there was nothing wrong and walk straight back out!) But I know from experience, that a self-destructive patch is probably not far away, and they are getting worse each time. With this plan in place I feel a bit more confident today that I can get through the next patch without too much damage.
I am extremely lucky though, that I live in the UK so the cost of hospitalisation isn't an issue for me.

My thoughts are with you, and I hope you come to a wise decision that is best for you and your healing.

KJ

 

[evergreen]

The hospitals I have dealt with in the past would not keep me unless I was suicidal or homicidal. I am not sure if they are all like that. I also am not sure how well mental health hospitals handle PTSD. I was never treated for it..though I was diagnosed at the hospital with PTSD. Instead, they wanted to pretend I had bipolar disorder and give me meds for that. I would definitely recommend not going unless you are at great risk of suicide or you have found somewhere specific for PTSD.

 

[sigh]

I'm with Evergreen on this one. No hospital I've been to will admit you unless you are suicidal or homicidal. Then, under law, they have to. If you use that reason and it becomes evident that you are not there because you are s or h, you may be kicked out—especially if you have no insurance.

Thing #1 Where I live, there are these horrible places called Crisis Houses. If you have no insurance or not enough, they will want to send you there. Sometimes it's all about money and has nothing to do with the depth of your illness.

Thing#2 I've been hospitalized with no insurance. I had already signed the papers to admit me to the hospital therefore once youre admitted to a hospital, they have a legal obligation (in the US) to treat you.

Thing #3 Most hospitals (At least the ones I've encountered) want you for a short term stay.

Thing #4 From what I understand, people with PTSD don't necessarily do well in long term hospitalizations. The person may become desperately attached to the safe feeling of the place and the counselors. A few people said this when talking about exposure therapy. Life is exposure therapy, every moment of it. Hospitals sequester people from the real world. Even a computer format allows us to have no name, no history, and the privacy of a keyboard to say as we please (except what Anthony says, right? :)...

I'm a wreck when I come home from therapy. But it's a good wreck. When the wreck-ness is over, I feel so much better. I don't tolerate the real world well, I want the safety of a hospital, but I know it would make me even more agoraphobic.

 

[This Ends Now]

Thank you all for the good advice and feedback!

NomadHeart: I am sorry to hear that you are being denied the health care you deserve. Please try to hang in there.

KayJay: I am glad that you live in a country that offers financial support for health care. I am jealous!

EverGreen: your experiences with hospitals sounds a lot like mine (I have been admitted IP four times so far in my life, always against my will).

Sigh: I agree with you completely. If the "crisis house" care is anything like "MHRC" then I am sorry you have ever had to go. At MHRC I had one orderly hit me with a plastic bat repeatedly and laughed about it. I also woke up to find a large man urinating on the wall one time. I also noticed a conspicuous lack of actual doctors, and a serious lack of compassion.

To all: I feel like I am being pushed into this IP thing pretty hard with words like "you have to go" and "it has to work this time... or else..." Either today or tomorrow I will be going to Grady to at lest get a card that will allow me to get my meds at a reduced cost. I might be rejected as there is a serious lack of funding right now. At least I will be able to snoop around and find out more information. Wish me luck!

Liz H.

 

[sigh]

Good Luck!!! I wish the best for you, you deserve it. Having a good psychiatrist is like looking for the needle in the haystack. One who is competent and knows medications well is hard to find. And finding a good therapist... geez... that's like an arm and a leg. I'm lucky because therapists are losing a lot of medi-cal customers because it's not paying for therapy anymore, so t's are taking you for $60 an hour. yay.

again TEN--good luck.
s.