Relationship When to move on?

[abandon455]

Sufferer has broken things off a few months ago but says she wants to come back, texts me daily but she won't see me and won't call and has taken me off social media for the past two months. lately she seems to be talking more and getting better but still won't see me and does-int even want me to approach her if i see her in public and we have been together 1.7 years. some-day's she says she misses me others she angry and cussing and being nasty and when i call her on it, she says she's not and it's because i won't listen to her or how she feels. someday's she says she wants me to talk to her (via text) others she's now claiming she needs time and space. But the whole thing emotionally drains me and getting tired of texting someone that lives 2 mins from me and has shut me out other then texting me even if it's becoming more and more and seeing bits of her old self. part of me wants to hold on and another part of me is tired of me pushing for time together and communication and talking about it and her just saying she needs time and space and saying she's not ready for that. when she's had 9 weeks. part of me wants to move on and if she comes back great i guess? another part loves her and holds onto maybe she's coming back and the memories of the year and half that things were not like this together. it's just hard for me to hang on with the constant text arguing, being alone and having no one to build memories and a life with even if i wish it was her and having no physical connection or verbal contact. She seems angry and offended by whatever i say, if i tell her if I'm this awful maybe she should move on or find someone else she will then get angry and offended. if i'm emtional and caring she brush's it off or goes we aren't partner's. other times she will seem to be calm and i try to talk rationally and it seems to go somewhere and i'll bring up maybe we can end this isolation and not talking she will go" I'm trying" or " i want to" but when i bring up maybe seeing her or lets meet or talk it goes back to " i'm not ready i need space". it feels like a circle kinda like a washing machine that goes nowhere.

 

[EveHarrington]

This is game playing at this point.

IMHO I think it’s time to move on.

 

[abandon455]

should i just vanish or should i tell her i'm done? i mean i care but i'm just tired of the circle.

 

[EveHarrington]

Don’t ghost her. Just keep it short and sweet and say that you’ve decided to move on.

 

[abandon455]

And how can you tell if its a game or ptsd?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Who cares if it's game playing or PTSD at this point? She's not participating in the relationship. Is that the kind of partner you want?

It sounds like she doesn't want you around, but she doesn't want anybody else to have you either.

 

[shimmerz]

with the constant text arguing, being alone and having no one to build memories and a life with even if i wish it was her and having no physical connection or verbal contact.

You are saying what you want right here. I am not certain, with her past behaviour that she should even have a say, do you?

will then get angry and offended. if i'm emtional and caring she brush's it off or goes we aren't partner's.

Constant fighting has never been my thing. It doesn't sound like it is yours either. So yeah, not sure what you think will change that if she were to come back, say tomorrow. But honestly what really gets my goat is you making yourself vulnerable with the emotions and being slapped down.

To me, that isn't actually forgivable. Certainly not when it is a response you are getting repeatedly.

I think you need to think about this without plugging in the PTSD thing. Just wondering if you would accept this type of behaviour from someone without PTSD.

 

[abandon455]

i sent her a text saying i was done chasing the carrot. she can step up and be a woman and get in or i'll find someone who will and if she doesint chase me she obviously does int want me that bad. and that if her issue was this bad she would be doing anything in her power including couples therapy to keep me, not talking to anyone and everyone else and treating me like the enemy.

 

[shimmerz]

i was done chasing the carrot.

Nicely done. This, my friend, is called self care. You want to hold onto that attitude. It will serve you much better.

 

[abandon455]

if she loves me, she will get her act together if she does-int, i was int that important.

 

[EveHarrington]

Be good to yourself.

You deserve better.

 

[abandon455]

She slowly started acting like this towards me and it’s possible she needs a wake up call or this just allows me to move forward and move on to something better.